An Author Reads

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As I was sitting rereading one of my very favorite Dragon Core Stories – Shadow of the Gods – I wondered briefly if other authors reread their own work.

And if they did was it to do the endless editing we’re known for or because they absolutely loved everything about that moment

The moment being

  • The characters
  • The story
  • The setting
  • The memories

Characters

Readers and visitors will note I regularly mention strong independent characters who steer/direct their destiny… Character driven fiction is the priority for me because it’s a reflection of my existence as an observer of the world and those in it.

Story

For me the story flows naturally – from feeling.

The process of a tale fighting to get out is more psycho-emotional than cerebral

As an author, rereading my work ignites the same feelings and psycho-emotional responses that were at work when I first put fingers to keyboard.

It isn’t a high, just a happy feeling of accomplishment.

Setting

Setting is a natural extension of the above.

When I write I can see the setting as if I’m there.

Memories

Memories can be tricksters, jesters hiding in shadows waiting to feed their need for perverse entertainment

At your expense.

Memories associated with an event such as writing and/or publishing a story can be associated with what was going on in your life at that moment, life memories evoked while putting fingers to keyboard, or anything that happened as a result of releasing that work into the world.

Mixed bag.

Of all, I believe memories the most challenging as they tie in multiple variables including memories of where you thought you would be once you released your art to the world.

And how you thought the world would react. Hahahahahahaha

Mental Minefield

It turns out Time holds the key to healing incongruencies

Even when reality surpasses expectation memories can be a wrench in it all

Healing

Time has been an element of fascination and passion for me for as long as I can remember

And – at times – my nemesis

One thing Time has done is take pity on me as the author wading through my favorite works by its passing blunting the edge of emotions that might ruin the joy of reliving creative expression through reading a work of art given to the world to spread joy.

And love.

Just in time for Halloween: Life as a Costume Party!

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Hope everyone is enjoying life if not the weekend.  Had a lightbulb moment and wanted to share.

It’s up my holistic – aka body mind spirit – alley.

But first

Making progress figuring out “next steps” in website/career update.

Feeling more at peace with it. But – it takes time.

As usual [for me] the universe is directing the energy – but – it’s coming round that the energy will be pulled in – put to good use.

I’m feeling better!

I wanted to share the perspective that popped into mind.

Perspective is everything!

Many of us are searching – in one form or another – for ourselves.

Searching for meaning, searching for what our Divine Purpose is, searching for the winning Powerball numbers…

Got a bit of insight as to why it’s been so difficult for some of us to find ourselves

Imagine…

Showing up to a costume party where you’re trying to see if you can figure out who’s who only to find you don’t even recognize yourself

because…

Your soul is housed in a damn good costume!

Maybe too good ya?

Good things coming!

Eager to share!

Stay tuned!

Site Update

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Happy Autumn!

My favorite season.

Over the past months I’ve focused on healing after severe burnout.

Even as I wanted to work on a vision for my writing career.  

Walking countless miles I examined the possibilities.

And felt ill even thinking of writing.

I was fully prepared to walk away from writing forever if that’s what I needed to do to stay healthy.  There was just one tiny issue.  Writing wasn’t just a job, it was a lifelong dream.

I couldn’t get the maxim God never puts a dream in your heart without giving you the means of fulfilling it out of my head and heart.

While walking mile after mile – rain snow or shine – I prayed for guidance.  

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Over the months I came to see that it is possible for me to continue along the path of my dream provided I start over and – most importantly – I don’t go back to doing things the same old way.

A way that led me straight into burnout.

Simply giving myself permission to dream of the possibility I might be able to write again terrified me, so I acknowledged it as a possibility and set it aside for several months more. 

Light At the End of the Tunnel

A light that thankfully was not an oncoming train!

I started with blog posts and when that went well gave myself permission to dream of more. At the same time I kept my focus on healing.

Walking is wonderful for body mind and spirit.

The vision started to crystalize but I struggled with details such as layout and organization and soon came to realize I was overcomplicating things.

Again.

I’ve finally come up with a format I can live with.

As someone with a passion for excellence, I’m picky.

