Manifesting 101: Be Careful What You Wish For

Note: Longer post.

Be Careful What You Wish For

This maxim has taken on new meaning for me of late.

I love finding fun ways to use my last name in writing…

It all started with my hair.

Note:  I had a very interesting upbringing filled with some very interesting characters including more than one whose perspective and values were questionable.  These people and experiences shaped the events of my life giving me perspective.  I know where I came from and how it shaped me.  If it’s crazy or outrageous I generally – at this point – just roll my eyes. I’m sharing what I believe helpful – in this case – for manifesting.

Like many of my Celtic relatives and ancestors, I’m a towhead.  In my case, not only was my hair very blonde as a child, it was poker straight as it hung down to my waist.

At least it did til the brain surgery when half was shaved off and my dad cut the other half so it would grow in symmetrically.

Around the age of 7 a couple of relatives decided I should perm my hair.

Because, they said, it would make me prettier.

My mom and dad weren’t thrilled with the idea but these relatives cajoled 

One of them threatened

Until they gave in.

Pick and choose your battles was a maxim my father preached even if it fell under the “do as I say not as I do” maxim.

I well remember sitting in the kitchen of one of the relatives and being submitted to the most noxious chemical odors of a home perm in the name of making me prettier.  I’ll admit I did like the perm and the curls.

Until I went to school and was brutally roasted by the other kids for them.

Eventually the perm grew out and I managed to avoid any more until deciding on my own at 13 I wanted one.

The years went by and though I generally styled my hair with the times

Good ol’ 80s mullets

I didn’t think much about perms and curly hair.

Unlike my goofy relative who continued to tell me I would be much prettier if only I had curly hair.**

Your Wish is My Command.

Then a curious thing happened.  

I was working in tech and straight hair a la Michelle Pfeiffer in Tequila Sunrise was all the rage.  I, however, wasn’t sold.  More often than not I just pulled my hair up.  

Hauling round VJ290s and MicroVAXes and crawling around in data centers laying cable and troubleshooting isn’t conducive to much in the way of fancy hair styles.

A Consultant’s Work is Never Done.

It was the Golden Age of Tech and I was living on planes.  

Flying out Sunday or Monday, back Friday or Saturday, then out again Sunday or Monday – for months straight.

Wouldn’t It Be Cool…?

Famous last words.

I loved the movie Tequila Sunrise for a number of reasons, including that it was set in So Cal, a place I loved.  I admired Michelle Pfieffer but didn’t envy her hair.  In point of fact, I thought it really would be cool if I had hair that was curly.

It ran in the family so I knew I could have had it.

Next thing I know I’m living in California.

Job transfer.

You’re Kidding.

Foot Locker thickens the plot.

Needing new tennis shoes I headed to Foothills Mall where I stopped at Foot Locker.

Don’t think it’s there anymore.

As I was checking out, the woman helping me slipped a sample of Pantene shampoo and conditioner into the box.  

When I pointed out it was for curly hair I didn’t have she shrugged and said, “So? It’s free.”

Um, Aaron?  

You aren’t going to believe this…

After towel drying my hair I looked in the mirror to see…


Curly hair!

I phoned Aaron and told him the deal.

I couldn’t believe it!  

Could shampoo really make someone’s hair curly?

Something in the Water.

Without going into it, since I already have in a number of books on various aspects, the mineral content in the water released my naturally curly hair.

Whereas calcium in the water in Michigan kept them straight.

What You Wish For.

The water may have unlocked the curl in my hair but it was also contaminated with heavy metals that wreaked havoc with my health and while I’ve addressed that issue I’ve been left with a glaring truth:

When you manifest you have to be prepared for what goes with it.

The positive is I now consider – as fully as I can – what may be involved if I get what I say I want.

I examine, to the best of my ability, the trade-offs.

To a degree we can never know what it’s like until we’ve been there but I believe I’m wiser now about what I aspire to.

I hope by sharing this story others can benefit.

Be well.

** When my hair darkened in my towheaded adolescence this relative kept trying to get me to dye it blonde because – apparently – I was no longer pretty.

Some people and their oddball values.

To Manifest, Observe

I haven’t fallen off the Earth and while I’m still focusing on self-care I’m taking an opportunity to post a story about manifesting along with a couple of cool EMF links.

To Manifest, Observe.

In these past weeks I’ve noted numerous situations in my life that started with the thought “Wouldn’t it be cool?” somewhere along the way.  

I’m also seeing you need to be ready for what goes with that manifested cool.

I’ve often advised people that if you want to see more amazing events and coincidences in your life, start by observing them then watch them multiply.  This is especially true with manifesting.

Observe the small as well as the big manifestations and note the miraculous in all of it.

As I continued to focus on situations in my life that had come to be I considered the length of time some of them took.

Yes, the prevailing thought is everything in its right time but I like to see signs of progress to keep me motivated along the way.

Last night I was treated to a reminder that I’m not alone on my journey of healing; the universe has my back.

