Valentine’s Thank You

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Just taking time to wish readers and visitors a Happy Valentine’s Day and to thank you for all the wonderful support you’ve given over the years.

I feel very fortunate to have had lifelong support for my dream of being a novelist

  • Family

Especially my parents and grandparents

  • Neighbors

Who encouraged my love of reading as well as writing and were ready to discuss books 

  • Teachers

Math and science teachers who took time to discuss universal what-ifs? and others who advised me on how to do proper research or just gave encouragement 

  • Classmates

Including those who weren’t close friends but who were quick with an encouraging word

  • Coworkers 

Some of whom were also aspiring writers and who never tired of listening to me talk of my dream

  • Readers

Without whom this wouldn’t be possible

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Elizabeth

Project Update

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Hello everyone!  Wanted to provide a quick update on various projects.

After much consideration I’ve decided to decomission Metatron’s Army.  

For details including an audio message from me, click here.

I will be releasing new material in both my Dragon Core and Port Gallatan series.

I’m excited about the new projects and anticipate new material being available by or before autumn.

Stay tuned!

Manifesting 101: Feelings

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As I sat down  for a working lunch – having just arranged my laptop and other related tools –  I spared a moment to ponder a familiar feeling .  What makes it noteworthy is it’s a feeling I haven’t experienced in some time.

In a locale over a thousand miles away.

As I pondered further I considered I was finally getting a concept related to more recent treatise on manifesting

Drawing on emotion to enhance efforts.

The idea is that if you can “refeel” positive emotions it will put you in a frame of being that will draw a goal that elicits – once achieved – an equally positive one.  There’s a catch.

Manifesting in Reverse?

Confusion quickly set in because the feeling – good as it is – isn’t one I associate with this geography.

Yes the location I’m working at has a good vibe but it’s a far cry in numerous ways from the other locale.

One thing I can’t argue with is the fact I really was feeling the feeling from years ago in a place far away.  

It dawned on me:  What I wanted – was trying to manifest – was what I got.

That wonderful feeling.

As opposed to the location.

I didn’t see the difference bbefore now ecause I associated the feeling with a specific location and it’s a feeling I haven’t experienced anywhere else. prior to recent times

So recent I didn’t even put two and two together until today.

I always assumed it was a feeling unique to the far away locale

Especially given each and every time I visit the feeling returns – pretty instantaneously.

Quickly reviewing the manifestation goal tied to this feeling I realized I really had – perhaps unconsciously – fixated on a feeling rather than an image of the location associated with the feeling.  

Something to Work With

So says the Universe

It made me realize I got what I was trying to manifest.

A feeling associated with a time and a place.

What You Wish For

Doesn’t that suggest I really wanted the location associated with the feeling?

Maybe – but…

I can apply all sorts of hindsight as to why it’s better I didn’t get that place.  In the end?  I now understand – taking all factors into consideration – the Universe- in its infinite wisdom – works perfectly to help you achieve your goals if you zero in on the specific why – emotionally – you want it.

Bonus:  The Universe only responds to positive emotions and works for the best outcome for all involved.

You don’t have to worry about the details.

Revel in the feeling.

Your goals await.

Manifesting 101: Details Shmetails

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I’ve recently been working on a writing project increasing in complexity as I make progress.

Not great.

Even with encouragement from the Universe – in the form of articles validating scientific principles woven into the fictional storyline – the project itself has started tying me up in knots.  

The Cursed Hows

To put in context I need to go back to 2013.

To Arizona.

We were at a crossroads.

Renting month to month while deciding whether to go east or west.

I was fortunate to discover the work of Mike Dooley who introduced me to the concept of the cursed hows.

Long story short he framed the idea that while it’s natural for some if not most of us to be planners when it comes to manifesting goals we have an opportunity to seriously reduce stress if we don’t worry about how it’s going to happen.

No need to know the details – just trust that it will.

Letting Go

Which circles back to faith and confidence in manifesting – a challenge I’ve had.

I’m a planner.  I needed to know how it would happen so I could anticipate issues – cut them off at the pass.  

Um – ha ha.

After reading Mike’s take I was able to let go of the need to know which built confidence somehow it would happen – and I didn’t need to worry about the details

The cursed hows

Confidence

This led to faith that the same energy that worked numerous miracles in my life wasn’t going to screw up when it came to my goals.

