Manifesting 101: Two For One

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As I write in my Bio I’ve had the good fortune to work, live, and travel throughout the world, during which I was exposed to a variety of cultures and met wonderful people from all walks of life and while this had been a desire from early childhood, there came a point where I needed a break.  

My EMF Sensitivity research had us moving every two years.

In addition to numerous moves my research had us criss-crossing the country.

Multiple times.

The upside to all this travel was the ability to fulfill and another childhood wish – visit places I’d read about in schoolbooks.

Especially At Home Around the World, a geography textbook published by National Geographic.

Fascinated by how different environments translated to different housing, social norms and lifestyles I hoped to someday visit some of these locations, including those where the societies who lived there were lost to history.

I was particularly interested in visiting the Pueblos, including Chaco Canyon.

 Work and Tour

From autumn of 93 to summer of 94 I traveled extensively.

Flying out Sunday or Monday returning Friday or Saturday – for months.

I tried to schedule time to do a bit of exploring.

My favorites were New England and Washington DC as there are numerous tourist attractions close to the cities where I was working.

Tour and Work

By the time I figured out what was causing the mysterious and debilitating symptoms that started after I relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area, I was no longer in tech.

Ready for change I went back to school and earned a doctorate in holistic healthcare and later a bachelors in holistic childcare.

My initial EMF Sensitivity research had us driving all over the San Francisco Bay Area which is how I learned I could detect the ultra-low and very low EM Frequencies emitted by geologic fault lines in the hours and days before a quake.

As I write in Riding the Waves: Diagnosing, Treating, and Living with EMF Sensitivity, I was able to predict earthquakes up to 15 miles away knowing the day and time within minutes and knowing the strength within .10 on the richter scale.

I sensed faults USGS was not aware of until and unless there was a quake.

Before long we were driving coast to coast with a focus on the West/Southwest United States in search of EMF Sensitivity answers.

Because I didn’t discover the root cause let alone a cure until 2014 being so ill had us moving every two years.

A Childhood Dream Come True

We spent time in every location visiting historical sites and immersing ourselves in local culture.

Travel Burnout

By the time we relocated to the Pacific Northwest where I was eager for the opportunity to continue the journey of research and healing we were ready for a travel break.

Expanding the Travel Horizon

Eventually I was ready to travel again. I ’d seen much of the United States, Canada, and a bit of Latin America so decided to focus on working and traveling internationally.  

My lifestyle had changed dramatically and I wasn’t looking to relocate with a corporate job so I turned it over to the Universe.

Manifesting 101.

I’ve had excellent luck manifesting by writing my goals so I got out my trusty notebook and pen and went to work.

Books that teach manifesting techniques are listed in the Resource Section of my website.

Faith

Though I was eager to travel and work internationally, even imagined various scenarios, I couldn’t see how it’d be possible without going back to corporate.  

When it comes to international moves, corporate relocation packages are a whole other level of complexity.

I’d tried to relocate to Europe several times throughout my years in tech only to be told that while I qualified, the companies were required to consider candidates in the following order of priority

  • In country
  • On continent
  • Abroad

The desire to travel and work internationally never went away.

Even after I married and had a family we looked for the opportunity.

Let Go

A key part of manifesting is letting go of the outcome as it brings the goal to fruition that much quicker.

Easier said than done.

This has been one of the most challenging aspects for me.

If I take the energy to put pen to paper?  The desire is serious.

Write or Type?

I’ve had as much success typing goals into a Word document as writing them in a spiral bound notebook.

Life Intervenes.

A number of factors including Covid Lockdown rerouted my focus to more important matters and as months turned to years I forgot about the desire to travel and work internationally.

It helps I was able to take advantage of a holiday in Vancouver, British Columbia to test the status of my EMF Sensitivity.

I sensed an underwater volcano geologists were not aware of – according to their press release – until several weeks after I told Aaron during our time there that there was one where it was later confirmed.

I was still going through the process of healing.

I felt symptoms though they weren’t as severe as what I’d been living with in the SF Bay Area.

Wouldn’t It Be Cool?

I’ve written how there have been points in time where I said  Wouldn’t it Be Cool? only to find years later I’m living it.

