Manifesting 101: The Written Word

Note:  Longer post but instructional in methods of achieving/manifesting goals.

What’s worked and what hasn’t – and why.

Catch Phrase:  It Works.

I didn’t come up with this title that simplistically yet perfectly illustrates the truth that writing goals down increases the likelihood they’ll be achieved.  

Someone long ago did us the favor.

The publication that bears the title outlines one of multiple methods I’ve utilized throughout the years to help me achieve goals.

Successfully.

What’s relevant is what the various methods I’ve used – successfully – have in common.

The written word.

But first, a little perspective.

Aka a little history.

Speak, See, Write.

Speak

The power of prayer.

My initial education – so far as I can remember – to an action that could help achieve goals – came in second grade.

When I was 7.

The nun explained God could help us achieve goals if we prayed to Him and told Him what we wanted.

She also explained we could ask – not pray to – our guardian angel for the same purpose, which only served to confuse the heck out of me.

Not to mention the confusion of praying to Mary for intercession through God or Jesus.

This method produced mixed results.

No wonder given all the confusion.

I didn’t dare ask for clarification lest the woman grab me by the arm, sink her nails into me, and shake me within an inch of my life.

And slapping me for daring to ask.

Such was the life of my early education.

Isn’t that special?

I asked my father who’d somehow survived 12 years of Catholic school – and some Catholic college to boot – to explain.  Unfortunately, his answer only served to deepen the confusion.

He prayed to the Holy Spirit.

He did his best to explain the holy trilogy but it didn’t settle matters.

I set it aside.

See

The power of visualization.

In spite of the confusion about prayer I never stopped speaking to God.

I was more than happy to frame the reference as Universe if/when appropriate.

During a particularly challenging part of my life…

Toxic Corporate Soup years

I asked God for help.

A big believer in the Midwest work ethic I asked to be pointed in the right direction after which I would be happy to do whatever work I needed to do.

Borders to the Rescue.

Next thing I know I’m at Borders Bookstore in Birmingham, Michigan.

I had a sudden strong urge to go to the one on Woodward.  

I walked in the door and mentally said “Okay, God.  I’m here.  What do You want me to see?”

I was led to a section and when I got there a book fell off the shelf onto the floor at my feet.

This kind of stuff has happened to me my entire life.  I’m always geeked about it but not surprised; nor are those who’ve spent any time around me.

It was Robert Stone’s Celestial 911.

But Wait!  There’s More!

I was inspired to drive to the other Borders.

Southfield.

Walking in I repeated the “What do you want me to see?” sentiment.

Mentally. 

After a fruitless search I was on my way out when something had me stop at the table of books parked near the door.  One book – a workbook – grabbed my attention.

Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization Workbook.

I bought it along with Mark Fisher’s The Instant Millionaire and left.

I dutifully followed the steps in Shakti’s workbook.

Cut out images, imagined the pink bubble sent out to the universe, and wrote – in pencil – my Ideal Scene.

At that time it was for a romantic partner.  

The image exercise was for a successful writing career.

Life intervenes.

My tech consulting career took off with incredible speed chaos and success.

Notice I didn’t say writing career?  Or romantic partner goal?

Write

The power of the written word.

In 1998 – engaged to the man who was the result of the one written exercise I’d completed – I reread Mark Fisher’s book.

Aaron and I had plans.

Believe it or not it didn’t occur to me that I’d successfully achieved a goal through writing.

As per Shakti’s comments I’d put the workbook with my Ideal Scene – written in pencil – in a box I hadn’t opened in 3 years.

I dutifully followed the instructions outlined in the millionaire’s fable but got less than stellar results.

More on that in a minute.

Intrigued by the concept of writing goals down to increase the chances of achieving them I went back to Borders – Ann Arbor this time – and found Write It Down Make it Happen.

Life Intervenes.

Aka chaos.

A wedding, sale of a house, new job across the country and incredible cultural and lifestyle changes later…

My efforts were lost in the chaos sauce for some time.

Until…

I opened a box to find Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization Workbook.  Pulling it out I thumbed through, noting the images I’d cut from magazines were now a parody of a lifelong desire to be a successful writer.

A parody that cut deep.

I was a technical consultant successful enough Hewlett-Packard relocated me across the country but not the published author I’d worked one of the exercises for.

Ideal Scene.

Nailing the goal.

As I read what I’d written in the Ideal Scene my jaw dropped.  I was married to a man who fit the description/scene I’d written exactly!

In every aspect! 

In the years since I’ve tried various methods of writing goals down.

With various levels of success.

My success stories are so exact as to defy chance.

Yes, I am acquainted with the scientific method.

Sooooooo…

The good stuff right?

What Works?  What Doesn’t?

The method I’ve had uncanny success with is writing out the Ideal Scene.

Uncanny as in getting everything I wrote out in the scene.

The Catch.

I can’t speak for the universe but I have a feeling you can write details til the cows come home – something I’ve seen in Pleasanton, California mind you – but if you aren’t meant to have something, you ain’t gettin’ it.

That being said, in my experience, you get exactly what you write out.

No more, no less.

Example.  

When I used the Ideal Scene method to manifest our home in the SF Bay Area, I laid out the number of bedrooms, bathrooms, wood floors, a fireplace, nice neighbors, nice property, all sorts of goodies.  I did, however, leave out the style.

I ended up with a ranch instead of the Victorian style I had been imagining.

The method I’ve had some – admittedly – weird results with comes from It Works.

It works – but it’s weird.

Example.

My first brush with this method was a version of it in the book by Mark Fisher.