Including not granting them when it was in my best interest.

I didn’t have a problem with the idea I deserved to achieve my goals – I just needed to know how it would happen.

Circling Back

To my current project.

For days I worried over how I was going to find the wherewithal to tackle a project that was a means to an ends.

It was energy intensive at a time I was coming out of severe burnout.  I didn’t want to slide backward.

After waking stressed 3 days in a row I told myself not to worry about it.

Note: I had confidence in the project. 

It’s a project of the soul. That wasn’t the issue…

I assured myself – at 5:35am – “You’ll figure it out.”

That confidence came from reminding myself I’d published over 20 books, had been interviewed for my EMF Sensitivity work, and was comfortable in my skin as a writer.

It was while on a walk later that morning – still wondering how am I ever going to pull this off? – that rather than reminding myself I had what it takes I reminded myself I didn’t need to worry about the cursed hows. 

I told myself to keep on the path of what I was doing and any next steps that needed to happen would present themselves at the appropriate time.

An Odd Thing

For me.

Maybe it was deciding to live a philosophy understood on paper but suddenly I was lighter of heart.

Confident somehow it would all work out.

What I did know was that I now had the energy to take the next step confident whatever I needed to do next would just be there.

Somehow.

I didn’t need to worry about it.

The Universe would guide me.

Feeling better I finished my walk and got back to work.

The Universe Confirms

Plugging into my morning routine I was half-astounded half-amused to find a thumbs up from the Universe had come into my sphere of awareness.

Timing – like Perspective – is Everything.

Unlike the other messages this one spoke to the philosophical methodology I was just coming to embrace.

A methodology that had been an Achilles heel for decades.

Not a coincidence.

Sign Post or Post Note?

The experience allowed me to further release attachment to the process

Strengthened the idea it would all work out 

And wouldn’t you know solutions to various concerns began to appear

As if by magic

Manifesting 101: Encouragement or Distraction?

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I recently wrote that after deciding to take on a project of some magnitude I began getting messages that could be – and were – considered encouragement from the Universe.  

Each time I felt overwhelmed by the project one of these messages of encouragement would find its way into my awareness.

Life Validating Art?

The articles – scientific in nature – share a theme:  Science is proving what I’ve written about – in fiction.

Coincidence or Not?

Not.

The fiction was simply a way for me to incorporate scientific principles I’d long believed.  The principles existed – in the world of theoretical physics but I wrote the fiction long before I was able to study the principles.

High school teaches classical physics. You generally need to go to college before you can study – in-depth – theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, and associated principles.

I’m finding it a bit of an emotional tangle to see my theories – blended into my fiction – validated by science.

Especially as it’s now availble to the public not just those studying in college.

Bread Crumbs or Distraction?

Each time I felt overwhelmed another piece of the scientific puzzle came across my sphere of awareness.

Another scientific article would be available.

There was a randomness to it all in that some of the pieces would appear in my Apple News feed but be from a magazine I’d never heard of. Others an article on a news site I visit such as the LA or London Times.

One was even in the Wall Street Journal!

As I continued with the project I began to wonder if in writing the themes into the tale I hadn’t been trying to tell myself something.

A suspicion strengthened with every scientific article that appeared.

The suspicion became a distraction as I considered that even in high school – when I wove the tale – I was trying to help myself solve a mystery.

One regarding parallel universes perhaps?

Because I wrote these beliefs into a fiction tale years before I was able to study them in-depth is introducing complexity. It’sn opportunity to explore the principles but it’s also a distraction of epic proportions.

Then and now.

In high school I was constantly challenging math and science teachers on the flaws in what was being taught.  

Classical physics fails to address principles of and associated with quantum physics.

Fortunately, most of my teachers were willing to spare the time – so long as I didn’t bring it up during class – to discuss my theories and hypotheses.

I will forever be grateful to my physics and pre-calc teachers for giving me their time and sharing their beliefs which dovetailed mine beautifully.

And for the patience of my geometry teacher who wasn’t willing to stretch herself but didn’t take it out on my grade.

College was a different story and I happily engaged and sparred with professors – including a music TA – on the world beyond classical physics.

I was also extremely fortunate to intern for Stanley Ovshinsky during which I had many conversations about my theories with he and some of his top researchers.

After which he gave me access to various journals in his scientific library.

And Now?