In the coming weeks I will be implementing the changes which will include

  • Work on EMF Sensitivity
  • Work on the Psi Side
  • Fiction
  • New nonfiction work I will provide details for in the near future

When it comes to blogs, rather than overcomplicating things by filing posts in different locations,  I will simply make sure the subject is in the title.  

Readers can decide whether the subject is of interest.

I look forward to sharing my desire to make the world a better place through Creations, Communications, and Research in the weeks and months to come.

Stay tuned

Self-Care and The Important Follow-On Question

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As with so many, the fallout from the pandemic spurred me into taking what action I could to ease suffering – at personal expense.

Serious mental, emotional, and eventually physical burn-out.

Hitting a wall I elected to do something that would have appalled my corporate self.

Gasp!  Self-Care

To put in perspective, my primary influences growing up came from the Greatest Generation.

World War II Vets and war brides.

You didn’t complain.

Grit and heart and self-sacrifice for the greater good won the day.

This is the philosophy that underpinned my decades as a woman in the male dominated field of tech.

Eons before the Me-Too movement.

The idea of self-care was akin to betrayal.

Selfish!

And so it went.

By the end of 2022 even I was coming to see if I didn’t do something my health was going to deteriorate to the point I couldn’t recover.

Okay, so Now What?

I didn’t make the decision for self-care so much as God made it for me.

My life literally ground to a halt and I wound up in the ER.

In the days that followed it occurred to me that in order to heal I would have to sacrifice something that was an indelible part of my life.

My writing career.

When I wound up in the ER a second time after a test result came back suspicious I knew that in spite of the fact I’d wanted to be a writer from the time I was three, trying to pull up energy reserves to continue might be dire indeed.

Nothing like waking to a call at 7am telling you to get to the hospital immediately because of a number on a blood draw.

A Warning.

The follow-up tests showed I was fine.

Thank God.

I raised the white flag and informed my family that for the foreseeable future I would no longer be writing.

Or doing anything that would take precious energy needed for my recovery.

Selfish.

But first I had to get past the philosophy that putting myself first was selfish.

Thank God for the more modern philosophy that points out – wisely – if you aren’t there for yourself you can’t be there for those you love let alone anyone else.

Repeat after me:  Self-care is NOT being selfish!

I spent months focused on recovery even as I tried to be there for those who needed me.

I’m grateful for family and friends who were there for me when they too were trying to pick up their lives from various – and not always Covid related – challenges.

Part of self-care included daily walks.

Starting at a little under 2 I was soon walking 6 miles a day 7 days a week.

For months the only thought I could identify was “What was the license number of that truck?”

Anything deeper got me into a world of hurt.

Extended members of the family were a bit disconcerted.

“What’s with -?”

Giving the most basic of answers I put my head down and foot to the pavement.

Walking cold or heat, rain, sleet, or shine.

It was months before I could muster up the energy to utter – even mentally – the all-important follow-on question.

What’s Next?

I knew I wasn’t going back to corporate.

Hell I wasn’t healthy enough to do much – outside walking – but sit my butt on a couch.  I couldn’t commit to an employer let alone a customer!

Is that a Ray of – SUN?

Or is it hope?

One day while walking I considered that I really did want to write again.

It’s all I’d ever dreamed of doing from the time I was 3.

I also knew I was in no condition to even try.

The mere thought caused serious mental pain.

It was out of my hands.

I turned it over to God.

I also acknowledged that I may never be able to go back to writing.

Though that rubbed against another philosophy I was raised with which was God never put a dream in your heart He didn’t give you the means to achieve.

It’s a weird place living in the twilight of a dream shredded beyond recognition.

You’re so tangled in the confusion and pain of the idea of never again doing something you loved – that had been living inside of you since you could first put crayon to construction paper – you can’t give voice to the fear

The horror.

Not even to those who love you and want you to not hurt.

I couldn’t voice the fear even as I was willing to give it up forever if that’s what it took to make me whole again.

A Way Forward.

It’s early in the process and I’m taking it in baby steps but I intend to resurrect my dream.

As God wills it as my dear cousin likes to say.

I intend to tap the dream to be a writer to follow my passion.