Shortly after confirming I’m no longer sickened by EMFs even as I remain aware of them I considered it would be cool if I could see how I responded to EM Frequencies, including and especially geologic EM Frequencies in another part of the world.

It was a random fleeting Wouldn’t It Be Cool? thought.

Life Intervenes

As fate would have it I got the opportunity to travel to Asia and while this opportunity fell under the holiday umbrella I couldn’t help marveling at the fact another Wouldn’t It Be Cool? had manifested.

Two actually.

Not only would I be able to research the effects, if any, of EM Frequencies on my person, I fulfilled the goal to travel and work internationally.

I hope readers are inspired by my stories and pursue their dreams and goals.

Be well.

After the Storm: Healing Never Stops

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It’s been a heavy week life-wise so decided to put headphones on and tune out. 

Or in as the case may be.

For some days Ordinary World by Duran Duran has been going through my head.

Saw them at Pine Knob when they first sang this beautiful tune. Sat on the lawn along with high school peeps I hadn’t seen in over ten years along with fiancé who was a good sport given he took me – willingly – to the H.O.R.D.E. festival weeks earlier.

Wanting to just let my mind go I looked through a window at the trees.

The Lighs

Out of the corner of my left eye I saw lights flashing.

I listen to music on YouTube because the sound quality – due to compression rate –is superior to iTunes.

I turned to see there were lights flashing in the video.

I was surprised I’d seen lights flashing from my left when my head was turned so far right. There’s a reason for this.

No Really – Lights!

Readers and followers know when I was 10 I misjudged, fell off a diving board and suffered a subdural hematoma that left me blind, paralyzed on my left side, and in a coma.

I died 3 times in 3 days and had an NDE.

One of the casualties was diminished vision on my left side.  I was told I’d have to live with it.

Grandma to the Rescue

My paternal grandmother advised me to do exercises to help the situation and throughout the years things have improved but I wasn’t satisfied.

Enter the Mantra

Three years ago I felt fed up with what I thought were mediocre results.  I knew from my visualization work I could do better.  Determined I added a mantra to my daily walks.

I have excellent vision.  I have excellent eyesight.

Day after day, week after week, rain, snow, sun I repeated these words.

For years.

When I saw the lights flashing?  The mantras worked.

My body obeyed my manifestation intent.

The Flip Side

In the aftermath of the brain surgery I was subjected to EEGs multiple times a month every month for years.  During these tests they flashed lights at me in an attempt to induce a seizure.

Thankfully it didn’t happen but it was a miserable experience for a 10-year old sitting in the basement of a hospital to endure.

Today?  Those flashing lights showed me I’ve turned a dramatic corner.

When I was 16 I was told I would never heal. I would always be “that way.”

Obviously they were wrong.

I can see clearly now the rain has gone.

Be well.

DO NOT TRY AT HOME – EMF DANGER

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Though I no longer suffer life-altering symptoms from EMF Sensitivity I continue to research with a passion for research through the lens of physics.

I’ve had a passion for physics – one nurtured by my physics and calc teachers – since high school.

When I came across an article in BBC Science Focus Magazine today I felt it important to offer an opinion if not a warning – put through the lens of EMF Sensitivity consequences.

The article is titled “I Let Scientists Hack My Brain to Prove Reality Is a Hallucination. It Worked.“

Normally I would provide a direct link to the article but it is not available on their website as of this writing.

I get it through my Apple News Service.

It’s a well-written article about the author’s experience in a sound booth with music and strobe lighting and how it affected him.

Do NOT Try This At Home!

My personal advice.

My relationship with strobe lighting goes back to the weeks and months after brain surgery necessary to repair a subdural hematoma.

I was 10.  

I would sit in a chair in the basement of a hospital – in the dark – with EEG electrodes glued to my scalp.

At least they’d moved beyond needles.

Several times a month month after month.**

Not a good time.

At various points during the test the tech would flash a strobe light in my eyes, sometimes having me add the stress of breathing rapidly, as if I was running a race.

They were trying to make me have a seizure.

Fortunately this didn’t happen and in the years since if I was at a concert or out dancing – where I was exposed to strobe lighting – have never had an issue.  

I’ve written blog posts about this including photos from the concert with the lights.