Didn’t work for me.

The next version came after reading It Works.

Didn’t work for me.

More recently and after reading – and trying – several variances of the written word – I came to see there are opposing nuances at work.

Arguments for and against.

A Note About Scripting.

Scripting is a more recent term for the Ideal Scene exercise.

With varying degrees of methodology as per the author.

I’ve personally found most of these newer versions emotionally exhausting.

I’m a writer so the mental part is okay.

That doesn’t mean they haven’t succeeded.

Or rather – one method has – but more on that in a minute.

From what I can tell my biggest mistake using the method outlined in It Works is that I did not consistently read the list.

As per instructions.

More recently while in the midst of the pain of burnout I went back to this simple method of listing goals.

Though the wording had been tweaked per a more updated book on the subject.

This time I dutifully read the list multiple times a day.

For months.

I achieved everything on the list.

Some of which I have zero explanation for as it just happened.

Here’s the thing.  I eventually stopped reading the list each day because the more I read it the more I realized I didn’t have what it was I wanted.  So I let it go.

For 2 – 3 months.

The goals were achieved anyway.

How?  No idea other than it seems to be a blend of the It Works method with Shakti’s Ideal Scene method.

Conclusions.

What worked – or didn’t – for me.

I can’t tell other people what will work for them.  I can simply share what worked for me.

As others have done for me, both verbally and by publishing their stories.

I can say achieving goals is a journey that may take you along paths you never knew existed.

And which there is no way in hell you would have gone down if you knew what would happen along the way.

My most recent success – and one of the more difficult goals as it was related to health and well-being – came after reconsidering Scripting due to reading The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need.

After reading Andrew’s book I decided to give Scripting another go.

Capitalized because of what a pain it was for me.

Day after day I dutifully performed the task though it was mentally and emotionally painful.

I did not have the resources to be doing it but I was desperate to feel better.

What helped was that I’d signed up for Andrew’s emails.

The right words at the right time.

But then they stopped.

No idea why.

I was tempted to contact him about it but decided it was a test from the universe.  How serious was I?

I continued Scripting.

No idea how I had the emotional and/or mental strength to do so.

Desperation?

All I know is one recent day I was walking and realized that what I’d Scripted – in detail – a la Ideal Scene – six months previously had come to pass.  What’s key is I’d needed a certain level of results within four months.

I achieved that goal.

I can say this much.  I am grateful for Andrew and the people who have given him their time to do videos and share stories.

The right details at the right time.

Understanding and Awareness.

It wasn’t one method so much as the right method at the right time.

An answer to a prayer.

Visualizations were provided by me.

My goals.

Be well!

Post Note: More on why the career goal was deayed in upcoming post.

New Project Gets Real

Note:  Humorous story at end of post

Happy to say that serendipity is with me today!  

For some time I’ve had an idea for a writing project wherein I share real-life experiences and perspectives.

To entertain and educate.

The format for such a project morphed frequently enough I held back rather than start it and have it end up a runaway horse I couldn’t keep up with.  To make matters worse I honestly felt this project would be the first step to reengaging with my writing.  However, until I had a better feel for the format I couldn’t begin.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

The Universe Steps In

I was sharing a story with a friend this morning – hoping it would take his mind off more serious matters – when it occurred to me that I had my answer!  

Change of Angle

In spite of worry for my friend’s situation being at ground zero for Storm Babet I found myself smiling at the memory I was sharing and in that moment realized there was definitely room for humor in this project.

It didn’t have to educate. It could just entertain.

Laugh at Life

God knows I have plenty of stories with varying degrees of humor to share.

Including dark humor.

Deciding that Sharing Perspective to Share Smiles was a worthy effort I have decided to launch the new project – Real Life – confident the pieces will fall into place as I go along.

Without further ado I will share the inaugural story that set this baby in motion.  

Enjoy!

Real Life: Corporate

Time:  Mid 90s

Place: Detroit Metro Area

Having just joined a new tech company I was given my choice of continuing to support an automotive OEM or auto suppliers.  As I’d spent the previous 8 years supporting GM I was more than happy to shake it up and go with supplier support.

As a technical consultant.

It was summer and GM along with many suppliers had their mandatory shutdown.

They do another shutdown in the winter, near Christmas.

This is actually a busy time for tech companies since it’s an ideal time to do upgrades.

No need to kick anyone off a project or worry about taking anything critical offline.

The sales rep and I headed to Flint to take advantage of the down time to do an upgrade.

This supplier happened to be internal, a GM plant in Flint.

Where Is Everybody?

Eerie is the word to describe what it felt like in that all but empty plant.

Like a sci-fi horror movie.

The IT area was a tiny space separated from the manufacturing plant by Visqueen strips hanging from the ceiling.  After I got over being mortified at the dust and grease threat to the servers I initiated a backup.

A must before an upgrade.

The data tape had barely started spinning when the entire place went dark.  

WTH?

Within moments red backup lights came on.

Terminator anyone?

Great Minds Rain on a Tech Parade

Turns out the power company had the same bright idea as I did.  With the shifts shut down it was an ideal time to do an upgrade to the power infrastructure serving the plant.  

Apparently, they had no idea anyone was working and didn’t think it a problem to not notify GM before shutting off all power to the plant.

Needless to say the upgrade didn’t happen until much much later but it wasn’t a total bust.  In addition to a fun tale to tell I got a nice lunch out of it.

Validating EMF Sensitivity Findings: Better Late Than Never

Four years after surgery for a brain bleed I began experiencing horrible migraines.  

