BRINGING A STORY TO LIFE: SOURCE

Enjoying a bit of peace and quiet and a much cooler morning.  It got so hot during our heat wave that our food processor bowl melted while in use.  The round area that has the blade come through is now oblong. 

 I loved hearing Aaron say, “Oh, that’s why it sounded so funny.”

I was listening to music through headphones at the time and missed all that audio fun.  Thankfully, we live in a time when you can get replacement parts easily; you don’t have to buy an entirely new appliance.

As I listen to the sounds of the morning which include enough wildlife I sometimes feel I live in a zoo, I’m mentally sorting through projects in the queue.   It isn’t just that there are a number of possibilities it’s the order in which they should be done. 

Temporal Awareness.  At the start of the pandemic shutdown I wrote about what it felt like having my temporal awareness turned on its ear.  

As someone who already worked from home the inability to have any contact with the outside world for months on end was surreal.

I channeled that frustration into writing making it one of the more prolific times of my writing career.

I finished Beacon, Rainmaker, Mirror, and Redemption among other projects in a span of about three months. 

It came at a cost.

Burnout.

I know that work burnout was a common problem during the pandemic.  I read several articles in which people talked about the effects of being shut in or – if they couldn’t work from home – being completely overwhelmed.  And yet I couldn’t relate.

Career burnout wasn’t my burnout.

It took until yesterday to understand that my burnout was related but different.  It wasn’t career burnout so much as life burnout. 

 As someone who has worked from home for twenty-seven years, other than a period of incredible productivity, it wasn’t my career that was impacted.

Outside acknowledging the challenges of going from minimal outside interaction to none, I never considered the impact of total lockdown on my life outside my career.

Work Front and Center.  There was a cost to the constant attention on work from home in our community and in the world.  It hid the impact of what was happening outside that construct.

When you’re so busy focusing on making something work you can miss all the areas of your life that are being starved of critical energy.

 Missing the Signs.  Because my productivity  was not negatively impacted  I missed warning signs that not all was well.  Or, if I did sense something wrong I simply channeled it into my work, exacerbating the problem.

Open Is Closed.  Regardless of the state of the states I still work from home.  Thanks to the delta variant and other unknowns it’s business as usual as far as the pandemic is concerned.

Masks, social distancing, and good health habits.

This lack of real change and the knowledge that it will likely remain so for the foreseeable future had me turning to my de facto approach, writing.

Excuse Me.  An interesting thing happened.  Somehow the message from the nonwork areas of my life that were suffering got to the productivity camp and, as you can predict, everything shut down.

Few things cause panic for an author.  Writer’s block is one of them.

Because my attention was on the impact to my productivity I missed that the symptoms had nothing to do with writing.

There was no writer’s block.

Ignoring the symptoms since I didn’t map them to nonwork issues, I continued focusing on my career.

It never occurred to me it was soul burnout related to the pandemic.

Meet Me Halfway.  Apparently, my higher self has a clue.  It figured out I’m going to double down on the creative outlet as a coping mechanism – something I’ve done my whole life – so it plugged into that part of the energy spectrum.  This led to a series of “coincidences” that got the message through.

That while my body and mind were doing just fine, my spiritual health was in need of some serious TLC.

The Edge of Nowhere.  I decided to work with Event Horizon which does an amazing job of pulling me out of myself so I can solve issues unhindered by “noise.”  Sure enough I started to see where energy blocks were having a negative impact.  As with all Event Horizon sessions, a number of solutions were offered to address the situation.

I Can’t Hear You.  It was during one of the better sessions that I realized that while I gave myself suggestions to address issues I wasn’t following up.  I kept setting the stuff aside for later after which I would go back to writing.  Luckily for me, this time I listened.

One Thing Feeds Another.  As I followed through on the suggestions I was inspired to go back and do another EH session during which more insight was gained and more suggestions given.  This went on for a few days and I noticed those other energy blocks began to dissolve.

In some cases I didn’t even realize there was a block until it was gone.

Helping Hand.  I continued working with Event Horizon and continued to follow through on the suggestions and continued to see improvements including subtle messages from the universe that helped me on my way.  And then a funny thing happened.  The messages became not so subtle.  In fact, they got downright direct.

Read My Lips.  The universe has a fun way of getting the message across and I’ve long known that when we ignore the messages, they get louder. 

This isn’t always a good thing.

In this case the increased volume was relatively harmless.  A book that had appeared in my sphere of awareness months ago reappeared.  This time I paid attention and bought it.  I also got an email from a dear friend, the right words at the right time.  Interestingly, both sources had the same message

Don’t forget the basics!