That was fast!

Night before last as I was drifting off to sleep I thought how I missed listening to morning talk radio from LA radio stations.

They have a unique humor I truly appreciate.

I then thought how with a little effort I could listen to any station over the web.  This led me to thinking how cool it would be to listen to radio in other states which led to me thinking how cool it would be to listen to radio from other countries.

I knew all of this could be achieved if I did a little poking around on the Internet.

After that brief consideration I feel asleep and gave it no more thought.  Last night a friend sent a link that definitely got my attention.  It’s a program that allows you to tune into a radio station anywhere in the world.

I stared at the screen and considered my thoughts from the night before.  

How cool would it be…?  

The words are a take on the “Wouldn’t it be cool?” thoughts that have often manifested into my reality.

Going as far back as statements made as a child.

I quickly thanked God for the reminder I’m not alone.

The universe has my back.

On the EMF front.

While I’m not actively working on any EMF Sensitivity project I’m always aware and since I have a passion for learning am pretty much always observing and noting.

A great foundation for observing syncronicities leading to more of them.

I came across a NASA project that intrigued me since it focuses on Ultra-Low and Very Low EM frequencies.

The frequencies that were the bane of my life til I cured myself of EMF Sensitivity.

I signed on and took a listen.

I was curious to see if the sounds would sicken me.

I’m happy to report that I had no negative repercussions from listening.

At one point it sounded like water.  In another, like an empty potato chip bag being crumpled.

I’m sharing the link in the event others would like to participate in the project.

I’m also including a link to one of my favorite music videos, Sir Nigel Stanford’s Cymatics.

The effect of cymatic frequencies on matter.

I believe those with a passion for music as well as physics, math, and/or space would be good at this NASA citizen scientist project.

I wish everyone well.



In my early – mid 20s I dated a guy who was big into meditation.  When stress hit my life like a tsunami he suggested I give it a try. Unfortunately, I could never manage to quiet what various meditation teachers refer to as the monkey mind.

All the chatter that rears its head when you try to experience a moment of stillness.

I read up on and researched various techniques but nothing ever worked consistently.

That monkey mind never stopped chattering away.

He eventually suggested I just give up since it was frustrating me to no end.  Though disappointed I agreed it was the path of least resistence.

I was stressing myself out about it which more or less defeats the purpose of meditating to relax.

I did have a bit of success in what I call walking meditation but it is kind of cheating since I did not quiet my mind during those winter walks.

I used the time walking those winter nights to sift through my life and see where changes needed to be made.

A break-thru came when I bought Dr. Taub’s Seven Steps to Self-Healing Pack.

I’d never heard of guided meditation but listening to those tapes showed me that even those with chatty minds can meditate.

Silva Icing.

In 2000 I took the Silva Basic Lecture Series from a lovely woman in Akron, OH.

Aaron, who used to listen to the Dr. Taub tapes alongside me at night agreed to go with me.

For years I did a kluged version of guided meditation based on imagery from the tapes as well as whatever I produced on my mental screen during Silva.

Creative Visualization – Not

Starting in 2017 I switched from the scripted meditation I had been using for years to reviewing my novels before bed.  

I had become proficient in creating vivid images while picturing characters, locations, scenes, so it seemed like a good idea.

For the next several years I spent evenings reviewing scenes from various books in my mind and though it generally helped me fall asleep it hid a problem.

It wasn’t having the same beneficial effects as guided meditation!

This might have gone on indefinitely were it not for a series of emails between a friend in Florida and myself.  Rereading my words a few days after I sent them made me see I needed some serious change in my life.

I wrote about this in the Tune the Dial post.

To marry action to intention I began doing my old meditation routine in place of general mental movies.  Immediately, my life began to change.

Especially my health which needed tweaking.

My energy levels went up within days and that led to reguarly engaging in exercise which led to more energy which led to…

You get the idea.

In addition to physical benefits the universe began putting in a helping hand in the form of books coming into my possession at the right time.

I think it was seeing I was serious about improving my life – not just talking about it.

I’ll admit it was tough to get back into the routine of guided meditation, not because I had trouble quitting the review of novel plots before bed but because I was so rusty at the routine I’d done for years.

Persistance Pays Off.

Knowing it would all fall into place if I kept at it I kept at it.

And life continued to improve.

The plan is to keep up routines that help me achieve various health and well-being goals.

Routines that begin with the nightly guided meditation, one that includes prayers of thanksgiving.

The Take-Away?

I learned the hard way not all mental movies achieve a state of relaxation and that guided meditation is as beneficial as TM.

Especially for those of us with chattier minds.

Note:  That Monkey Mind

I long ago earned the distinction of always thinking but there was, I now realize, something else going on; something that interfered with my ability to still my chatty multi-tasking mind.

Birth Control Pills and Copper

Birth control pills have been linked to a buildup of copper.  Excess copper can cause chatty racy mind.