Why now?  

Seemingly unrelated to the arterial rupture clamped with a titanium clip it was a puzzling, if miserable, period of my life.

The pain was not only intense it was unresponsive to any but narcotic strength medication.  Since I despised the way those medications made me feel it became a constant study in frustration as to how to relieve pain that drove me to my knees in tears.

While I searched for a non-narcotic solution I demanded the smallest dose of the other.

Cause and Effect: An Unwitting Introduction to EMF Sensitivity

  It was while discussing the periodic and debilitatingly painful episodes at a family gathering I got my first look – thanks to a savvy aunt – into what it meant to be EMF Sensitive.  

Atmospheric EMFs

My maternal grandmother was carefully questioning  me about the headaches in an effort to see if their was any pattern that would help us understand why they’d started out of the blue.  Sitting at the table was my Aunt Anne who said, “Your headaches are related to thunderstorms.”  

She figured out that approximately 48 hours after I got a migraine, a thunderstorm occurred. She also pointed out the pain resolved once the system moved out of the area.

We spent the next half hour trying to figure out what it was about the storms specifically that instigated the painful headaches and though no real conclusions were drawn my aunt was certain it was the lightning.

Electrical right?

Think Again

If that was the case then why did I feel so good while living in Florida in an area considered the lightning capital of the world?

I feel wonderful whenever I visit the state and it’s not just sunshine because I lived in sunny So Cal and I’ve lived in Phoenix yet did not have this same sense of physical well-being.

I did not get headaches while living in Florida.  

They started the spring after my family moved back to Michigan.

It wasn’t until 2011 – after years researching a phenomenon called EHS – what I called EMF Sensitivity – that I learned that atmospheric EMFs associated with storm systems are of the same ultra-low and very low EM frequencies that wreaked havoc with my health.

Which was why I was researching EMFs in the first place.

Understanding is Not a Cure

Knowing why I got horrible migraines 48 hours before a thunderstorm was all good and well but it didn’t offer any solution.

None of the remedies I had for my sensitivity to geologic and technologic EMFs worked for the atmospheric EMFs.  

Never Stop Learning

In subsequent years I gained incredible insight into EMF Sensitivity, including coming to understand the root cause and thus a cure.  I also discovered numerous remedies at all price points with no need for a doctor’s prescription.

I wanted remedies that were easily affordable and accessible to anyone.

I was thrilled to share my findings with the world through my release of Riding the Waves: Diagnosing, Treating, and Living with EMF Sensitivity.

As well as follow-up books on the subject.

While I’d made incredible progress and was living a relatively normal life, I was still struggling with migraines before thunderstorms.

Which were unfortunately all too common where I was living when I released Riding the Waves.

A Decade Later

It was while living in an area known for rain that I finally had a breakthrough.  

Rain Yes But…

Though we had our share of rain thunderstorms were a rarity where I was living.  This suggests it was something about atmospheric conditions tied to rain.  However…

I remembered living in Sunnyvale, California during a time when local rainfall broke records and not experiencing any migraines. Adding to the argument disputing the migraines being tied to rain was the fact I was getting the migraines during the summer too.

Pressure Drop

Research and a barometer purchase showed the migraines happened approximately 48 hours before a serious pressure drop. That they happened in the summer was due to the fact the pressure dropped as the temperature rose.  

I was able to determine the temperature had to rise sharply in a very short time for the pressure drop to induce a migraine.

Yeah, Okay, But…

I still had no way of treating the migraines and I refused to take narcotic medicine.

I’d had some luck with potassium supplements but it was not consistent.

As I document in Ignoring the Rules: An Intriguing Approach to Resolving Calcium Toxicity, I was able, through constant research, to determine the migraines were the result of the scar tissue – made up mostly of calcium – reacting to the atmospheric changes associated with pressure drops.

Like temperature, changes in pressure are a product of EMFs.

Through a lot of trial and error that drew on years of research I was able to discover a cure for the migraines.

Included in the book.

Two days ago as Idalia was making headlines I came upon an article that validated my experience; that it’s possible to sense EM frequencies associated with thunderstorms.

And, as I write in Riding the Waves, EMs associated with tropical storms and hurricanes.

It’s hard to put into words how it felt to see my observations backed up by other researchers; researchers who are going to conduct further study into how these EM frequencies affect behavior in a living organism.

Talk about validation!

It hasn’t been easy writing about a subject that continues to be controversial, to rile emotions, so when I come across this type of information it’s another brick falling off shoulders too often burdened by weighty matters.

Of course I also had to consider it meant I’m a shark.

Kidding, naturally.

To my delight, a day later another EMF article crossed my desk and while this one relates to a different part of my experience it’s every bit as validating.  Needless to say I’ll be sharing that information in the near future.

Stay tuned.

Writing Crystal Visions

Hey y’all 

Typed with a Midwest accent

I haven’t dropped off the planet, just gathering my thoughts.

Lots of projects under consideration.

The biggest hurdle at this point is deciding how to do a site layout that reflects my vision. I’ve always been a visual person, one who sees things then works to recreate what I see in my mind’s eye.

So readers can immerse themselves in that vision.

Vision as Part of the Process.

When writing, my visual process makes it so I not only see characters, colors, settings in equisite detail, I can smell the smells.

Whether they come from shampoo a character uses, a by-product of what is going on in the scene – i.e., the aftermath of a battle – or from memory – i.e., a hospital or elementary school.

When I set fingers to keyboard I literally have images of characters, settings, smells in mind.  It’s why I so easily identify with my characters.