Making the world a better place.

Stay tuned.

A Return to My Writing Roots

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Note:  Longer Post.

As part of a soft launch of the new writing project I’ve been revamping my website.  As it says in the updated Welcome message 

I’m really excited about this change as it is an opportunity to return to my roots as a writer while continuing to make a positive difference in the world.

Return to my roots as a writer. 

What does that mean?  

To fully understand I need to go back in time to what is – ironically – one of the more challenging time periods of my life.

I was working in a culture that was becoming more toxic in proportion to the  strengthening of “secular headwinds.”

In the midst of this despair I found comfort in the company of some of the most creative individuals I’ve ever worked with; souls who shared the ways they channeled stress into their life’s passions.

Being part of a band, writing fiction, dancing, working on code to predict winning Lotto numbers among other interests.

Working with people who had dreams outside Corporate meant I was free to share mine with an audience that was receptive if not outright supportive of them.

A few even helped me fulfill some of them.

Though I eventually attained my dream of leaving corporate to pursue writing novels full time, reality was nothing like I imagined.  Coming into the dream right as the publishing industry was undergoing one of the most significant transformations in history was turbulent to say the least.

The rise of ebooks via Smashwords and Amazon.

Somewhere along the way I lost sight of what the dream was all about.

Why did I want to be a writer?  

Quiet!

Like with so many around the world the pandemic forced a total recalibration on every level so it’s no surprise that on the other side of the worst of it I took stock of where I was and looked to see what needed to change.  In terms of my career, a lot.

Though I’d become highly prolific during the lockdown, turning out several books – fiction and non – I drove myself straight into the wall of burnout.  

Eliminate the Source.

Though I would have gotten here eventually, a recent and revealing discussion with a caring friend accelerated the decision to turn my focus from writing books.

The source of the  burnout.

What excited me most was the opportunity to take time to think about what it was I wanted to write.  I came to see the answer was going back to what I used to do.

Writing in a way that reflected who I am.

Which brings me to…

Making a Positive Difference

I have a lifetime of service that began in childhood with volunteer work.

Read, walk, and skate-a-thons for organizations such as March of Dimes, Muscular Dystrophy, The American Juvenile Diabetes Association, to name a few.

This continued into adultood.

Working with food banks and other volunteer opportunities.

I channeled my love of helping others professionally by becoming a consultant.

I was always gratified by the smiles of customers who got what they wanted in a solution.

After earning a doctorate in holistic healthcare, I channeled the consulting into nonfiction work.  

Books and websites.

Unfortunately, this led to a rather interesting conundrum.  It became about them.

My motivation was in the right place.

I didn’t understand the toll it would take.  

Fast Forward to Positive.

I’ve decided to focus on blogging as it allows me to write what I love for the reason I got into writing.

To Share Smiles.

I believe it’s best – for readers and this writer – to stick with what I have rather than go to a newsletter service and ask readers following me to add an additional service.  

Sharing Smiles

When I thought about who I was as a person I remembered countless stories of laughter shared with colleagues and customers.  

Even and especially during difficult times.

I knew immediately I wanted to give that to a broader audience.

I changed the site banner to reflect this.

Sharing Perspective to Share Smiles.

I think the world can do with more opportunities to smile and look forward to doing my part.

Stay tuned!

Warmly and with good vibes,

Elizabeth

Hidden in Plain Sight: Goals Manifested

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I’ve written previously about suddenly realizing something I thought would be cool years back came to be even though I didn’t consciously take action to manifest it.  More recently I used such a realization to propel me in a new direction in my career.  Specifically, I mentioned suddenly realizing I’d achieved the writing goals I set out for myself but didn’t realize it.

How can that be?

It wasn’t obvious because the goals manifested in a way I hadn’t been expecting.  To illustrate I’ll use a parallel example.

I was born with Wanderer’s Lust.  From childhood I wanted to see the world and meet the people in it.  Fuel was added to this dream in second grade when I saw amazing stories via the geography book we used; one that was published by National Geographic.

At Home Around the World.