Taking zinc and potassium can help but until and unless there is nutritional balance, it may continue to be a challenge to quiet the mind.

I’m sure other medications can have this as a side effect.


Finally getting around to another piece dealing with manifesting.

I’ve got a lot of writing andirons in the fire these days.

It has to do with manifesting by proxy.

You get to enjoy something but you don’t have to live it.

Let me explain…

Especially since prevailing theory is you have to work for something.

A theory that, a Midwesterner by birth, I am more than familiar with.

It all started with the phrase Wouldn’t It Be Cool…?

Come on, you can’t be that surprised.

However, there is a bit of a twist.  

I didn’t actually want what I considered would be cool.

The Scene

I’m 7 and watching Jacques Cousteau on some docu-show on TV.  I was actually bored until my dad pointed out that the people he was working with were raising their kids not in a traditional sense like I was living but on the ocean.

“You mean that boat is their home?”

That boat was a gorgeous sailing yacht.

“But what about school?”

That led to an in-depth discussion about homeschooling and what living a nontraditional life can teach.


No boring school?  No nuns?  No stinky classroom that was ungodly hot in the late spring/early summer?  Cool!

Where do I sign up?

I can see why my dad was good in sales.  He has a way of presenting a vision that really draws you in.  However, he didn’t like to deal with the devil.  

You  know – the details?

Knowing this I wasn’t too keen on his version of how we’d make it work.  

Living on a rusted out abandoned oil tanker in the Louisiana bayou doesn’t compare with what I saw on TV.

My vision was – living space wise – a bit more traditional.

My dad subscribed to Yachting magazine for years and I would lay on my stomach in the living room listening to Rubber Soul or Emerson Lake and Palmer Works I and flipping through the pages.

I also frequently listened to Queen’s Night at the Opera.

I was fascinated by the images in the magazines.

I loved the creative utilization of space – even as I was confused.

“Where do they put the toys?”

My dad explained – by way of answer – the dramatic differences in lifestyle between someone living in a post World War II tract home in a Detroit blue-collar neighborhood and someone following a dream by living it.

He pointed out things I believed sacrifices – no room for toys – were not considered such by those living the dream.

That night I stared up in the dark and thought about the kind of people who raised their kids living on the sea with a boat for a home.  The more I thought about it the more I decided it was cool.

Very cool.

They weren’t afraid to do what it took to live their dream.

I decided such people were brave.

I admired them for not worrying about what the neighbors thought about what they were doing since it was different.

Something I heard endlessly at school, in the community, and in my family.  

That circled back to courage because it takes courage to go against the grain.

Think Jonathon Livingston Seagull, a story my dad used to read to me.

Though I loved the idea of traveling the world and I didn’t mind going against the grain, I didn’t want to live on the ocean.  That didn’t stop me from watching documentaries or reading sailing and yachting magazines or befriending people who owned boats.

We had a Criss-Craft for awhile and used to take it out regularly on various Michigan lakes, fishing and water skiing.

Fast Forward

I’ve done my share of traveling – and boating.

Have a few friends who own sailboats.

Wouldn’t It Be Cool – By Proxy

Not only do I have friends who own various boats including sailboats, I know some who live on their boats.

One couple I know lives part of the year on a houseboat up in Alaska tagging ocean critters for research and conservation purposes.

Most incredible is that I know a family living the Jacques Cousteau way.

They make their living a little differently but they are living their dream in the way I always thought would be cool.

Even as I didn’t want it for myself.

When I first met them I felt an immediate rapport.  So many of our views about living a nontraditional lifestyle were in sync.

I like to say we did on land what they do on the ocean.

I told them I felt as if in meeting them I’d met celebrities from a childhood dream.

They are the most wonderful upbeat people living a wonderful dream.

A dream they built together.

Tune the Dial

I’ve mentioned the first line on my white board is Tune the Dial to remind me to start my day thinking about something or someone positive.  I also have a little drawing of a sailboat as a symbol of this family who followed their dream.

A dream more than a few people thought they were nuts for pursuing.

Thinking of them puts a smile on my face because thinking of them is thinking of what I admire.

Following their hearts and living their dream courageously.

They are the perfect inspiration but more, they are a manifestation from my youth.

One I can enjoy even though I didn’t do the work – living on the water.

Now isn’t that cool?


Finally getting around to a post about an aspect of Visualization for manifesting an outcome.  I don’t know that it was what I planned to do this morning but after an email I got last night I decided to go ahead with it.

I do want mention the prayer success rate I mention from Grace Cathedral – 100% – was measured by success in prayers I said not only for myself but for others.

People who were trying to deal with/recover from an illness or trying to conceive, looking for a house, a job, etc. 

When I do meditation/prayer I do say things for myself but more often than not I’m praying for someone else.

Which leads to…

A friend informed me several weeks back she was facing a health challenge.  I replied with a promise to do Silva healing techniques and then explained what it was about and encouraged her to take the BLS so she, too, could learn the techniques and have others work on her case.