Which helps when writing from their point of view.  

I see them with crystal clarity.

As if they were standing in front of or beside me.

Speaking of Crystal Visions, the song of the same name – by The Big Pink – is pretty sweet.

On the Red Riding Hood Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.

I imagine other novelists have this ability.

As would song writers, painters, sculptors, photographers, and a myriad of other artists, including actors who create their character as they see – and feel – in body and soul.

What makes this phase of my career challenging is that despite the tremendous improvements in tools and layout options available through WordPress, I’m concerned about making the layout overly busy.  

I want to represent multiple projects in one place without making it cluttered.

As with many disciplines (i.e. writing software code**), there are numerous ways to accomplish what I want and plenty of tools for doing so, but it’s wanting to match what I envision with what is displayed that has me taking time.

Considerations

Some projects will remain under wraps.

I’ll be revealing them in the near future.

Some are topics I never walked away from.

They’re integrated into who I am, woven into my life in a way that means to abandon them is akin to pulling a thread and watching everything unravel til nothing’s left but a spaghetti mess.

That doesn’t mean I was obligated to share.

In spite of a passion for making the world a better place.

Going back to the way things were would only land me in the place that drove me to step away to being with.

The way I’d been doing things resulted in serious damage – to me.

It was as if – metaphorically – I suddenly found myself in a ballroom so crowded I couldn’t hear myself think.

Let alone breathe.

As I go forward with these projects I’m taking my strengths and vulnerabilities into consideration.

As I honor my passion for making the world a better place.

Among the myriad of topics attached to various projects are EMF Sensitivity and life through a Living the Psi Life lens.

Stay tuned.

**  A big part of why I refused to do coding on-the-fly as part of my technical consulting is the simple fact I would be setting the sales rep up for failure.  I’d either be trying to deal with a predecessor’s code or writing in a way that meant whoever came after me needed to understand where I was coming from – at that moment – in order to support the customer.

Never mind that whatever I did wouldn’t be supported if the customer ever called the help desk.  

Ah, but that is a story for another day.

It Used to Be Socks – Part I

Trying to pick yourself up after you’ve been flattened by life is something I’m all too familiar with.  I’ve been doing it since I was 10 and a brain hemhorrage knocked me out of the game 2 weeks before US Olympic Gymnast Training Camp.

I came to after dying 3x blind, paralyzed, and recovering from an induced coma.

What I’m trying to come back from now is the most difficult health issue I’ve faced since those days.

What I do have is drawing from numerous times my life and plans were rerouted – for me – knowing I survived it – perhaps even emerged a stronger better person for it.

The Spirit Lives

I’ve come to see – fortunately -on endless walks over months the creative spirit within is still around, though it was and continues to be touch and go.

Merely thinking of projects can make me physically ill.

I think some part of me has been ‘splining what I was trying to do was akin to a baseball player getting back in the game before his injuries were healed.

Aka “Ain’t gonna happen.

Failed Negotiation

I tried all sorts of end runs around my higher self.

Crash and burn.

I gave up

And gave it to the Universe

Tuning the Dial

I was eventually strong enough to tap into old philosophies including my success with Silva and the Law of Attraction.

And got to a point where it was diminishing returns.

That’s okay – I’d put the energy out there.  I trusted the process.

So Where Do the Socks Come In?

I’m finally in a place where I’m strong enough to do a post under circumstances I wasn’t able to before.

Yay!

The Socks?

I could start with a cutesie story of how my kitty used to steal my socks when I was in second grade so I couldn’t go to school.

And leave her.

Years later she showed up at my sixth grade classroom.

Hopped up on the windowsill next to my desk.

Neither the teacher nor principal – both nuns – were amused.

We didn’t have a working car at the time so my dad had to ride up on  my 10-speed bike and put her in a suitcase to ride home with .

Bet that was fun.

The Cultural Divide of Socks

Anecdote aside, the sock thing started when I was 12 and my family had moved to New Orelans.

Small town in Jefferson Parish.

I had to wear the Catholic school uniform – I got that – but I put on socks I felt represented my creative spirit.

To give perspective, the other girls wore poodle length uniform skirts, bobby socks, and saddle shoes reminiscent of the 50s though this was some 30 years later.

Needless to say my yellow and brown striped socks didn’t win any popularity contests.

Nor did my Yankee accent.

It was actually the school bus driver who called me out first.

“What are ye wearin’ those fer?!”

She threatened not to let me on the bus.

Then decided to let the nuns have at me.

Needless to say, it went downhill from there.

But my creative spirit had morphed into some sort of rebellion over socks and the freedom to choose my own.

Sock Evolution.

By the time I was in high school I was working multiple jobs and maintaining grades good enough to get an academic scholarship.

And leading an organization that earned me Oakland County Outstanding Citizen of the Year.

Laundry was not a priority.

Neither was hair.

It’s amazing how many adults get tied up in knots when you don’t pay attention to such things.

Not school adults – ahem.

Showing up in mismatched socks was simply no big deal to me.

It was reflective of getting dressed at 6am after having gotten home from work after 11pm.  I was half asleep.

When I was called out for it I replied, “What does it matter if they match?  They’re both clean.”

Evolution II

I started to choose socks with fun patterns.

No dull solids for me!

And of course none of this was inspired by the continuous criticism of my choice of socks.

I mean come on – who takes the energy to stare at someone’s ankles?  I lived in jeans so it wasn’t like people could see goofy knee socks!

