Note: Longer post.
The path to manifesting a goal is filled with challenges and those who’ve surmounted them are often willing to share the methods and strategies that worked for them.
There are a number of books going back to Think and Grow Rich if not earlier filled with support and advice.
One of the pitfalls I’ve yet to see talked about is something that has caught me up time and again.
Too much of a good thing.
When compassion becomes an energy drain.
Hey, Me Too!
I’ve lost count of the number of people who, upon hearing I’m a writer, tell me they too want to be a writer. More often than not, however, they have no intention of following through on the desire.
This includes people I’ve met in writing classes, at writing seminars, or who were in various writers’ groups I’ve been a part of.
I’ve found there are people who simply like to tell everyone they’re going to be a writer.
They tend to become feisty when I point out there’s a difference between wanting to be a writer – which they probably already are if they have a manuscript – and wanting to be a published writer where they’d have to polish that manuscript and go the distance.
A Theme Across Industries.
People are people.
When I was starting out in corporate as what one colleague referred to as a “junior astronaut” there were a couple of others who, like me, were entry-level but aspired to move up the ladder. Compassionate by nature, I was more than happy to discuss strategy with them.
At the end of the day, however, I was the only one who achieved what I set out to do.
Become a senior Technical Consultant.
It’s a lot of work.
Going to tech classes at night, working weekends, and putting in 80 hours a week was par for the course for years, as was living on a plane for weeks if not months to pay my dues.
I was touched when one colleague pulled me aside to tell me the stress and workload was too much for her.
What was touching was that she worried I was disappointed in her for bowing out. I quickly assured her nothing was farther from the truth.
Too Much of a Good Thing.
My compassion got me into trouble from time to time.
One colleague used my strategy to go after my job.
Fortunately, it didn’t work but it was damn close. Talk about stress!
Another casualty was the time and energy taken to talk with colleagues who were sometimes only curious about what I was doing.
Let’s just say that for the times and the company culture it was no longer an easily accepted path up the Technical Consultant ladder.
Looking back I see how draining and harmful giving time and energy to certain individuals turned out to be.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
One of the more confusing challenges – one I’ve seen too often – are those who see your efforts as some sort of judgment or commentary on them. These individuals, upon hearing of your plan or your success get defensive.
They are those who, rather than congratulating you on overcoming hurdles to achieve something state “I could have done that too if…” then proceed to tell you all the reasons their hurdles were obviously bigger than yours so they couldn’t do what they set out to accomplish.
I suspect this is a life lesson for me because over the years as I achieved more goals I ran into it more often.
I broke the pattern when I simply quit giving these folks my time and energy.
Don’t Leave Me!
Another pitfall on the path to goal achievement is a bit on the inisidious side.
I’d go so far as to say it’s a hurdle on the path to achieving your goal.
In general, when you begin taking serious action toward achieving a goal, the universe will put situations and people on your path to help you.
And challenge you.
Sometimes the people who claim to be your best cheerleader turn into your biggest obstacles. This is because while they say they want you to achieve your goals, it isn’t true. Often, as you get close to attaining the goal, they begin subtly sabotaging your efforts.
This is a close cousin to the person who says they want to do something but really has no intention to do what it takes.
The traps involved with this challenge are too numerous to go into. Suffice it to say that putting time and energy in this direction can lead you off the path.
This is one of the trickier ones because the individual who has seemed so supportive suddenly changes their tune, usually just when you’re about to succeed. The psychological whiplash can be very draining.
Though the challenges involved with achieving a goal can be numerous, one that baffled me big time was hostility turned my way once I achieved a goal and made to move on to the next.
I love to learn and improve – myself and my life as well as the life of others I can help along the way.
What these challenges have in common is that each of them took time and energy I could have put into achieving the goal and while I’m aware they are part of life’s challenges along the path – normal in other words – they aren’t part of the process so much as a specific theme that, if one isn’t careful, can keep you from succeeding.
For the simple reason you don’t see the forest for the trees of the path through the manifesting woods.
I hope by sharing these tidbits people become aware of where hurdles could be hiding in plain sight. Though compassion is worthy, when it becomes an energy drain that moves you from your dreams it’s time to regroup.
And redirect that compassion to the one looking back at you in the mirror.