I also gave her the website to put her info in so others could work on her case.

I have my own version of healing that like my meditation/prayer style is a kluge of various techniques I’ve learned or absorbed throughout my life.  I do, however, frequently integrate the Mirror of the Mind technique when doing a healing.

I’ve had incredible luck with it for healing.

The technique involves visualizing the problem in great detail then sliding a frame over – in the mind’s eye – and visualizing the solution whereafter you only visualize the solution.  Since I do a kluge, rather than visualizing my friend and the specific image of an outcome, I visualized an email in which she communicated a very specific sentence.  Last night I got that email.

Two months or so after I began working her case.

This ties to the original post idea which is why I led with it as an example.  Now, I’ll elaborate.

I’ve written of having luck with Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization Workbook.

 Within it there are a number of techniques to try when trying to manifest an outcome.

One of the more successful techniques I’ve used is the Ideal Scene technique in which you describe your ideal scene/outcome as if it’s already happened in detail.

Though not too much detail.

ie., If you want a house, describe the neighborhood and the number of rooms, etc but don’t choose a specific address because the house may belong to someone else or is meant to belong to someone else.  Same with a relationship. Describe what you want in a relationship rather than a specific person as they may belong to someone else or are meant to belong to someone else. Same with a job.

The universe will have something ideal for you.

As I was considering how often I’ve had success with this technique I recalled a fellow Silva student who had difficulty visualizing.  No matter how many helpful suggestsions he got he just couldn’t bring to mind an image.  Knowing there are others out there with such a challenge I thought to share an alternate approach.


In my recent situation I visualized the email.

A bit of imagery involved but most people have received an email so I think it’s easier to imagine getting an email with specific information/news than creating a more complex image from scratch.

I imagined in my white framed mirror getting an email from my friend in which she wrote a very specific sentence to do with a test result she would be getting.

I also did other healing techniques for her.

Yesterday I got a nudge to ping her and see how things were going.  Last night I received a reply.  When I read the exact sentence I’d imagined receiving from her?  


I felt wonderful and excited.

I have consistently had good luck with Mirror of the Mind but this was a twist on a typical healing technique.  

Rather than visualize an image with the outcome I visualized the words/the message.  

It worked!

This morning I sent back an email in which I shared this success story.

In Silva we are advised to recall a recent success when working a case as it boosts future success rates!

I’m taking the opportunity to share the twist on the visualization technique with readers since I know some have difficulty picturing a specific outcome.

When you can’t visualize?  Describe.

Note:  If you don’t get what you are working on it may be that you are not meant to have it.  Popular philosophy on this is the reason is the universe has something else in store for you.

The universe has you covered.

Be well!


This is my third attempt at writing about an aspect of manifesting goals that came to mind while I was in the liquid think tank this morning.

The shower.

I was thinking of an email exchange with a friend who has recently attained a major goal.  

One he’d been working toward for years!

During that time in which we traveled parallel lanes as we went for goals we did what we could to support each other’s efforts.

Sometimes acting as a cheering coach, other times a sympathetic ear.

I recently suggested he read Neville Goddard’s Be What You Wish and while it may seem an odd suggestion if he’s achieved his goal, it’s actually a critical piece of the puzzle if he doesn’t want to lose what he’s achived.

Most people, myself included, think of the action items they need to do to achieve the goals.  What about what you need to avoid?

Whether you are on the path toward the goal, you have recently achieved it, or you’ve had it for awhile what you don’t do is as important as what you do if you want to attain and/or maintain it.  

Fortunately, you can use Neville’s approach for either.

Let’s say your goal is to be a successful consultant.  Depending on the industry some of the tasks you’d need to do would be take specialized training, subscribe to an industry publication.

Perhaps join a professional association.  

But what shouldn’t you do?

In a nutshell, you’d need to avoid actions, situations, and individuals that would negatively impact your efforts.

You’d do well to avoid activities that would distract you from what you should be doing as well as avoiding people who aren’t supportive of your efforts.

The last one can be trickier than you might imagine because it may not be obvious at certain points along the path to your goal.

As I thought about strategies that might help my friend in determining next steps I considered the importance – now that he’s achieved his goal – of finding people who can help him sustain it.  Not just people like me who are happy for him, but peers with whom he can share ideas and embrace this new place in his life.

People who would understand the enormous effort that went into it.

Since it may not be obvious where and how to find these people – outside professional organizations – it makes sense to go back to Neville’s strategy.

What would a person who achieved this do?  How would they spend their time and with who?

I’m not suggesting turning your back on friends but it is critical to be around people who can support who you are and where you want to go next.  

Who can help you maintain this new phase of your life.

If it’s related to a specific goal, it’s likely you’d want to narrow your search.

You recently passed the bar. What is the next most important thing to do?

If it’s related to a lifestyle goal, you would also want to narrow your search.

You moved to a new state.  What unique activities do the locals do that would help you feel the place home and feel like a local?