Evolution III

Alas the thrill of the sock hunt has been replaced by the joy of spending as much time barefoot as possible.  That doesn’t mean I don’t seek creative expression.

The latest version came from the realization I’m spending more time in t-shirts than sweaters.

So I may as well make it fun.

Given I needed to expand the wardrobe anyway since wearing the same 3-4 t-shirts over and over was going to have them wearing out I decided to do something fun that will help my writing efforts.

Honoring that creative spirit.

This will be evident in future posts.

Stay tuned

Self-Care and The Important Follow-On Question

As with so many, the fallout from the pandemic spurred me into taking what action I could to ease suffering – at personal expense.

Serious mental, emotional, and eventually physical burn-out.

Hitting a wall I elected to do something that would have appalled my corporate self.

Gasp!  Self-Care

To put in perspective, my primary influences growing up came from the Greatest Generation.

World War II Vets and war brides.

You didn’t complain.

Grit and heart and self-sacrifice for the greater good won the day.

This is the philosophy that underpinned my decades as a woman in the male dominated field of tech.

Eons before the Me-Too movement.

The idea of self-care was akin to betrayal.

Selfish!

And so it went.

By the end of 2022 even I was coming to see if I didn’t do something my health was going to deteriorate to the point I couldn’t recover.

Okay, so Now What?

I didn’t make the decision for self-care so much as God made it for me.

My life literally ground to a halt and I wound up in the ER.

In the days that followed it occurred to me that in order to heal I would have to sacrifice something that was an indelible part of my life.

My writing career.

When I wound up in the ER a second time after a test result came back suspicious I knew that in spite of the fact I’d wanted to be a writer from the time I was three, trying to pull up energy reserves to continue might be dire indeed.

Nothing like waking to a call at 7am telling you to get to the hospital immediately because of a number on a blood draw.

A Warning.

The follow-up tests showed I was fine.

Thank God.

I raised the white flag and informed my family that for the foreseeable future I would no longer be writing.

Or doing anything that would take precious energy needed for my recovery.

Selfish.

But first I had to get past the philosophy that putting myself first was selfish.

Thank God for the more modern philosophy that points out – wisely – if you aren’t there for yourself you can’t be there for those you love let alone anyone else.

Repeat after me:  Self-care is NOT being selfish!

I spent months focused on recovery even as I tried to be there for those who needed me.

I’m grateful for family and friends who were there for me when they too were trying to pick up their lives from various – and not always Covid related – challenges.

Part of self-care included daily walks.

Starting at a little under 2 I was soon walking 6 miles a day 7 days a week.

For months the only thought I could identify was “What was the license number of that truck?”

Anything deeper got me into a world of hurt.

Extended members of the family were a bit disconcerted.

“What’s with -?”

Giving the most basic of answers I put my head down and foot to the pavement.

Walking cold or heat, rain, sleet, or shine.

It was months before I could muster up the energy to utter – even mentally – the all-important follow-on question.

What’s Next?

I knew I wasn’t going back to corporate.

Hell I wasn’t healthy enough to do much – outside walking – but sit my butt on a couch.  I couldn’t commit to an employer let alone a customer!

Is that a Ray of – SUN?

Or is it hope?

One day while walking I considered that I really did want to write again.

It’s all I’d ever dreamed of doing from the time I was 3.

I also knew I was in no condition to even try.

The mere thought caused serious mental pain.

It was out of my hands.

I turned it over to God.

I also acknowledged that I may never be able to go back to writing.

Though that rubbed against another philosophy I was raised with which was God never put a dream in your heart He didn’t give you the means to achieve.

It’s a weird place living in the twilight of a dream shredded beyond recognition.

You’re so tangled in the confusion and pain of the idea of never again doing something you loved – that had been living inside of you since you could first put crayon to construction paper – you can’t give voice to the fear

The horror.

Not even to those who love you and want you to not hurt.

I couldn’t voice the fear even as I was willing to give it up forever if that’s what it took to make me whole again.

A Way Forward.

It’s early in the process and I’m taking it in baby steps but I intend to resurrect my dream.

As God wills it as my dear cousin likes to say.

I intend to tap the dream to be a writer to follow my passion.

Making the world a better place.

Stay tuned.

Manifesting 101: Accept What Goes With It

Note: Longer post.

Hoping everyone had a good weekend.  As I was walking this morning I recalled another aspect of manifesting worth sharing:

Accepting what goes with obtaining the goal.  

Incidentally, this is different than be careful what you wish for.

I find it fun to illustrate with examples.

After all, experience is a great way to get perspective.

When I was starting along my journey in corporate I became aware of the role technical consultant.

I was working in HR at the time, as a PSA.

I spoke with my manager – one of three I had at the time – and she agreed it would be a good fit as a career goal.  She proceeded to help me find a job in the department that would get me to the next step.

I was welcomed warmly by the technical consultants in the group who were more than happy to help me along the path to my goal.

Everyone knew it would take years of work to get from Point A to Point B and many were eager to guide me along the way.

One of the more attractive aspects of the role was the autonomy the position seemed to afford.

Self-directed and independent, I don’t thrive under micromanagement or bureaucracy.

As I got to the later stages of my non-traditional path …

Big time on-the-job training!

I came to see that there wasn’t as much autonomy as I perceived

Think TPS reports.

And there was a flip side to the autonomy.  

This is being a consultant?

Lonely time!

My job required a lot of travel and for the most part I was thrilled with the idea.  

I love traveling to different places and interacting with people from various walks of life.

What I wasn’t prepared for – nor comfortable with – was all the time I would be spending by myself.