 With chapters such as At Home on an Island and At Home on a Tundra I learned that our world was made up of diverse people who lived lives totally different than my Midwest environment.  The photography was spectacular and the beauty it revealed made me want to go to these places.  I wanted to talk to some of the people in the stories because I had questions, my curiousity fueled by a way of life that was so different than mine.

I remember how young male teens in one island country climbed breadfruit trees.  I was amazed as there were no branches to use as leverage like with the maples I climbed.

I did get my opportunity to travel and to meet people from other cultures.

I love hearing stories about their lives.

Much of this travel came through business travel.

Including meeting people from other cultures who traveled to the United States.

A Left Turn at Albuquerque.

 My travels took a different spin when, having driven myself across the country to relocate from the Midwest to Silicon Valley I learned the joys of seeing the country by car.

I met some amazing people and saw some pretty odd stuff.

This experience came in handy when I needed to travel extensively for research into EMF Sensitivity.

Research I funded myself.

I saw places I never thought to visit along with places I’d read about in schoolbooks and longed to see, such as Mount Rushmore National Memorial and Taos, New Mexico.**

**  Though I didn’t know about the hum, learning about it gave me a good reason to go there as part of my EMF Research.

I am grateful for the opportunity to fulfill a passion for travel, though it did not manifest in a way I  would have expected.

Rinse.  Repeat.

I’d like to say I’ve learned my lesson in this regard but the truth is this is something that I’ve faced repeatedly.

Not recognizing the goals manifested because they did so in a way that was unexpected.

I’d like to think that this most recent experience with career goals has helped adjust my manifesting viewing scope.  One thing I know for sure.  It’s opened my eyes to gratitude as I acknowledge the wonder and blessings I have as a result.

Gratitude and acknowledging achievements is part of the overall manifesting process.

See where the successes in your life may be hiding.

In plain sight no less!

Ch-ch-ch-Changes

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Speaking of ch-ch-ch-changes, check out what’s going on at Grace Cathedral!

How’s that for serving a diverse community of locals and visitors?!

Note: Longer article.

I love it when a plan comes together.

As with so many of us the last few years have taken their toll on me.  

It was challenging enough working in a solitary endeavor.

When I left Corporate I went from interacting with dozens of people on a daily basis to less than five.  

It was, to say the least, a shock to the system.

Pandemic lockdown took isolation to a whole new level.  As a way to cope I poured my frustrations into writing novels, nonfiction books, and apps, and though this time period became one of the more prolific, it pushed me straight into burnout.

I was so busy on that hamster wheel I didn’t see what I was doing to myself.

A series of events spread over a year allowed me to slowly and ever so painfully see what was happening.

Great harm.

To make matters worse, that squeaky habitrail wheel I’d put myself on blocked out the soft caring voice of my inner guidance.

With disastrous results.

I am fortunate to have read the Alchemist as it grounded me in the painful process of tuning back into that loving voice.  

You have to drown out the noise in order to hear it and that is far from easy.  

For months I felt like I was in a warbler’s nest full of chicks all vying for attention.

All claiming if I didn’t give it to them some disaster was going to happen.

I didn’t pay enough attention to me and what I needed.

Until now.

I am pleased and proud to announce I am retiring from writing books!  

I will, however, continue to write.

I’d been going in this direction for some time but outside events – the stress of them – kept me from tuning into that reality.

I ran faster on that wheel.

The conversation that changed everything.

I was talking with a trusted friend who helped me see that over the previous decade plus I achieved the goals I’d set for my writing career.

All of them!

In understanding this – owning it – I came to see there was no reason to continue beating on myself like I was.  

I was only harming myself.

Subsequent introspection showed how writing books nonstop had taken me far from who I am.

As a writer and a person.

As Tyrell Terry said, “I wasn’t really doing it for myself.”

Next Stop!

I learned transition is an interesting event, one that doesn’t always start with beginnings.  As William Bridges explains, it can and sometimes does start with endings.  

Including abrupt and unplanned endings.

Out of a place of despair I found a way forward; a way that would help me return to my roots.

As a writer and a person.  

It’s a way of writing that is authentic and will allow me to be who I am.

Someone who wants to make a positive difference in the world.

I’ve no regret over the decision to retire from writing books.

