This is one of the more difficult posts as it’s stirring painful memories.
“Do you see -?”
“No!”
You Don’t See?
We were at a window looking out at trees.
We being a sales rep who became friend and mentor.
Describe It To Me.
Ever the engineer he wanted to understand.
Well, It’s Like This.
As had been the norm from post-brain surgery at 10-years I described the colorful flickering “dots” for lack of a better word that had been a part of my visual life.
Curious and kind he asked questions, listened as I described that after I recovered my sight…
The brain bleed left me blind, paralyzed on my left side, and in a coma.
I saw the world differently. Specifically, it was as if I was looking through a curtain of shimmering colored dots.
What Does It Look Like?
To best explain I’ll share a scene from Analysis: A Metatron’s Army Book
Ryn and Cirhce are doing research in a cave on the planet Isolar.
“What does it look like if you aren’t scanning?”
“It’s very weird. It’s as if there’s a grey film over everything but since I can still see -.” She let out a sigh. “I’ve learned to adapt.”
Sideways Vindication
My sight was restored such that after being blind I initially saw only in black and white – which terrified me and drove me to endless 10-year-old tears in spite of the neurosurgeon’s assurance I would eventually see in color.
Truth was, he had no idea but he had a daughter my age and went to great lengths to help me through a nightmarish experience.
The Medical Guinea Pig
In the weeks and years after I was subjected to scary traumatizing tests including countless tests testing my vision.
No one seemed to understand what I was talking about by seeing the dots – so there must be something wrong with my vision right? Only there wasn’t.
For years I was subjected to a variety of vision tests. Each time nothing problematic turned up.
My vision was fine.
Driver’s Ed – Enough is Enough!
Just after getting my driver’s license I put my foot down. No more vision tests.
Hell, if they hadn’t found anything wrong in 6 plus years there was nothing wrong to find!
40 plus years later
It’s hard to articulate feelings upon reading I’m not the only one on the earth to see the world differently.
Per the article I don’t have difficulty discerning reality nor do I believe any of the other symptoms applicable. Yet I can’t help wondering if the brain swelling and damage from the bleeding didn’t have a hand in a condition that isn’t so unique.
Though I suspect my experience is.
I Can See Clearly Now
It’s been years since I’ve seen the shimmering dots that gave me that unique peek into the fabric of the universe.
A peek that inspired a Sci-Fi series.
As Roberta put so eloquently…
The Rain is Gone
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