I was self-conscious and felt a lot of eyes on me when I checked into hotels in sometimes rural areas, sat down by myself in a restaurant, or walked into a classroom room of my “peers.”

I was younger than most by 10-15 years.  I was single wheras most were married with kids.  I was uusally the lone female in the predominantly male industry.

A colleague who wanted to see me succeed gave me rather blunt words when I discussed the issue with him.

You’d better get used to it.

He explained that being a technical consultant meant spending hours on a plane and a lot of nights and weekends in hotels eating room service while watching ESPN.  

He suggested as an avid reader I just pull out a book and read while I eat.

Making it mine.

Over time I got used to the not-so-glamorous side of being a technical consultant.  More, outgoing and naturally curious, I engaged other travelers in conversation.

Most, also feeling lonely, were more than happy to talk about what they were doing.

Majority wanted to tell me about their families and how much they missed them.

Especially international travelers who, either because of kids’ school or the family budget couldn’t bring their families with them.

I always learned something new from these engaging conversations.

One of the more interesting ones was speaking with a Congressional Representative from the Navajo Nation who was sitting next to me on a flight to DC, his tray strewn with paperwork.  He was more than happy to take a break to explain his role and what he was presenting to Congress the next day.

This is the big gathering?

One of the more anticipated events in our company was an annual training where consultants from all over the world gathered near corporate HQ for a week of intense hands-on training.

And beaucoup networking.

The experienced consultants, not wanting to leave for one reason or another, proposed I go. However, my job classification meant No way! so a bit of negotiating was done.  I could go on the condition I attend specific courses or breakouts, write a report, and give a presentation upon my return.

But I was not allowed to rent a car and a number of stipend limitations were put on me.

It was a thrill and I was excited.  And challenged.

I was carded when I tried to order wine alongside a senior colleague from another state and when I gave the bartender my Michigan driver’s license, he proceeded to accuse me of having a fake ID.  I told him to go ahead and call the cops if he thought that – as my face flamed from embarassment – I’d drawn a lot of attention amongst the group of peers – all men. 

 One of the senior consultants – a soft spoken gentleman from Atlanta in his late 50s – managed to convince the bartender I had a legitimate license and he should sell the glass of wine to me.  

Oy!

I dutifully took notes while attending various sessions and emailed the report ahead of my return flight so the consultants could read it before my presentation the coming Monday.

They read it over the weekend.

One of the first things I said when I stood up was how incredulous I was that grown professionals could act the way some of the consultants had acted during training.

They argued – sometimes endlessly – over the smallest detail – and became quite passionate when learning that certain features promised by marketing weren’t going to make it into an upcoming release.

When I mentioned the frustration of watching a breakout session devolve into a rat hole my colleagues began to laugh and clap.  Confused, I said, “You think this is funny?” to which they replied, “No, this is what it is to be a consultant!”

I’d passed a test and was soon given more opportunities to further myself along the path toward the goal; a path littered with challenges as I learned the less-than-glamorous side of being a technical consultant.

Including learning after I completed all the requirements there was no headcount for me to get that promised promotion.

Perseverence.

I eventually succeeeded then surpassed the goals I’d set for myself.

I can look back on an incredible and successful years’ long career as a technical consultant.  

What stands out – a good reminder as I walk the path to current goals – is that there are unknowns one has to accept to go the distance and many of these unknowns are unanticipated hurdles.

They go along for the journey to success.

Be well!

Manifesting 101: Just When I Needed It

I’m beginning to wonder if the universe can read my mind.

I was taught God knows what’s in our hearts.

This morning was rougher than usual.  As I was out enjoying the sunshine I considered what I might do to boost my spirits.  No sooner had the thought completed when an older gentleman walking in the opposite direction said, “They say this means we’ll live longer.  It better or I’m going to have something to say to them!”

Whoever they are – ha ha.

His comment made me laugh.

Domino Effect.

It reminded me of something one of my uncles might say about some topic or other and thinking about them and their sometimes grumpy old man manner made me smile the kind of smile that takes over your whole body.

It was just what I needed when I needed it.

I immediately thanked God for the laugh and the smile.

As I walked along thinking how the guy seemed to have appeared out of nowhere I was reminded of a similar situation.

One I blogged about years back.

We were living in San Diego and I was feeling down about the whole EMF Sensitivity challenge.

I hadn’t yet put the pieces of the solution together.

I set out on a walk to clear my head.  Suddenly an older gentleman relatively well-dressed appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.

He was well-dressed but he was also a vagabond.

He gave me a smile, opened his arms, and said, “There’s someone who needs a hug.”

Boy did I ever.

I let this older man envelop me in his gift – care and compassion freely given – and thanked him.

The hug was brief and respectful.

I went on my way thinking how amazing it was the man appeared like an angel just when I needed it.

As I continued on my walk this morning I focused on another incident where I got what I needed when I needed it – without asking.

Just Thinking.

The other night I was wondering about the health benefits of walking.

Those outside the well-known, such as cardiovascular.

I had questions about potential benefits, but other than wondering, I did nothing to get the answers.  The next afternoon I came across the following article.

It just popped on my screen after I logged out of email.

I never said one word about my question, nor had I been reading articles about walking. I’d only thought about the question.

The article contained the answer to the unasked question.

Jung’s Synchronicities.

I’ve decided this series of “coincidences” is part of the overall process of manifesting goals.  You put the [intention] energy out there and the universe finds a way.  

The trick is to recognize it for what it is.

And be sure to thank the sender!

Be well!