It was through each of these messages I realized that in all the chaos I had forgotten to nurture my own spirituality.

I was so busy being there for everyone and everything else I forgot to be there for this.

Energy In Bloom.  As I read the book and did the exercises which included relaxation, meditation, visualization, grounding, I found the creative whispering increasing in volume.

The voice of the source – what goes into bringing a story to life.

Bruised But Healing.  When you are a creative, to create is to feed the soul. The worst thing that can happen is to turn off the spigot but just as damaging, as I’ve learned, is to turn it on full blast. I believe my soul understands this now. I recognize the need to find other ways to nurture that soul.  Especially when the avenues open to me are cut off by lockdown.

BRINGING A STORY TO LIFE: IN THE MOOD

Timing isn’t always everything.  

I’ve spent the past week doing some serious multi-tasking and as things seemed to have settled down a bit I set my energies to finishing a scene I’d set aside because it isn’t the type of scene I wanted to work on while distracted.

An intimacy scene.

So much for best laid plans.  I’d no sooner gotten started when I got a text from the dentist with links to forms that needed filling out.  

I can honestly say the dentist doesn’t bring to mind the energies of romance or intimacy.

Finished with that I took a break to get a snack which reminded me I needed to come up with an idea for dinner.  Finished with that I set back to work on the scene when I got another text asking me to review a web change.

Not happy with the image I explained what needed to change then went back to the scene.  Andddd… another text regarding a separate dental form.

Back to the scene and – another text with the updated web image.  That one needed a slight tweak so I spent some time on that.  Happy with how it turned out I sat down to work on the scene only to find I’d lost the romance energy thread.  

Like seriously?

Amused I decided I would give readers a glimpse of how it might go for a writer in a typical day.

It is an entertaining consideration – all these interruptions – but the post does serve another purpose.  In putting it down on paper, the distraction – the idea of it – is no longer in my mind.

NOW I can go back to the scene!

The Day Before, a Dragon Core story is on track for an Autumn 2021 release.

Stay tuned!

DAY IN THE LIFE OF A WRITER

Note: This article is lengthy.

Just finishing lunch and trying to mentally engage with a specific project.

I’ve been trying for the past six or so hours.

I’m not concerned as for once in a long while there’s no deadline to meet and more I know what I need to do and even have the project started.  It’s just turning into one of those days where I’m meandering my way forward.

As opposed to running.

My mind wandered back to a day many moons ago, a day that pops into my consciousness quite a bit.

Ever since the shutdown last March.

Long before everything was shut down I attended a presentation at a Marine Center that was cohosted by the US Navy.  I struck up a brief conversation with a teen girl whose family was sitting at the same table.  After complimenting her on her presentation I asked what she liked to do.  Her answer?  “I like to write.”

I remember smiling big time at that and telling her “I’m a writer.”

She smiled just as big.

I asked her what kind of writing she liked to do.

At this point I became aware of her parents definitely focused on the conversation.

She told me she liked to write stories to which I explained that’s what I do.  I then spent a few minutes encouraging her to write with a specific caveat.  Follow your heart.

I went on to explain there would be times she would have to write papers she didn’t want to write about subjects that may bore her, but that they were important to her education as a writer.

All writing is practice.

I wound the conversation down by encouraging her to follow her heart – her inner guidance – as it would never steer her wrong.

I also told her to keep writing.

I often wonder what possessed me to speak to this girl.  My stomach was in knots almost the entire time.

Who was I to offer advice?  Oh, that’s right – a writer!

My mind drifts back to that young woman in these days of isolation and I think about how much she is missing by not being able to participate in that project aimed at youth.  I wonder if she remembers some adult talking to her about writing and hope she is still at it.

Following her heart.

I don’t think I did it because of the messaging I got growing up which was anything but supportive towards writing as a career.

  • You don’t want to be a writer – they don’t make any money.  You want to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer – or at least marry one.

So they could realize their dream of having one in the family they could brag about.

  • A writer?  Yeah, my son told me he wants to be in a rock band.  I told him to get a real job.

Told to me by a college counselor.  Apparently he didn’t think being a writer was a real job.

My parents encouraged me to…FOLLOW MY HEART!!!!

This included not discouraging me from being a writer. Not once.

I’ll admit my path to writing is non-traditional though I’m not sure if there is a such thing as a traditional path to that profession.

I can honestly say I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I only know that I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 3 and I’ve been writing ever since.