The science underpinning the story is again becoming a distraction.  While I’m thrilled to see my theories validated, rather than serving as encouragement I’m starting to find the information pulling me away from the project by tempting me to do more research.

And ever more research which means I’ll never get the project finished.

Interpreting Interpreting.

On a philosophical level one could say that perhaps that is what the message is; not that I’m receiving encouragement through validation but that the Universe is nudging me back into research.

Only time will tell.

Stay tuned.

Note:  The latest article to tempt me away from a project that is mentally intense can be found here.

Manifesting 101: Encouragement

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There’s a theory in the world of manifesting efforts that when you put your intention out to the universe and back it up with action aligned with the intention the universe conspires to help you achieve your goal.  While I subscribed to this concept in theory I am now a firm believer.

What are the Chances?

Before I elaborate I’d like to point out that I’m a big Doubting Thomas.  Even after all the amazing experiences I’ve had 

Coincidences I like to call synchronicities 

I withhold judgment until I consider a number of angles, the most important – for me – being What is the statistical likelihood?

What are the chances this exact thing came at the exact moment I needed to see/hear/experience it?

I’m aware of the Reticular Activating System.  I’m not referring to this phenomenon.

I’m talking about examples of the universe conspiring to help me on the path to a goal by providing messages that either help me know I’m on the right path or provide a morale boost when I’m having a tough time continuing.

The encouragement I need when I need it.

It’s About Time

A significant component to the What Are The Chances? test has to do with timing.  What is it about the timing of the message that makes me feel it’s special?  I use this as one of the bigger markers testing validity because it’s likely the same information given at a different time would not be helpful.

Maybe not even acknowledged.

The example I’m about to share is timely indeed.

To provide a bit of context I’ll share that for as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated by the concept of time.  In particular

  • Time travel
  • Multiple universes in which things turned out differently because decisions made at a point in time were different (i.e. turn left instead of right)

I’ve explored these ideas academically

I’ve had numerous amazing conversations with my physics and math teachers and professors

I’ve explored them through research

Hours in the science library at Stanford while researching for my doctoral thesis

I’ve explored them through my own works

Both fiction and non.

And Now?

I’ve been working on a project that’s turning into quite the time and energy sink.  

To the degree it’s taking a toll.  

Given I’m healing from severe burnout I had to take a long look at what I was doing through the lens of Is this really worth it?

As of last night I was having serious doubts.

While watching something to take my mind off my troubles I thought back to basics.  

So much for taking my mind off things.

If it was meant to be it will happen.  If not, it wasn’t meant to be.

A good maxim to remember when undertaking any manifestation project.

 I sent a mental message to God asking for a sign that would tell me if I should keep going.

I do not want to go back to the land of burnout.

 I went to bed confident at some point in the near future I’d have my answer.  

Jose Silva developed tools to address the concept of feedback from the Universe. Two that come to mind are the Glass of Water Technique and the Video Technique.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

There is an amazing story in Lynn McTaggart’s The Intention Experiments about researchers affecting the past in a positive way.

Has to do with affecting a health outcome before a procedure took place – by praying about it years after it took place.

It’s just one of many examples of the effect of time on manifesting intentions found in her book.

It’s possible that though I hadn’t yet made the request for some sort of validation as to whether I should continue on the project the universe was aware it was coming and was ahead of the game.  I say this because the first message came before I was having any doubts.

The first message came in the form of an article about how our brains are connected to the Universe.  Specifically, our awareness of this connection.

It’s a concept I’ve covered in fiction and nonfiction work.

From the Popular Mechanics Article:  …when you have a heightened state of consciousness, Hameroff explains, it’s because you’re dealing with quantum-level consciousness that is capable of being in all places at the same time. That means your consciousness can connect or entangle with quantum particles outside of your brain—anywhere in the universe, theoretically.

Unfortunately, this piece is subscription only. I couldn’t find it captured elsewhere to share.

When I read the article I was still excited about the project.

I hadn’t gotten to the point of doubt.

This morning when I saw another article that fit perfectly with the project I came to see both were messages from the Universe encouraging me to keep going. I felt the encouragement and after being stunned by the coincidence of it felt better about the project.

The second article?  That time runs forward and backward in materials.

I’ve long felt time is not linear and that it ran in both directions.

Another theme found in my writing.

Wow!