Manifesting 101: The Pitfalls of Compassion

Note: Longer post.

The path to manifesting a goal is filled with challenges and those who’ve surmounted them are often willing to share the methods and strategies that worked for them.

There are a number of books going back to Think and Grow Rich if not earlier filled with support and advice.

One of the pitfalls I’ve yet to see talked about is something that has caught me up time and again. 

Too much of a good thing.

When compassion becomes an energy drain.

Hey, Me Too!

I’ve lost count of the number of people who, upon hearing I’m a writer, tell me they too want to be a writer.  More often than not, however, they have no intention of following through on the desire.

This includes people I’ve met in writing classes, at writing seminars, or who were in various writers’ groups I’ve been a part of.

I’ve found there are people who simply like to tell everyone they’re going to be a writer.

They tend to become feisty when I point out there’s a difference between wanting to be a writer – which they probably already are if they have a manuscript – and wanting to be a published writer where they’d have to polish that manuscript and go the distance.

A Theme Across Industries.

People are people.

When I was starting out in corporate as what one colleague referred to as a “junior astronaut” there were a couple of others who, like me, were entry-level but aspired to move up the ladder.  Compassionate by nature, I was more than happy to discuss strategy with them.  

At the end of the day, however, I was the only one who achieved what I set out to do.

Become a senior Technical Consultant.

It’s a lot of work.

Going to tech classes at night, working weekends, and putting in 80 hours a week was par for the course for years, as was living on a plane for weeks if not months to pay my dues.

I was touched when one colleague pulled me aside to tell me the stress and workload was too much for her. 

What was touching was that she worried I was disappointed in her for bowing out.  I quickly assured her nothing was farther from the truth.

Too Much of a Good Thing.

My compassion got me into trouble from time to time.  

One colleague used my strategy to go after my job.

Fortunately, it didn’t work but it was damn close.  Talk about stress!

Another casualty was the time and energy taken to talk with colleagues who were sometimes only curious about what I was doing.

Let’s just say that for the times and the company culture it was no longer an easily accepted path up the Technical Consultant ladder.

Looking back I see how draining and harmful giving time and energy to certain individuals turned out to be.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

One of the more confusing challenges – one I’ve seen too often – are those who see your efforts as some sort of judgment or commentary on them.  These individuals, upon hearing of your plan or your success get defensive.

They are those who, rather than congratulating you on overcoming hurdles to achieve something state “I could have done that too if…” then proceed to tell you all the reasons their hurdles were obviously bigger than yours so they couldn’t do what they set out to accomplish.

I suspect this is a life lesson for me because over the years as I achieved more goals I ran into it more often.

I broke the pattern when I simply quit giving these folks my time and energy.

Don’t Leave Me!

Another pitfall on the path to goal achievement is a bit on the inisidious side.  

I’d go so far as to say it’s a hurdle on the path to achieving your goal.

In general, when you begin taking serious action toward achieving a goal, the universe will put situations and people on your path to help you.

And challenge you.

Sometimes the people who claim to be your best cheerleader turn into your biggest obstacles.  This is because while they say they want you to achieve your goals, it isn’t true. Often, as you get close to attaining the goal, they begin subtly sabotaging your efforts.

This is a close cousin to the person who says they want to do something but really has no intention to do what it takes.

The traps involved with this challenge are too numerous to go into.  Suffice it to say that putting time and energy in this direction can lead you off the path.

This is one of the trickier ones because the individual who has seemed so supportive suddenly changes their tune, usually just when you’re about to succeed.  The psychological whiplash can be very draining.

Though the challenges involved with achieving a goal can be numerous, one that baffled me big time was hostility turned my way once I achieved a goal and made to move on to the next.

I love to learn and improve – myself and my life as well as the life of others I can help along the way.

What these challenges have in common is that each of them took time and energy I could have put into achieving the goal and while I’m aware they are part of life’s challenges along the path – normal in other words – they aren’t part of the process so much as a specific theme that, if one isn’t careful, can keep you from succeeding.

For the simple reason you don’t see the forest for the trees of the path through the manifesting woods.

I hope by sharing these tidbits people become aware of where hurdles could be hiding in plain sight.  Though compassion is worthy, when it becomes an energy drain that moves you from your dreams it’s time to regroup.

And redirect that compassion to the one looking back at you in the mirror.

Be well!

Manifesting 101:  Liminal – The Necessary Evil

Note: Longer post.

As I was getting ready for bed last night, a routine that includes prayer and meditation, I briefly considered that the weather had again shifted and I was looking at walking in cold rain come morning.

We’d just had warm sunny days so I wasn’t keen on playing Michelin Man again.

Twilight.

The Time Between

Somewhere between 4 and 5am I became aware though not fully awake.  What I got for my trouble was a message that put what I’m going through in perspective.

The Space Between.

Like so many, due to a confluence of variables, I find myself in a state of transition.

As is the world around me.

In his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges explains transitions don’t always begin at the beginning.  They can and often do start with an ending.

Leaving home, a job, a relationship.

He brings up a critical aspect of transition.

One I’d never considered before reading his book.

Liminal.

The Space Between

Dictionary.com defines liminal as coming from the Latin limen, meaning threshold.

In its literal sense, a threshold is a doorway.  Liminal is often used to describe the threshold, or gateway, between stages.  When used in a general way, liminal is often used to describe in-between spaces, places, and feelings.

I was fully aware of being in the liminal and that this stage of transition doesn’t have a set time to completion.  That didn’t mean I was enjoying it.

Though I’ve been trying to.

Wasting Time or Coping?