Here’s the thing.

Inducing seizures in children.

As I write in Riding the Waves: Diagnosing, Treating, and Living with EMF Sensitivity, Japanese families experienced a health emergency when a cartoon with a character whose eyes flashed caused a number of children watching the episode on TV to have seizures.

It’s one thing to undergo something in a lab but exposing yourself to various pulsing light frequencies is nothing to mess with.  It truly has serious health implications.

Be well.

** Every time I was referred to another specialist who wanted to have a peek inside my brain I had to have the test redone because they only trusted “their” techs. Make no mistake – it was hell.

Letting Go of Anger

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This morning I was thinking about a couple I know who have overcome adversity without being bitter for what they had to go through.  In point of fact they shower the world and everyone in their sphere with love and joy.  This had me recalling a conversation with a relative.  

Some years back at a family gathering.

“You were never angry like that.”

It was in the context of how individuals may act out their frustrations, might take their anger out on those around them.  

It wasn’t the time or place to get into it but truth was, I had been angry at one point in time.  I just held it inside.  

Source

Long before the Me-Too movement women in business were facing challenges.

In spite of a few bad apples I thrived in a male dominated industry.

I enjoyed a strong working relationship and work friendships with many guys – customers and coworkers – throughout my decades in tech.

I’m still friends with some of them decades later.

Solution

There came a point where I could see the anger I was holding inside was harming me and I did look for solutions. 

  • I read about forgiveness – the anger harms the person more than the one who did the harm.
  • I meditated
  • I read books on the subject
  • I talked to someone from my church

Weirdly, those actions only made me more angry.

What finally worked?

I will never forget the day.

I was pacing my bedroom raging at the injustice and suddenly – for whatever reason – I stopped mid-stomp and said to myself I had a right to be angry.

I was harmed. Anger is a natural response.

It was an epiphany.  

I had a right to be angry?

I stood staring at my dresser for the longest time with the words I have a right to be angry going through my mind on a loop.  And in that moment the anger dissolved.

It was giving myself the right to be angry that enabled me to let everything go and move on with my life.

Maybe sharing this will help someone going through their own challenge with emotions tied to being treated poorly.

Be well.

Hutch Cupboard Memories

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There came a time I felt we would benefit from having a hutch cupboard.  At the same time I wasn’t about to do to my family (kids especially) what was done to me.

Spending hours smelling Tarn-X while cleaning silver my parents got as a wedding gift decades before I was born.

The memory of the noxious fumes will follow me to my grave.

Hutch Reboot

As I glance at the much smaller version we found I considered the irony of further downsizing and how it would detract from the point of what the hutch represents.

Generational continuity.

As it happens I spent part of the day spring organizing.  I can’t call it spring cleaning because a big part of it is simply moving items from one area to another because…

Items will be easier to access when needed.

A lot of thought went into this.

We lose power a lot so putting candles in a particular location makes total sense.

Twiddling Thumbs

As often happens after you do a whirlwind change

Done in one fell swoop.

I found myself staring at the mini-hutch

Hey, if you don’t get one as large as your parents had you won’t be able to put as much “stuff” in it.

Um…

I was mentally arranging how I could further “organize” when it occurred to me if I continued along that path I would soon have a hutch empty of all but a few items.  Most of it would be empty.

Defeats the purpose.

My ancestors brought their life belongings across the ocean in a chest of cedar (so moths wouldn’t eat hand-made items).  Every piece down to the tiniest spoon had a place in our heart.

I knew every story as told from mother to daughter for generations…

If I followed through with the “clean and organized” message being pushed in today’s media I would lose every connection to my ancestors.

My Virgo ways have a limit because love matters more than some media writer’s version of what spring cleaning is about.

The Lesson?

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

Something my grandmothers said enough I listened and took to heart.

Be well.

Humiliation Gives Way to Strength

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Working on a novel when a memory from my days in tech surfaced.  A peon I was in a coveted internal training class.

I desperately wanted to be taken seriously, wanted to have the tech company I was working for while taking college classes at night invest in me.

By Your Command

Battlestar Galactica reference.

For days our instructor wrote command codes on a white board after which we typed them in and watched the WizyWig results.

What You See Is What You Get.