Perhaps most importantly, what do you need to let go of?

  • Unless there’s a valid reason you may not want to hang around college after you’ve graduated and passed the bar.
  • It wouldn’t make sense to tell everyone in your new state how much you miss your old state or why a certain store or brand or activity in your old state is superior to anything available in your new state.

While taking this step can happen at any point along the journey to your goal, starting early would be helpful.  

  • If you are studying to be a lawyer, subscribe to legal journals, join a professional organization, find and hang out with other attorneys
  • Visit the new state before moving if possible so that by the time you move it already feels like home.  If you can’t?  Read up as much as you can about it and/or subscribe to a magazine dedicated to a major city there.

No Time Like the Present

Sooner is better.

We go through a number of transitions along the path to our goal.  We grow and become.  If we embrace these changes up front by realizing ahead of time who we need to be, we bring the goal to life that much sooner.

Be sure to include what you won’t do or who you won’t be in your planning.

Letting go of that which no longer serves.

Don’t forget to celebrate your victory, but equally as important, hold on to what you’ve achieved.

Honor yourself.


For a day following one that ended on such a high note, today is filled with sobering thoughts.

Good stuff, but sobering.

I’ve mentioned I utilize a white board to track various tasks.

I mentioned in a post yesterday the task list is rather lengthy now.

This morning I added a new task to the very top

Tune the Dial

What does this mean?  Unlike the t-shirt in my store it is not about avoiding negativity.

Though that is wise.  

Rather, it’s about the opposite.  Focus on the positive.

Specifically a person or a situation that will put a smile in your heart when you think on it.

The idea to take such deliberate action came as part of a post-mortem analysis of the previous winter.  It was, due to a variety of circumstances, a low point in my life.  

Fortunately, months of introspection revealed it is unlikely the stars will line up in such a way again.


That isn’t to say I can be heedless of the fact some of my own vulnerabilities make it so if I’m not careful I could wind up in a smiliar place.

It was one of those where stress led to a behavior to address the stress but ended up bringing different stress which led to…

It was for this reason I spent months dissecting everything that took place including my role in any of it.

How did my actions contribute to my own suffering?

Once I finished that I identified actions I could take to avoid getting sucked into such a place again. I further considered how I might raise my energy vibration back to what it was prior to the chaos.  One idea I toyed with was starting every morning by thinking of someone or something that put a smile in my heart.

To achieve the higher vibration I needed to refocus my attention.

I had to Tune the Dial.

What gave me the idea was that I’d noted whenever I composed an email to a certain friend I felt absolutely fantastic.

Energized and ready to face the day!

I decided to test and see if I felt that way even if I didn’t write to this friend but simply thought of them.  

It worked!

I went through other evaluations in order to gauge how various events affected me.

Including interactions with other people.

I periodically tried the morning email thought to see if it consistently got me smiling.

It does.

Wanting to be thorough in my efforts to see how various events affect me I spent the past few days doing a number of tests, including reading headlines.

I discovered that my interactions with people affect me far more than what I read in the headlines, regardless of whether or not those headlines are negative and/or upsetting.

I alluded to this in Under Siege: Tools and Strategies for Dealing with the Pillars of EMF Sensitivity in the section on Esoteric EMFs.

I considered activities that bring joy.

  • Conversations with Family
  • Philosophical conversations with others who love to stretch their minds
  • Conversations with people pursuing their dreams or who have achieved them
  • Writing
  • Thinking of Fans**
  • Music
  • Walking

I considered there are some activities I haven’t done in a long time but knowing they brought happiness determined I would reengage.

Specifically a workout routine I did for decades, a combination of stretches and weight lifting.

I determined I got the best response by making a point each morning to think of someone or something that makes me smile.

I may write a message to them I don’t intend to send just to get that frequency tuned correctly.

I also determined it is in my best interest to make changes in how I handle situations that bring me down.

Especially interactions with people who drain me rather than juice me up.

I decided that each time I think of individual(s) who have caused grief or in some way drained me I will automatically send them thoughts of love and happiness.

I used a modified Silva technique to program myself to do as much.

I am getting good results.

Felt as if the weight of the world tumbled from my shoulders.

I am determined to make Tuning the Dial to bring in positive energy a habit.


**Thinking of the people who stop by to visit my websites and who subscribe brings such a smile to my heart!  Thinking how people are enjoying the stories I write brings joy.


Note: Long

Listening to the playlist for the upcoming Hollow Shelter which got two additional tunes, one of which I’d never heard before watching The Batman last night.

Something in the Way by Nirvana.

When I heard it my mind I tuned the movie out for a moment as I thought “Wow, that would be cool for this upcoming book…”

In spite of having a dream about alligators I woke up feeling pretty good and ready to make what consider progress writing.

I was washing them down a shower drain with a hose.  Go figure.

But First – A Message From Our Sponsor

Mother Nature

I didn’t just jump into the situation because I needed to consider the impact of intense heat on my ability to work on a novel.