A chronic multi-tasker and overthinker I knew if I didn’t find a way to distract myself I was going to be in trouble soon.

The much needed break would be pushed off and I’d find myself in a world of health hurt.

I took a number of steps that worked – for a bit.  Fortunately for me before real trouble set in the weather improved just enough that I could get myself out the door for a walk.

In cold, rain, sleet, and hail.

So long as I bundled up.

Feeling like the Michelin Man as I ambled stiffly along.

Building up to about 5 miles a day seven days a week I did my best to ignore the fact I could see my breath but not always feel my hands.

It took quite awhile to thaw out when I got back.

I distracted myself by noticing and focusing on signs of spring.

Buds that over the time I was walking turned into beautiful flowers.

Weeks turned to months and I found myself grasping for every distraction possible.

I’ve never watched so much sports in my life.  

Thank God for March Madness, MLB Spring Training, Stanley Cup and NBA Playoffs.

I love the new rules for Major League Baseball that make games a lot less boring to watch.

Distractions only work so long before the ego catches on.  Knowing I was at risk of losing the momentum I’d worked so hard to achieve I spent a good portion of yesterday thinking of ways to add a bit of interest.

I knew I couldn’t fool myself so I needed to do something not to distract so much as to calm.

Just before drifting off I told God I was out of ideas and would love a bit of help.  The answer came between 4 and 5am.

Remember.

Walk Time is not Waste Time.

Looking back I see there was a bit of method to the madness that got me to this point which just reinforces my experience that the universe colludes to help you along.

Dropping little hint crumbs as you walk through the forest of doubt and confusion on your way to your goals.

Yesterday I participated in an online exchange where I shared a story from my time in corporate. I mentioned a wonderful manager I’d had who became the benchmark for the ideal manager.

His boss was awesome too!

Someone asked me to clarify a point which I was more than happy to do.  Case closed.

Or was it?

Turns out this exchange primed the universal pump as it were, opening the gate to an answer.

In Dreams.

That liminal stronghold.

Last night I dreamt of a company I spent time in along my tech career path.  Unfortunately, or perhaps not, the dream sequence took place during the toxic years.

The company was in a years’ long death spiral which brought out the worst in several  – though thankfully not all – coworkers.

In the dream I spoke to many individuals I’d worked with including a less than stellar manager.  

Who was referenced in the exchange – not by name – as an example of comparitive poor management response.

The Path is the Doorway.

You have to walk through.

The message received this morning was an image from a time in my life that was a transition of ntense difficulty.

A very sad and lonely time in my life.

Determined to improve things I spent weeks in late fall and throughout winter – in Michigan mind you – walking at night no matter the weather.

Through freezing temperatures and snow that had frozen into ice.

Back to the Beginning.

The benchmark. 

Jose Silva advises students to create advisors – real or imagined – that can help with any number of issues.  Though I hadn’t yet taken the BLS, I nonetheless naturally gravitated toward the same concept – to that wonderful manager who I was working for at the time.

It was natural as I have a vivid imagination and the process is similar to how I create characters for my fiction works.

Night after night as I considered the more painful aspects of what I was going through I imagined how this manager would advise me.

We’d had enough non-work conversations that I felt a confidence in what he would say, including the tone of voice and where and when he might laugh or exclaim over my ego’s attempts to stifle painful – if necessary – change which incuded cutting loose a lot of toxic relationships.

Remembering the value of walking through that liminal stage helped me see that the walking I’m doing now is the perfect solution.  The best aspect of the message was the reminder that though it may take time, there will be a point where I’m past this stage and into the next. It also served as a reminder I don’t need to know what the next is.

I certainly didn’t back then.

Have Faith.

Something I’d been working on.

Increasing faith suddenly became easier for the simple reason I’d been in this place before and it worked out.  Better yet it worked out without me knowing how.

Six months after making the decision to change, no matter how scary or lonely or painful, I met my husband, one of many blessings that came into my life once I made room for them.

By getting rid of  – no matter how painful or scary – that which no longer served.

When I set out to walk in the cold rain today I felt more relaxed.  I no longer had the expectation that an answer or aha moment should or would come.

Or that its absence meant I was doing something wrong.

Another Bread Crumb.

A clue along the path.

The idea for this article came as I was walking back.  I liked it not because it was an opporunity to share perspective in order to help others, but an opportunity to further ingrain the message the universe took the time to send.

A message that significantly reduced the stress of not seeing around the next bend on the path through the liminal.

Before I finish this post I’d like to share another coping strategy.

Get a Walking Buddy.

Or more accurately, a transition buddy.

As fate would have it, a good friend of mine – someone I’ve been friends with for decades – is also going through a time of significant and somewhat painful transition.

He had to move his mom to assisted care, is selling the house that’s been in his family for over three decades, and is walking the path of what is yet to be in this new stage of his life.

Ironically, when we met I was on the path of transition.

The begining stage of a different transition.

He and I have remained friends through a number of life transitions.

Which makes us ideally suited to support each other through the current ones.  

What I’ve found to be a key aspect of this support is that though we acknowledge the change and recognize it will change us in many ways, we also know we will be, at the end of it, who we are.

In our core.

By sharing anecdotes and small talk and generally just checking in with each other we provide assurance that though the hurricane winds of change are blowing, our inner houses are safely protected.

By a number of factors including our friendship.

As I eye the clock for the next walk I wonder if my shoes have dried out yet but even if they haven’t, it’s time to hit the path.

After all, each step is closer to getting through the liminal forest.

Be well.