My Friend Friday

As it happens on the last day of class – before lunch break – our instructor wrote out a rather lengthy command code.  Exhausted and on autopilot I typed it in, hit Enter.

Oh My

Everything went down.  My initial reaction was confusion.  Then – as if the hounds of hell were in the room laughing – the instructor said, “But don’t hit this command unless you need to do an emergency hard shutdown because it will take the whole system down.”

Cheeks aflame – I’m not exaggerating – I stared out the window thinking I just ended my career.

My boss would hear about it and I’d never be sent to training again and without training I couldn’t advance let alone get any credibility leading to a promotion.

Humiliation Personified

I will never forget 

  • The look of confusion on the instructor’s face when the system didn’t respond
  • The sound of my tablemate’s voice when he leaned close and said “I know what you did.”
  • The instructor from another classroom who came running in to ask “Did you lose -?”

Sink or Swim

I had a decision to make.  Own up to what I did or slink away with the rest of the group as we were told the class was abruptly and irreparably ended.

I could feel the eyes of the my tablemate boring a hole in the left side of my head.

Did I mention I was the only woman in the class and younger than everyone by about 15 years?  Oh, and my boss had to get a special waiver to get me into the class.

My heart thumping hard enough to leap out of my petrified chest I tentatively raised my hand after which I said, “I thought it was another one of your commands so I typed it then hit enter.”

I will never forget the look on her face – like Seriously?

As humiliating as that career moment was it added a bit of rebar in the building of being comfortable – when it comes to career and life mistakes – in my own skin.

I can be proud of the person I see in the mirror in the morning because I know that person tries their best.

And – regardless of mistakes – always has.

Be well

Note: When I told my tech mentor? He roared with laughter then shared moments of career humiliation so I wouldn’t feel quite so awful.

Corporate Life Before Me Too

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Happy Holidays! 

Short post today.  

After sending holiday greetings to a former colleague – and ensuing back and forth – had a hilarious memory come up.

Funny now though not then.

Context

This is my tech cubicle days in Silicon Valley.  

I got along famously with a woman from the Philippines who had the cube next to me.  

A fly in the ointment.

The guy in the cube to her right was an interesting cat.  

He was a jerk.

To put it bluntly he was condescending to us both.

The irony?  I dealt with much worse while with the same company in Detroit.  

It was easy to face off with him after which he’d go slinking back to his cube.  I was always puzzled but honestly too busy to deal with it whereas my friend was upset by it.  

Until…

The Postman Rings

One day my colleague grabbed my wrist – pretty much forced me into a little side room.  I couldn’t recall ever seeing her so excited.

“He ordered a bride!”

????

“He ordered a bride – from a catalogue!”

“A catalogue?”

There was such a thing?!

Like hogs at a market?

“They print them – pictures and little write-ups.”

I didn’t bother to ask how she knew this.

After the dust of her enthusiasm – another piece I never asked about – WHY was she so happy about this?  I approached him.

“I heard you got married.  Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“How’d you guys meet?”

A romance writer I’m constantly asking people how they met their other halfs.

“A mail order catalogue.”

He made a point to tell me it was specific to Asian brides.

“Why?”

I was truly baffled – about all of it but especially about a region specific approach.

“So she’ll be obedient.”

Before Me Too

I don’t think I need to elaborate but I do remember my conversation.

My walk through corporate was certainly an adventure.

Career – Making Your Way

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Listening to Woman by John Lennon and thinking of one of those transformational moments in life.

Career life.

A total neophyte I was part of a district that supported Automotive OEMs and their supply chains. 

After years of experience and education I became an international supply chain expert.

 Regarding the OEM I was part of what became known as the GM C4 program.

This was back in the day of beepers.

As part of the effort to prove my mettle I was handed my very first beeper on a Friday afternoon and told there was a good chance it would go off in the middle of the night after which

I had to call the number

I probably had to follow instructions lest millions of dollars per hour would be lost – by our customer.

Oh – and if I had to go on-site?  Bad part of town.

Leroy Brown anyone?

The irony – unlike my colleagues who tended to be 15 – 25 years older – I’d spent a good deal of my childhood in the “bad part of town.”