To see science catching up with concepts I’ve known instinctively since childhood is pretty cool.  It’s also something I had to wrap my head around.

It’s quite a feeling to see something you’ve felt to be true –  something you’ve believed – find veracity through science

Like Perspective, Timing is Everything

It isn’t just seeing the science behind the instinctive knowledge it’s the timing – learning of it.  That each article is entwined with my project?  Not a coincidence.

Exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.

A beautiful perfect thumbs up from the Universe.

When Art Influences Art

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As I edit through the filter of my voice I smile.

The source of inspiration coming to mind in vivid color. 

I don’t know if this is because I have a photographic memory or if all creators vividly remember the inspiration that led to artistic release.

Consumable output.

In my case more often than not it’s a visual – an image – that inspires the written word.

Case In Point

From Bishop Pair

She had to admit, she was intrigued.  Senior cadets carried side arms that looked nothing like what she’d seen on Earth.  They also didn’t look like anything from any science fiction movie she’d ever seen.  They were much smaller and sleek in design.  Of course, she’d never seen one in use so she had no idea how they worked or performed but the confidence with which the senior cadets carried themselves left her guessing the weapons worked as they were meant.  To protect.

How I worded this was inspired by a visual from Patriot Games.

This scene – having been to Anapolis as well as the Citadel – translated in unique ways that allowed me to visualize military students through the eyes of one of their newest cadets.

Each time I read this scene images associated with the influence appear on what Jose Silva calls the mental screen.

The mind’s eye.

Life

When art influences art.

To Find Your Voice Ignore the Rules

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I’ve known I wanted to be a writer since I was 3.  What I didn’t know was the convoluted path it would take.  Even as I was praised as a storyteller, winning fiction writing awards beginning at 6 of years age, I was getting pushback, the harshest coming from a woman of influence – my paternal grandmother.

I now understand she was putting the burden of her need to live in reflected glory/accomplishment on my young shoulders.

My education drove very strict grammatical rules into my head.

Most of which didn’t and still doesn’t apply to published works.

I excelled.

Was reading college level at age 7 – tested 99th percentile in the country – qualified for the new Mensa for children program.

All of which did little to help with my dream of becoming a published storyteller.

Arbitrare This!

Oh – is arbitrare a word?

Fast Forward through a successful multi-decade career in tech to 2003.

Enter Fate!

A merger from hell led me to know that if it was ever going to be –

The Time to Write is Now!

I’d wanted this for as long as I could remember and yes – I remember being 3 and giving my mom a poem I’d written [to her] in gold crayon on a red construction paper heart I cut myself and declaring I was going to be a writer.

Yeah but

Back to 2003

Even as I was working to publish Kerry’s Game – I was working on a doctoral thesis in holstic medicine.

Another passion.

This necessitated I not only spend hours in the scary basement of the science library at Stanford

Hey – it’s dark and creepy in that corner!

It required I purchase a book on the accepted writing style and grammer for a doctoral thesis.

My Masters’ thesis didn’t require this.

Detour Ahead!

My literary plans were derailed by Fate when an adjunct professor who read my thesis encouraged me to turn it into a book.

Which I did.

And detoured further via EMF Sensitivity which led me to publish nonfiction first.

I had multiple individuals begging me to give them unfinished work which I refused to do – on ethical grounds among other reasons; as in it wasn’t finished.

Skipping around a bit – including the impact of Smashwords on the industry …

Once I  published and subsequently dealt with the fallout of that lifetime achievement award I returned to my original dream.

Published storyteller.

I invested in my dream.

Time and money.  LOTS of money

Classes and conferences and more time.  

I ran into rather interesting challenges.

No one told me not to quit my dayjob. Quite the opposite.

I received a hand-written letter from an editor at Tor-Forge explaining their slots for a particular paranormal fiction angle were currently filled and inviting me to submit more of my work for consideration.  

Aspiring published writer gold.

Fate intervened

Beyond the scope of this article.  

Then intervened again.

Cue Mark Coker founder of Smashwords.

The man who upended the industry I was just breaking into had watched his wife suffer the hoops of fire aspiring novelists are put through and decided to do something about it.

For details visit his site.

By the time I was listening to him speak at a conference in Anaheim I was self-pubished and on my way to a flourishing writing career.

My dream.

I didn’t feel an imposter.  That didn’t mean I wasn’t ill at ease. 