Heat can be distracting.

We have no AC so these times of year when the heat goes up and the breeze disappears?  Not fun.

At least this year I wasn’t forced to shut every window because of fire smoke from California, Oregon, Canada, and Western Washington blowing ash into the air.

I didn’t grow up having AC.

Or a dishwasher.  

Oh wait – we did.  


Aware of the parameters, I needed to consider my rhythm relative to the arc of increasing then decreasing heat and the likelihood I would be ready to put fingers to keyboard before it got distractingly hot.

Odds weren’t looking good.

I made the best of it which means What’s quick and easy?

Low hanging fruit

The White Board!

I hate lists and don’t technically need them other than to act as nags to get to stuff I’d rather not do.

At the top of the board?

The Dude

Followed by The Store and Marketing – which I also detest.  

It was so much easier working for a corporation that had a Marketing Department.  

Then again, maybe not since 1/2 to 3/4 of my job was explaining to customers why their pie-in-the-sky slide whipping failed because it didn’t include the fine print.

At the bottom of the list is LOGO

How the heck do you create one that does justice to who you are?

Designing a web presence that encompasses all the facets of me is like trying to write a resume that includes life experiences on top of education and work experience that includes being quick enough to dodge male babies ready to get me when changing a diaper at 11.

At least his mom – my aunt – warned me.

I guess I could put that one in with the fact I had a rocket arm that put me in the outfield after I refused to play 1st yet could get the ball and get it to 3rd or home in time to get them out.  


Where would that fit in corporate?  Running to the copy machine and back?  Tossing useless paperwork on a desk with enough force to cause a minor quake?

Been there done that useless Office Space gig


I’ve held a number of jobs throughout the years including working in HR before taking an administrative position that got my foot in the door and in line for becoming a technical consultant.  

With being a tech writer a brilliant segue.

When my boss told me I only got a 2% raise in spite of an outstanding performance review and doing way more than what was in my job classification – because of my job classification?  I asked her what I needed to do to change the classification so it reflected what I did.

So I would get appropriate compensation.

Years and a hell of a lot of hard work including – I kid you not – 80 hour workweeks – later – I succeeded.

How the heck do you get that translated into a website presence?

Not even considering the Destination Unknown topic…or Metatron’s Army

Ahhhhh the Dude…

So – at the top of the White Board…

As I wrote in the blog post for I needed to sort a few things out before deciding how I would proceed with this part of the web presence.

Talked it over with someone the other night to make sure I wasn’t missing anything in my logic.

While that alone could have fulfilled my definition of having accomplished something I needed more.

This is me.

I added the two songs – of which the Nirvana one is one – then listened thinking maybe I would be inspired to get to Hollow Shelter.

Kind of knew better but it was worth a try…

And then I saw those orange sticky notes.  Not ready to throw in the towel and work on that blog post I considered the chaos in front of me

Chaos I can easily sort out since it would only be chaos to the untrained – aka not a writer – eye.

Not ready to move on because I had unfinished business of a creative and thus esoteric nature I took time to have a conversation with a friend about lessons learned from emptying the damn basket.

That landed me in other people’s cesspits

For months

Damn it…

As I was wrapping up the 15 minute conversation I smiled because I knew everything was as it should be.

Even if I could have done without the doo-doo bath.

The previous 24 hours showed me the creative process I’ve employed throughout my life – serious multi-tasking** combined with ignoring idiots – is working beautifully.

Ignoring Idiots?

I’ll give two examples

I was 8

I was never a fan of cooked spinach.

I like it now.

One evening when I was in 3rd grade my mom served a side of it.  I ate everything on the plate but the spinach.  Dad was not impressed.

I didn’t care.

I looked at my mom and asked why she made it if she knew we didn’t like it.

She is not the idiot here. She told me it was nutritious and even Popeye liked it.

My younger brother’s answer

He was watching – likely taking notes what not to do

Smother everything in ketchup and swallow it down.

I didn’t like catsup at that point.

Yes I spelled it differently on purpose…

My dad started riding me about it. I told him “I eat tons of vegetables including lima beans and brussels sprouts.”

Wasn’t that good enough? I mean come on – brussels sprouts? LIMA BEANS?

  “I won’t eat spinach and you can’t make me.”

Oooh challenging someone who hasn’t quite figured out I was dead serious.

Initially amused he quickly realized I was.  

I wonder if it was my mom’s expression of “What are you going to do now and oh by the way I need to deal with this all the time” ?

I wasn’t going to eat that glop on the plate.

He tried guilt.

“There are kids starving somewhere…”

Having heard the same from nuns who stole my lunch money to give to kids in some other country when – my family was super poor – I needed that milk

Aka -I wasn’t impressed – and told him so.

After he quit yelling at my mom because the nuns were taking my lunch money to give it to something called pagan babies he pointed and told me to eat.


He then threatened to send me to my room.