Wasn’t so bad “back then.”  Those days came after Colman Young chased everyone – including the job providing corporations – to the suburbs – which happened when I was 4 – 6 years old. A witness.

My Heart – Detroit

Unlike my colleagues I wasn’t afraid to go to Detroit.  Still – stupid to send me there at 2 – 3 in the morning to walk by myself to the parking lot GM reserved for “Vendors.”

Surprised they didn’t put us in the dumpster.

It was a 2 – 3 block walk in the dark.

In the “bad” part of town.

There’s a WRIF Drew and Mike go round about this that is insightful – about needing tennis shoes so you could run from your car to your office in a manner that gave you a chance to outrun the muggers.

Sure Enough

As the moon was dark.

My beeper went off at 2am.

I was 22.

I rolled from bed, called the number, confirmed the system was down.

They would lose – as I understood it – $100 million an hour for every hour they were down.

This is global supply chain.

I promised I would be on-site as soon as I got dressed – they knew I’d been asleep – confirmed with my colleague who would meet me at “the parking lot.”

Asphalt patch of space 2 – 3 blocks from GM HQ downtown Detroit.

It was raining.

Typical Michigan March.

The colleague who was to meet me beeped so I called – agreed to the location.  He was adamant I understood the exact location which meant at 2:35 am I had to explain why I knew downtown Detroit better than any of my older suburbian coworkers.

Including him – who lived in Milford and had just cleared a bunch of trees from his newly purchased lot to build his McMansion.

Made It

Though I brought my own umbrella – it was pouring – he showed up on the asphalt with an umbrella – escorted me to the GM building.

The Elevator

We shut our umbrellas – checked in with the guard who seemed antsy – about me.  When we got on the elevator my coworker instructed me to look up at the corner.  Apparently there was a camera.  He said, “It’s so if someone on the elevator assaults you…”

Oh just yay.

The Lab

He walks me to a chair – I’m … a mental confusion mess – asks if he can bring me coffee.

Coffee?  I don’t drink coffee.

Not until after I became a sleep deprived parent decades later.

I only started to feel human once I recognized the “stuff” on the VJ290.

That’s a computer monitor from the past for those of you just joining us.  Before WYZYWYG.

I don’t think the decision makers in terms of my career thought I had what it took before that night and they’ve moved on but I can be proud because I did good.

That Tiny Nagging Voice

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At this point in my life when my nagging inner voice suggests I need to do something I pause to consider

  • Does it have to be now?
  • Do I feel like doing it?
  • Will something get messed up if I ignore it?

Does It Have to Be Now?

I’ve learned to distinguish how important a suggestion is by discerning how insistent the little voice is.

The more it nags the bigger the repercussions if I don’t listen.

Do I Feel Like Doing It?

If I’ve got inertia going I evaluate whether something needs to be done that moment, that day, that week.

I also consider whether inertia is boredom or something deeper.

Will Something Get Messed Up If I Ignore It?

One of the most painful lessons I’ve learned – one that still haunts me – what happens when I ignore the voice – regardless of how loud or soft it’s whispering.

I haven’t forgiven myself and yes I know I need to work on it.

The silver lining is I have a true understanding of the repercussions of ignoring the voice trying to guide me out of a bad situation and/or into a good one.

Case In Point

Last night while meditating I realized I forgot to mail 3 cards.  After calming the initial panic I mentally said “Hey another reason to take a second morning walk.”

It’s several miles to the post office.

Before drifting off I reminded myself there was no urgency.

Or So I Thought

This morning the inner voice said “Do the cards now.”  

I didn’t feel like doing the cards.

Like I said there was no urgency.

Turn Up the Volume

The next time the inner voice spoke it shouted. “Do the cards now!”

I did the cards.

Next Order

It was earlier than I would normally do a second morning walk but the naggy little voice insisted I 

  • Go to the post office
  • Take My Wallet

Take my wallet?  Why?  I’m not going to buy anything!  I’m walking to the post office and back and that’s it.

Louder

“Take your wallet and put business cards in it!”

I’d run out from handing them out.

Okay fine.

As I started down the sidewalk I said “Okay God, it’s obvious there’s someone I’m supposed to see/meet.”

Which is why the timing was so important.