I was writing by someone else’s rules and the vernacular that went with those rules. I hadn’t found my voice.

Full Circle

It was while reading one of my favorite books [I’d written] that it came to me. I’d written my stories as if I was working for the Big 5 when I wasn’t!

Their rules. Their voice.

Smiling from the Aha! moment I began editing with the warm feeling of someone who has found their voice!

I can finally write as me as opposed to a representative of a corporate standards list.

Stay tuned!

Brief Update

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Hello all!  

Haven’t fallen off the earth. 

Working on a few projects – will provide an update soon – but for the moment I can say that one of the more difficult aspects of being a published author is editing something published years back without judging.

You have to keep reminding yourself it was your best work given information and experience at the time.

I’ve spent the winter months working as the seed beneath hard frost has been working and will soon be ready to share my growth.

Includes

  • Manifestation findings
  • New Projects

Stay tuned.

Music: The Food of Love

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Life can be so weird.

Eating lunch and reading The Isle of Future Past, a Dragon Core novel. 

And smirking as I note how easily I’m taken back to various moments of fingers to keyboard for this story.

It’s as if I slip inside my former “writing” self to feel see understand everything felt, seen, and understood at the exact moment I typed the scene.

What’s in a Name?

More than you might think.

For this particular reflection I’ll point out that for me one of the more challenging aspects of the novel is coming up with character names.

First names, surnames, nicknames.

Scenes and character characteristics are easy. 

Say that ten times real fast.

 Imagery of both flow into my consciousness, sometimes before the plot does.

As happened with the Hangover Series.

What stirred this hoopla of cognizance?

Anika.

What’s in a Name?  Seriously?  A lot!

While Anika is a common enough name in certain circles it never was in mine.  

So, where did it come from?

Transitions and the Band.

There came a time when my parents separated.  

My mom, brother, and I moved into a rental townhouse in an incredible school district.  Across from an auto factory it was – I learned from new classmates – the place where the poor people lived.

Wasn’t that kind of them to clue me in?

As I played b-flat clarinet I was more than happy to join the band.

Where along with the other musicians I could tune out life.

So, Anika?

We were a pretty small band.  What I noted immediately, other than the fact we were crammed – an obvious junior high afterthought – into a tiny room barely bigger than a storage closet…

Looking back I suspect it was a storage closet.

was that we had a saxophone player who was a female!

I started band in 4th grade playing drums but the nuns were adamant girls didn’t play drums and went on the war path until I capitulated and switched to clarinet.

I’d wanted to play saxophone after coming to physical exhaustion fighting the nuns but apparently that too was sacrilege and such is how I ended up – thanks to help from my dad – playing b-flat clarinet.

Emotionally and physically exhausted – and a bit heartbroken about not being able to play drums – I was ready to quit band altogether.  Upon hearing this my dad who’d won awards playing piano and who played drums zipped out that night to a music store and brought home a clarinet he put together and handed to me to give a try.

No Nuns But Same BS

Though a public school our conductor was less than enthusiastic about a girl who played saxophone.

When she refused to switch to clarinet or flute like the rest of us girls he tried dissuading her by putting her in the percussion section instead of with the woodwinds.

I will never forget that chin thrust out in defiance even as she was drowned out by the percussionists that included the lone brass player.

Or how succinctly she told him off for doing so.

Her name?

Danika.

I wanted to honor her spirit but didn’t feel comfortable using her name.

Go figure.

Each and every time I read the name Anika in my story I’m taken back to that day and that woman’s spirit

Being different and made to be an outcast not by our self but by someone else’s choice.

A spirit that helped me through a challenging time in my own life; a challenge she had no idea I was going through.

She was like a prickly cactus. We never got to be friends.

It’s a good memory because I still remember her telling him it was a load of shit putting her with the drums and a tuba so she couldn’t be heard.

Note:  I don’t feel I let myself down switching.  I weighed the reality of what I was dealing with and decided my dad’s advice – given years earlier when the nuns were calling me the devil’s child for being left-handed and threatening me if I didn’t switch to right – to pick and choose my battles – was best

My ambidextrous self approves.

After 13 years playing clarinet including Tchaikovsky in orchestra I took up piano and – for a very short time as balm for my soul –  tenor sax. Today I prefer to listen to music than play.

Expressing my creativity with the written word.