For whatever reason while on my morning walk a former colleague popped into my mind. A quick perusal down memory lane gave rise to a stunning – in terms of manifefsting goals – realization
While feelings can help the process they are not necessary to achieve the goal.
A Story to Illustrate
Hey, I’m an author
As I thought of the toxic environment we worked in
Though he was in a different department
Another thought came to mind
I deserved better.
I knew I did.
As I mentally examined the memories including the LAVC I managed
Though I didn’t have the title or salary to match the work I was doing
I gained clarity on the thought I deserved better.
I really did believe it in spite of the fact I didn’t feel it.
Or maybe in this situation belief is feeling.
Before continuing I will point out a few realities
- The environment I was working in was incredibly toxic
- I was significantly underpaid for the work I was doing
- While some of my colleagues treated me with great respect, others were resentful and/or disrespectful
Even as I put up with a lot I knew I deserved better.
I didn’t think about it or try to tell myself this was true, I just knew.
I didn’t have many opportunities to see examples of women being treated fairly or with respect.
I saw female colleagues in senior positions treated with the same disrespect and consistently saw women making significantly less for doing the same exact work a male counterpart was doing.
In spite of this I knew I deserved better.
Knowledge = Feelings?
In terms of potential action yes.
Even though my feelings were on the side of the spectrum associated with low self-esteem and self-doubt I acted from the belief I deserved better.
Or maybe it was boredom.
It got to a point where I tuned out the noise around me and set about finding tasks that challenged me.
Working in tech there’s always an opportunity for this, a good part of the reason I enjoyed that industry.
- I self-taught the skills necessary for managing the LAVC
Which earned my colleagues’ gratitude since they no longer had to.
- I self-taught hardware and software skills.
Building computers from spare parts in an old closet full of “junk” which earned my colleagues’ gratitude since I cleaned it out over a weekend. **
- I volunteered to test new hardware and software
Which gained the gratitude of contacts in the corporate divisions I was later able to tap for help with customers.
My efforts got the attention of a top sales rep.
Had all sorts of awards in his cubicle.
He began asking me to do various tasks for his customers.
Helping me gain experience.
One Fateful Day
Burned in memory.
This rep who became a mentor asked if I would be willing to go to a customer to do a NIC installation.
NIC = Network Interface Card.
I was one of the few who knew network interoperability – both hardware and software – for multiple operating systems, including competitor systems.
Thanks to all that work I’d been doing on my own time – working lunchtimes, nights, and weekends for months upon months.
I went on what turned out to be one of the most terrifying yet most successful professional experiences of my life.
An entire college class crammed into 5 or so hours.
Turning Point
After colleagues realized I could go on customer visits to do hardware and software installations
And complex tasks on production systems without bringing them down
I was tagged for numerous projects ranging from cusomter visits to writing the answers for high-level proposals.
Those contacts I made in the divisions were always happy to help validate my answers before the proposal was turned over to the customer.
You Scratch My Back
My involving division peeps in real customer wins meant their review scores went up.
As did their post-review raises.
My division experiences went from “Who are you and why am I talking to you?” to “Hey, Elizabeth, would you be willing to test…?”
And so it went that my knowledge I deserved better spurred actions that enabled me to manifest my goal of becoming a senior technology consultant.
I even advised then GM CEO, Rick Wagoner.
Who silenced a competitor in a meeting so he could listen to my counsel – a personal career high point.
What I came to understand from my morning musings is even if you don’t feel emotions associated with manifested goals you can still attain the goal.
Apparently, actions speak loudest of all.
** I had the company CEO come upon me one Friday – after work hours when all my colleagues had bailed – many by 2pm – to find me building a computer from spare parts and altering it so it supported the latest OS.
In spite of the fact my kluged computer was several generations earlier.
I didn’t know it was the CEO.
We had a great conversation and years later – after I was finally given the title – I was recoginized by him – for something else entirely – in the company newspaper.
Note: I got a new manager who appreciated my attitude and approach and began sending me to formalized training including a grad course at Carnegie Mellon – another career high point. I went on to gain a number of certifications and have a tremendously successful career as a tech consulant.
Elizabeth Maxim 