Which in and of itself speaks volumes about being the right decision.  

When I started to get signs from the universe that appear to be giving me a thumbs up, I realized this had been a long-time coming.

I also saw I am far from alone in making such a choice, as evidenced by Tyrell’s heartfelt action.

First was the support of those closest to me.

Who had been watching me struggle with what my career – the severe isolation – was doing to me.  

Next came the observation that peers – many of whom are longtime friends – are going through a version of this same thing.

They are leaving careers and selling businesses that have been taking a terrible toll on their mental and emotional well-being.

It is refreshing to see so many people making deliberate choices to put their well-being as a priority.

Every one of them has expressed how scary it is, how lonely it makes them feel.  Trust me, I get that!

As everything continues to fall in line with this decision I have moments of fear.

And a strong sense of isolation.  

What helps is feeling this is the right change to make!

I will share details about the project in the days and weeks to come.  For now I can say I am retiring from writing books.

Fiction and nonfiction.

Everything currently available will remain available.

I will not be completing the Second Sons series.

I have removed the landing page.

I will be producing material that is in line with wanting to make a positive difference in the world.

That utilizes the framework I’ve built out on elizabethmaxim.com.

I plan to make the transition easy for readers.

Comments are turned on. 

I ask commenters be respectful.

I want to thank readers and visitors for being there.  I look forward to sharing this part of the journey to our mutual benefit.

I’m already collaborating with another artist/professional on some ideas for this new venture.

Stay tuned for exciting things to come!

Including changes to the website to reflect the new direction.

I Hope Works Too!

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“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

Albert Einstein

I’m fortunate that I had the philosophy everything is a miracle from childhood. I’m lucky to be getting a refresher course in this truth! I reached out to a friend via email this morning, told her how looking out a window and seeing lights in a nearby house brought a smile.

It reminded me of manifesting a childhood goal.

I went on to explain the lights give a warm cozy vibe.  No sooner were the words down when I thought of yet another reason this place is a symbol of manifesting success.

A success to be considered and reviewed when going for new goals.

I Hope

For a long time the house stood empty.

Owners – retired – lived in another state and though caretakers – also in another state – came periodically – it was generally empty.

I remember telling this friend I hoped whoever moved in was a family.

It just seemed to be a house ideal for a family.

Time went on and there were no signs anything would be happening with the house.

To rent or to sell.

Though I hoped a family would eventually move in I released attachment to it and went about my life.

This morning as I typed the comment about the cozy vibe I thought how a family is now living in the house.

A very nice family.

I’ve no doubt it’s a good part of why the house gives off the warm and cozy vibe.

Everyone wins!

Even “I hope” brings manifesting results!

Introspection – Clothes Make the Career Mindset

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A well organized closet is a double-edged sword.  – Elizabeth

I’ve had a lifelong love-hate relationship with closets.  

When I was very young I had to share a very small closet with a sibling.  Because it really was too small to be functional a lot of stuff ended up getting shoved under beds in the room we shared.  

More than a feng shui no-no it was a great way to lose small items like socks.

In my early teens I had a closet that was bare.

And I mean bare.  Not better times in life.

In that case I pushed everything to one side and kept the sliding door closed over the other so it didn’t seem quite as empty.

In high school it became a place to put not only clothes but posters and other visual aids that inspired creativity.

Paving the way for my novels to become reality.

Closet Normal.  

Once I was fully entrenched in corporate my closet found itself organized for the simple fact every piece in it had a purpose.

Since many suits and blouses were Christmas and birthday gifts it also served as incentive to smile every time I looked inside.  

It also reminded me of a brilliant colleague – who left corporate to become a full-time writer – who advised me on dressing for the job I wanted not the one I had. 

 Thank you MT!

Tweaks Thanks to Advice from Mom.  

I’d just moved back to the Midwest from Silicon Valley, my closet filled with a hodge podge of Caliornia stuff alongside suits.

Messy – like my state of mind at that point.

My mom told me of a TV show on which a guest who was a professional organizer explained that most people wear 20% of their outfits 80% of the time.  Armed with that I did the first major wardrobe purge of my life.