Next Order

While walking I mentally calculated which return route I would take.  

You know, just to shake things up?

“Go to Starbucks.”

WHAT?!

“Go to Starbucks.”

“I’m not going to Starbucks!”

I had a pot of coffee waiting at home!

Louder

As in shouting.

“GO TO STARBUCKS!”

Knowing how things go when I ignore the naggy little voice – let alone a naggy shouting voice – I calculated my route so it would take me to Starbucks.

As It Happens

It all comes together.

As I was walking toward the door I saw a very pretty lady coming toward me.  Smiling I wished her a good morning.

Coming round to start back home I saw her staring into the distance.  I asked if she needed help.  She smiled and explained she was looking at a car that had Merry Christmas across the trunk.  Following her line of sight I saw and smiled.

Now It Truly Comes Together

I was about to walk on when she asked if she could ask a question.  

“Why are you limping?”

I explained I’d had a subdural hematoma from falling off a diving board, was paralyzed on my left side and when I’m tired I limp.

Her Response

“I had a stroke.”

Mind and Spirit.

We had a wonderful back and forth – one I think helped us both.  

While people can empathize there’s something about talking with someone who’s been there that helps you feel understood if not whole.

As the conversation wound down she asked my name.  Explaining I’m a holistic doctor I pulled out one of those business cards the naggy little voice insisted I take with me and handed it over.

It pays to listen.

You Matter

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I’ve written and spoken in podcasts about how a buddy of mine in the Bay Area fished me out of the murky waters of post-pandemic burnout.  

The Beginning

It was so bad I wound up in the ER.

Fortunately, no health issues.

A passionate walker for decades I dragged myself out of miserable mornings and put one foot in front of the other day after day, week after week, month after month.  Didn’t matter the weather – pouring rain, snow, record-breaking heat, I kept it up.

Initially I spent the time mentally combing through my life and wondering how the hell I got there.  After all I’d been through so much worse.  

On Impulse

Over past decades I’d kept in touch with a buddy I worked with in tech, emailing then eventually texting. One morning I asked – given he was getting ready to brave Silicon Valley traffic – if it was okay I “brought him” on my walks by texting him.  

Sending him pics of sunrises, fogged skies/misty mornings, beautiful foliage, holiday decorations.

At the time I was going so early it was dark and while I saw a few souls walking or jogging I was pretty much alone.

Well, me and my phone light.

Mutual Benefit

He was more than happy to exchange the occasional text – some before getting in the car – some after he got to work.  

In the course of dialogue it came to light he was going through his own struggle.  He’d been taking care of his mom for eons and it got to a point he needed help.  I’m sure readers can fill in the blanks of the stress involved with finding a place where his mom would get the best care and having to deal with the house and other details.

Day after day, week after week, month after month I listened via text as he shared the challenges of finding an apartment close to where his mom would be, of the stress and chaos of getting the home that had been in his family since the 70s ready to sell – by himself.

No siblings.

He listened as I sorted through a roller coaster of emotions and faced incredible anxiety.

Family

I want to note I absolutely had the support of my family but they had their stress too.  Having my buddy meant they could address their own post-Covid chaos.

A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis?

This morning a good friend sent a video – Diary of a CEO: A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis? in which a gentleman talks about the impact of texting someone to let them know someone is there.

Someone.

This man’s commentary perfectly summarizes the healing texting did for my buddy and me.

Beyond Text

In an age in which many people are trying to do digital detox I can add that over those days/weeks/months I came across a number of individuals out pounding the pavement.

Face to Face Human Interaction.

Some walking dogs, some jogging, some riding bikes, – many just walking.

Often with flashlights.

Over time we began to smile – seeing each other every morning it seemed the polite thing to do.  I began introducing myself. 

You Matter.

Me:

“I look forward to seeing you every morning.”

“It makes my life better to see you in the morning.”

“You always look so pulled together as you’re walking to work.”

I met people who play in the orchestra, who are passionate Rolling Stones fans, who lived overseas…

People of all age groups – yep kiddos waiting for the bus – ALWAYS wish them a good day 

Taking time to connect pays in a myriad of ways big and small and goes in both directions.

Don’t hesitate to tell people they matter.

Be well.