Never threaten a creative

Picking up my glass of milk I said “With pleasure!” as I dumped it on my plate, stood up and went to my room where I proceeded to write a story.

Acting it out as – being a kid – I wasn’t afraid of playing house.

I don’t know if my dad was disgusted with me for not caring, for the fact guilt didn’t work when it probably had with him when he was in Catholic school, or that he couldn’t throttle me without risk of killing me

As he almost did with my mother once-upon-a-time

thus idiot…

All I know is he yanked open the door and ordered me to leave the house and get lost somewhere he didn’t have to see me.

Typical night…

I was 26

Up Front

I need to reiterate my path through life has been unconventional.


Something certain managers in the Corporate Black Hole years didn’t seem to grasp.

At one point along the path of working for a company that had 145K employees when I started and 39 when I quit a manager advised me to take a roll on a project.

A project I knew from a guy who was on it – a guy I was dating – was going up in flames.

I already had a job in California though I hadn’t yet enlightened him.  Knowing not to burn bridges I smiled 

Can’t say it wasn’t an evil smile

I told him that I was looking to the future

Hey – I had a life vest

I gave him a number of examples only some of which had been supplied by the guy I was dating – unbeknownst to the manager – as to why this project was the Titanic

He pointed to the door and yelled at me to get out

With pleasure

Which I did – to California

It was a huge promotion complete with increased responsibilities and – finally – compensation

Riding the Writing Waves

Aka as I was writing this afternoon

After lunch while listening to Nirvana

Feeling the energy going into the post I got the image of waves and my own self riding them

Bobbing in the Creative waters

Warm waters of love that won’t let you drown

Just another facet of my creative stamp on the world

Serious Multi-tasking?

Dead serious

** I grew up in a family where Sunday dinners at Grandma’s house involved at least 30 people

Usually 50 or more

Multiple generations not all of whom were family but all deserving of Highland Hospitality

My maternal grandpa’s words for “There’s always room for one more/there’s always someone worse off than you.”

I needed to keep on my toes to maintain all those conversations while holding babies – at 8 years of age – and helping 4 and 5 year-old younger cousins get food to give their parents a break while answering adult questions – including from people in from out of town who were 2 and 3 generations removed

I was told to respect them even if I had no idea who they were and thought they wore too much perfume/cologne and dressed funny.

Well, except for the ones who had the good sense to show up in a kilt.

Questions Questions – from Strangers

Was I doing well in school?


Was I obeying the nuns?

You’re kidding right?

How do you express that on a website?

Even two


As I sat down to dinner last night my mind kept wandering to the draft I’d turned over to the beta reader.

I wasn’t happy with it.

As writers know there’s always more to write, always more to edit, but this was different.

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

For days I’d debated whether or not to include the Remedies Section from previous EMF work.  

There were benefits to each scenario.

The version I gave to the beta reader did not have the section included.

My logic was that I was providing an update.  Go forward.

It felt wrong.

I felt as if I’d done the minimum which left me really unhappy.

I went back through today and reedited the entire work including adding the Remedies section, complete with updates reflective of 10 years’ knowledge and experience.

I just turned the finished work over to the beta reader and I’m happy to say I’m happy.

It’s now reflective of my best effort.

I can’t ask more of myself than that.

Volume 1 of Under Siege: Tools and Strategies for Dealing with the Pillars of EMF Sensitivity will be available for purchase by or before the end of July 2022.

Stay tuned.

Bonus: The following is from the conclusion:

This work can also help others who seek to understand what the big deal is and to see that those who are suffering are not hypochondriacs.  They are in pain and need relief.  Perhaps this work can serve as a bridge to help bring solutions if not compassion and understanding for those on the journey of EMF Sensitivity.


I was sitting on my porch the other night admiring the gradient changes in a twilight sky and thinking how lucky I was to have such a view.  I took a deep breath appreciating the ability to breathe clean air when I was hit with the realzation I was living a wish fulfilled.  Though I’ve had a number of manifestation successes in my life, this one is interesting in that

  • I made the wish when I was 7
  • I shared the wish with someone who immediately told me how impractical it was
  • I forgot about it
  • I never did one conscious thing to make it happen

Origin of a Wish

When I was a kid we lived about 11 miles as the crow flies from the River Rouge plant.  Each summer we would go camping on Lake Huron.

We genereally went to the Oscoda area but sometimes we’d go further north.

One of my favorite things to do was stand on the beach at evening twilight and stare up at a sky filled with stars.

A number of factors including light pollution meant this wasn’t possible at home.

I also loved walking through the woods with my dad.

I love trees and the fresh air was wonderful.

The summer I was 7 I told my dad it would be cool to live up north.

So we could enjoy beautiful twilight skies and fresh air all year long.

He told me it wasn’t practical.

Because of the economy.

He explained that a tourist economy meant those living in that area faced a lot of financial adversity.

I didn’t need to hear any more.

We were already poor.

I let go of the wish.

Though not the desire to have the benefits of the wish, beautiful twilight skies and fresh air to breathe.