I’d always donated what I outgrew or no longer needed but taking a hard look at what I truly wore was something I hadn’t done before.

Career Identity – The Clothing Evolution

Life in Silicon Valley – corporate clothing wise – was always more casual than the Midwest.

My first day of work in Santa Clara I ran into a sales guy in shorts, tank top, flip flops and sunglasses.  When I asked if he was on vacation he laughed and explained he was on his way to Intel and that his attire was not only right it was what he would see at his customer as well.

Rather than get rid of perfectly good suits I swapped out the skirts and pants for jeans.  

Colleagues would often say “You can take the girl out of the Midwest…” in response to my formal attire.

Career Identity Trouble Brews

Though I left corporate to pursue writing full-time I kept all the beautiful suits.  Unfortunately, wearing them to work on a novel didn’t feel right.

Or comfortable.

Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, however, felt too casual and stymied my creativity.

I didn’t feel like I was working.

About a year and a half later I decided to donate my suits.

I wasn’t wearing them and seeing them in the closet was keeping me stuck between my old career and my new one.

Career Identity Trouble Intensifies.

This was the beginning of a years long wrestle with my career wardrobe as every time I looked in my closet I felt confused.

And inadequate.

No Goldilocks In Sight.

I vascillated between overly formal which killed my ability to be creative…

Stemming no doubt from being physically uncomfortable/feeling physically confined.

And feeling like a bum because I was dressed so casually…

Inhibiting my ability to take my writing career as seriously as I had my corporate one.

Changes Outside Inside

Aaron supported me as I tried multiple versions of wardrobe pieces, taking effort to explain that in the time since I left corporate, things had become even more casual in terms of work wardrobe.

What I remembered from when I was there was no longer en Vogue.

For all his support, my psyche was still caught in conflict.

Too formal V. Too casual.

Irony

Perhaps the biggest irony is this now being an issue for thousands thanks to the Work From Home wave brought on by the pandemic.

Changes Inside Outside

The Closet Speaks

I’ve come to see recently that my closet was always a reflection of where I was along life’s path.  In terms of my career I have been successful in having what I needed but only this weekend past did I see that I have what I wanted, a wardrobe that reflects who I am – career-wise. Specifically, I came to see my casual work wardrobe has evolved as I have.

Career wise.

Over the past 2 or so years I’ve worked in pajamas, jeans, and t-shirts associated with the various series.

I’ve also put on more formal tops if the Muse moved me.

Though I understand the more comfortable I am the more likely the words will flow, it’s how I see myself as the writer that should drive what I wear.

It’s Attitude not Clothes!

There was a time when wearing pajamas and working on the couch got me down because I felt I shouldn’t do it.  It didn’t matter that I was highly prolific.  My mind was stuck back in corporate thinking What would people think if they saw me?

Slacker anyone?

Over recent months as I’ve made changes on my website and to my project calendar I have further tweaked my wardrobe to better reflect the changes that were every bit as internal as external. 

The Weekend Breakthrough.

This weekend past I spent time in a closet that was already cleaned and organized to see what if anything was tied to the old writer me.  I then took any items I felt fit that bill and put them into a donate bag.  

The idea being let go of what no longer serves.

Though I know that I, like my career, am still evolving, at least I will be journeying with less baggage.

Fewer items holding me in a place I have not been in a long time.

Interestingly, the most important work was done before I went through the closet.

Internally.

I needed to come to peace with who I have become in the years since leaving corporate long before thinning the wardrobe.

Be well and journey light!

END OF YEAR TRADITIONS

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I wanted to take a moment this holiday week and let everyone know how thankful I am for my readers.

And visitors to this site!

I am also thankful not only to my team but to all of those at WordPress, Smashwords, and other organizations who make this all possible.

I hope everyone has a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving week.  

Update

I will be offline for a bit.

Though I may be inspired to write a post.

I continue to work on projects but will be using the coming weeks to do a bit of introspection and self-evaluation.

This end-of-year tradition is a significant part of career planning.  

After a hectic 13 months I consider this a well-deserved and much needed break.

I will post and/or provide updates as appropriate but for now…

Happy Holidays 2022!