It’s in me.

Not Just Writing.  I found myself recently encouraging another beautiful young woman facing the challenges of lockdown.

A dancer.

The challenges she was facing were numerous.  Not only were they being asked to dance over zoom – alone– they were being forced to find a place to do so.

Oh yes, everyone’s home can double as a dance studio.

We talked back and forth and I offered some suggestions on how to turn a small space into a makeshift studio.

Hanging mirror doors and installing a barre are relatively simple.  Framing a closet is also relatively easy.  I know – relatively – but it can be done.

What came out of the conversation, however, was something that sent me back into writer mode.  This beautiful woman told me she didn’t know who she was if she wasn’t a dancer.

She’d been dancing since early childhood.  She was watching helplessly as many of her friends – faced with restrictions that made dancing a shell of what it was meant to be – drop out.

My heart hurt that she was at a point many of us find ourselves along life’s path…who am I?

It was a point I found myself at once upon a time.  

Did someone say once upon a time?  

I told her that dancing is a form of creativity but that the creativity is in her soul and that if dancing was not the outlet it would take that was okay because it would find another one.

I then backed it up with … of course … a story…

I told her how I had been training for the US Olympic Gymnast team – was told I was the next Nadia Comaneci – when two weeks before Olympic training camp I suffered a brain bleed that left me blind, paralyzed, and in a coma.

Needless to say – bye bye Olympic dream.

I told her that in the rubble of my dream I reconnected with the earlier one – of being a writer and while the rest, as they say, is history, the point of the story was that I was born a creative – as was she – and that that creativity would find a way to express itself no matter what.

I told her not to give up on dancing and that life has a way of working itself out but more importantly I told her that she is not the dancer so much as a creative spirit looking to express that spirit of creativity and that I was 100% certain it would find a way.

Addendum.  I didn’t whitewash the pain or frustration.  I told her that yes, the disappointment and frustration was formidable.  

I’d felt a lot of guilt because of what I’d lost – weirdly enough.  

And then…

Angels in Disguise.  I shared two events of significance – both facilitated by coworkers in the tech industry – that helped me move past the pain.

Writers Wanted.  One day early in my tech career I happened to mention to a coworker I wanted to eventually be a writer full-time.  Turns out, so did she and what do you know, so did another colleague who’d overheard our conversation and came over from his cubicle to join.

You haven’t lived until you experience the rat in a cage life of working in a cubicle with your alloted space for mementos. Provided they met with corporate approval of course.

Interestingly all of us were pursuing different genres.

What started as a random chance conversation turned into a mini support group.

Last I knew, Mary was able to “quit her day job” after getting a contract and winning an award for her first book.  Jim had an agent shopping his manuscript around.  Yes, this was years ago but I’d like to think they are still following their dream.

Olympic Reroute.  I was having lunch with two sales reps who had also been on track for the Olympics.

This was several years after leaving that other company and relatively close to when I quit to pursue my own writing career. 

One was a Canadian who was – interestingly enough – on the gymnast team.  

Had it worked out we would have competed!

The other was a guy who was on the US Olympic tennis team.

I was a bit puzzled by the sighs and lamenting that accompanied their stories.  I knew what had happened to my dreams but what were they feeling?  

What they told me changed my world.

“It was the 1980 Olympics.”

My reply was “Yes, I remember this – I had the brain bleed in the summer of 1979.”

“Don’t you remember?  We boycotted the Olympics that year!”

Um, no, I was kind of busy trying to learn to walk again.

That wasn’t a pity party statement so much as an explanation of why that wasn’t topmost on my mind of missed Olympic opportunity.

For the next hour we talked about our feelings at having spent years of hard work – the commitment of ourselves, our families – only to miss an opportunity.

This conversation healed me in ways I can’t express, and I am forever indebted to these two individuals for baring their hearts and souls that day.

As we concluded lunch all of us agreed that in spite of the deep disappointment, our lives were rich, filled with wonderful experiences. Most importantly, each of us had found ways to channel that creative passion that put us on the Olympic track.

The Canadian found a passion for horses and she competes – successfully.

She also has a beautiful spirit and sense of humor that makes this world a better place.

The gentleman found an outlet for tennis in teaching inner city kids not only tennis but how to find that passion within themselves.

Something he credits his dad for teaching him.

I shared these stories with the beautiful dancer to further explain 

  • Don’t give up on dancing because the final chapter has not been written
  • The creative spirit is in you – it IS you – and it will find a way out

Hell, maybe she’ll end up being a best-selling writer…