This morning as I again considered the irony of this particular wish fulfilled I came to realze a number of my manifestation successes have something in common.  They almost always start with a specific phrase.

Wouldn’t It Be Cool?

In high school I went with a friend to see Desperately Seeking Susan.  As I sat in the theatre watching the scene where Aidan Quinn and Rosanna Arquette  are on the roof of the loft talking I thought Wouldn’t it be cool to live in a loft in an urban area like that?

It was a fleeting thought.

Though one I repeated – out loud – several years later to a different friend while we were watching the movie on cable.

Other than the brief repeat I didn’t give it any more thought.

I did nothing to make it happen.

Approximately ten years later I found myself living that life not because I consciously set my sights to living in an urban loft but because it just unfolded that way.

Even then I knew something was up.

Too much of a coincidence as it was too close to my high school vision.

By the time we were living in Fort Collins, Colorado I’d figured out that every time I uttered those words…Wouldn’t it Be Cool?  I got the wish.

Just one problem.

It can’t be forced!

Manifestation gurus would likely explain the process – saying Wouldn’t it be cool? then letting it go – is the detachment necessary to bring something to be and they’d be right.  Unfortunately, I can’t force the detachment.  When it comes to my successes using this phrase?  Every time I’ve uttered those words it was done with a negligent shrug.  

There was no emotional attachment to an outcome.

To this day I am unable to fake the detachment.

I can say the words but my unconscious mind is smart.  It knows when I’m saying the words but failing in the detachment part.

Fortunately, I’ve a number of other options for manifestation.  Given the unique nature of the success stories I will include them here.

So others can give them a try if they wish.

The Ideal Scene

In 1996 during a challenging part of my life  I bought Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization Workbook.

I’d never heard of visualization or manifestation.

The book was on a table at the front of Border’s Books where I’d gone to find something to distract myself from my troubles.

Though I diligently completed each exercise it was The Ideal Scene I was most intrigued by.

Maybe because I’m a writer?

I wrote out details for my ideal relationship, following the rules about not being too specific yet putting in details that were important.  Then I put the book aside.

Never looked at it again.

Several years later while unpacking a box in the living room of our Downtown San Francisco loft I pulled out the workbook.

I’d forgotten about it.

I’d packed it in a box of books and other items I’d been moving around the country.

As I read what I wrote – in pencil – in The Ideal Scene – I got a big smile.  I’d married the man I wrote as being ideal for me.

The way I described him in that letter was more or less a perfect match for how I would have described him that day.

Encouraged by the success I used that technique to manifest the house we bought after the loft and while I was again successful I learned a big lesson.

Be exact in your wording.

When writing the Ideal Scene about the house I wanted for our family I described the number of rooms and bathrooms – that it had wood floors and a fireplace – the yard, nice neighbors, safe, etc. and yes I got everything exact.  What was missing?  I didn’t put in the style of house.

I would have preferred something other than a ranch.

Alas, this is another method that is apparently tied to detachment.

A detachment I can’t fake.

I let go of that particular process for manifesting when we were living in Fort Collins.

A Picture Worth a 1000 Words

We were living in Scottsdale and trying to determine our next move.

We always knew it would be a temporary place where we could regroup after the horrific fallout from the EMF Sensitivity nightmare.

We could move pretty much anywhere we wanted.

We were split between New England and So Cal.

We had a number of options before us.  

Too many options.

After months of attempting to come to a decision I decided to shove the location question aside and focus instead on the type of dwelling I wanted.  One thing was clear.  I desperately missed living in a city.

I couldn’t stand living in a suburb – something I’d never experienced growing up.

Stupid HOA rules and incredible boredom.

I found a cool picture of a couple dancing in their urban loft.

It was an advertisement for the building.

Uncertain of a location at this point I also cut out a picture of a cool house.

It was a view of part of the inside.

Completely different it had a bit of a New England fishing town vibe.

Time passed and we eventually decided on So Cal, moving to an urban loft after touring the gorgeous housing area to the north left me feeling nauseated.

I explained to Aaron my heart would always be in Downtown San Diego.

I needed the freedom and energy of the urban life.

Memories of subdivisions and HOA stuff left me feeling ill.

And then…

Eventually thanks to the twists and turns so common in my life I found myself in the Pacific Northwest.  One afternoon while at my desk I looked up to realize I was looking at the other photo from Scottsdale.

Everything was exact, including the color of paint on the wall.

A color that was here when we moved in.

What stood out about this particular manifestation success is that I didn’t consciously create it.

I didn’t consciously create either one of the options yet got both.

I’d been torn between the two to the degree I got pictures of each and though they were on my desk in AZ, I put them out of my mind.

I see the connection in all of these successes is detachment.  What’s interesting is that the detachment happened differently in each case.

Showing there’s more than one way to skin a wish.

In concluding I will list my favorite books on manifesting.

They light my optimism when I’m feeling down or stuck in neutral.