A Broken Dream Will Find a Way

emaxLeave a comment

I was born a writer with music in my heart.

Won my first fiction award in 1st grade.

The Path of the Creative Soul

Ginsu Moment

In 4th grade we were given a piccolo, taught scales.  Not long after a woman came to ask if any of us were interested in playing an instrument.  

Was music in our soul?

Ah music.

As a kid I watched my dad play drums while marching in Detroit in a St. Patrick’s Day parade, held the trophy he earned for excellence in piano, listened to the album of him singing and dancing on the Dany Kaye show.

I wanted to play drums.

The beat of my heart.

We were too poor to afford even renting so he got a practice pad and two drumsticks – plopped it on the sofa back and began teaching me.  

Eventually we were able to rent a snare which came in a black plastic case that weighed as much as I did.  Given I lived a haul from school carrying this along with all my heavy textbooks – I wasn’t in a good space.

Nuns on Broomsticks

Need I say more?  Really?  Okay…

I asked the principal (nun on a broomstick) if I could keep my drum in the office so I didn’t have to haul it back and forth every day.  

Given the hyena response you’d think she was in the audience of an SNL live opening.

“Girls have no business playing drums.”

Tell that to Cindy Lauper.

I did NOT want to give up drums.  The beat was in my heart, my soul.

My younger brother tried carrying it for me but it was too much.

Thanks for trying.  Thanks for seeing the music in me as I see the music in you.

I begged my dad to drive it back and forth but his job didn’t allow for it and we only had one working vehicle.

Two months later he handed a small black case to me.

Music is Music

It was a rented b-flat clarinet.

“Dad, I don’t want to play clarinet.  I want to play drums.”

He put a finger to ribs behind which a heart was beating. “You want to play music.”

I played clarinet for 13 years including a wonderful stint in orchestra.

I also played piano and tenor sax.

The Dream Breaks to be Born?

Is this what creativity is about?  

Highlander and the R in It

emaxLeave a comment

Happy New Year Peeps of the Earth!  Ready to share a bit of fun immersed in reality.

After 5 consecutive hours working on a fiction project I decided to do some music time.

For what it’s worth I tend to watch my favorite music on YouTube because due to the compression rate iTunes just doesn’t cut it.  Hoping they get their act together soon.

I was “listening to” Who Wants to Live Forever from Highlander.

Queen.

New Boss Same as the Old Boss

In 1992 I went to a Detroit Area Harmony House to get the soundtrack for the movie. I learned two very important details for my music lover life:

  • There is the orchestral soundtrack and there’s the QUEEN Soundtrack
  • Tariffs and other BS meant all Brit musicians (Queen, David Bowie, Rolling Stones) were no longer allowed to sell in the US

As I learned from a Harmony House manager who took pity on me and pulled a cassette from the back room – they’d been instructed to put all material from British musicians in some closet or other and were forbidden to sell to customers.

He puled a cassette of Queen’s It’s a Kind of Magic – likely because he saw I was on the verge of tears – and sold it to me.

What’s that saying about business? It’s about the people?

In watching the video something caught my eye.

To Give Context

I grew up a 30-minute drive from Canada. I grew up listening to French Canadian radio, watching French Canadian TV.  When it came time to choose a language to study in high school – French made more sense for me than Spanish.

The Easy Way isn’t ALWAYS the Easy Way

Most of my classmates took Spanish. When I asked them why – given we lived closer to French Canada than Mexico they told me- consistently – “Because it’s easy.”

Thanks to a benefactor I had the good fortune to do a working trip to Europe with a group of some 63 souls all of whom – with the exception of me – took Spanish in high school.

I also took Latin – won Magna Cum Laude in the National exam.

As It Happened

We were in Paris and something about the food tasted off to me.

I’d had a recent run-in with food poisoning thanks to a trip with my divorced dad to Tijuana Mexico.

Facing ridicule I nonetheless went to a Burger King for dinner.

Long story short I translated for the Parisian doctor called in to treat over 50 people for severe food poisoning.

One of whom had to be flown to New York to be admitted to a hospital.

Ginsu Knife

But wait!  There’s More!

When we were in the French Swiss Alps?  Everyone starving?  None of the people making sandwiches spoke English and I was the only one who spoke French.

Bad as my American accent was.

“What is JAM bon?”

“JambOn ? Ham.”

I translated for over 50 people so they could get lunch.

Translation

As it happens I was fortunate to have a French II teacher who was born and raised in Paris.  One of the skills she tried to translate was the role of the roll – pun intended – of the tongue in producing the R sound in French.

I got it though I’m more “hear it – translate it” type of language student.

Back to Front.

Pun intended.

I am a passionate Highlander fan.  So much so I read about Christopher Lambert – a Frenchman – having to learn to speak English for the role.  Just now?  Watching this video?  When he calls out “Heather!” ???

You can see the back of his tongue hitting the roof of his mouth for the R sound – normal to his native language – even as he’s calling out in English.

Classic.  

Like him and the movie.

I hope 2026 brings joy laughter love and much more to my readers.

Elizabeth

Corporate Life Before Me Too

emaxLeave a comment

Happy Holidays! 

Short post today.  

After sending holiday greetings to a former colleague – and ensuing back and forth – had a hilarious memory come up.

Funny now though not then.

Context

This is my tech cubicle days in Silicon Valley.  

I got along famously with a woman from the Philippines who had the cube next to me.  

A fly in the ointment.

The guy in the cube to her right was an interesting cat.  

He was a jerk.

To put it bluntly he was condescending to us both.

The irony?  I dealt with much worse while with the same company in Detroit.  

It was easy to face off with him after which he’d go slinking back to his cube.  I was always puzzled but honestly too busy to deal with it whereas my friend was upset by it.  

Until…

The Postman Rings

One day my colleague grabbed my wrist – pretty much forced me into a little side room.  I couldn’t recall ever seeing her so excited.

“He ordered a bride!”

????

“He ordered a bride – from a catalogue!”

“A catalogue?”

There was such a thing?!

Like hogs at a market?

“They print them – pictures and little write-ups.”

I didn’t bother to ask how she knew this.

After the dust of her enthusiasm – another piece I never asked about – WHY was she so happy about this?  I approached him.

“I heard you got married.  Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“How’d you guys meet?”

A romance writer I’m constantly asking people how they met their other halfs.

“A mail order catalogue.”

He made a point to tell me it was specific to Asian brides.

“Why?”

I was truly baffled – about all of it but especially about a region specific approach.

“So she’ll be obedient.”

Before Me Too

I don’t think I need to elaborate but I do remember my conversation.

My walk through corporate was certainly an adventure.

Nature V Nurture: The Holistic Approach

emaxLeave a comment

Does nature or nurture have more sway over the path we choose?

And how we turn out?

A good friend and I debated this throughout the years.

Often switching sides.

We listened respectfully while walking on lunch hours or after work and made arguments for our beliefs.

Was it that we were taught good manners or that we have a passion for understanding that drove this cooperation for a potentially contentious subject?

At the end of the day I think we were saying the same thing in different ways but in debating we gained knowledge and perspective.

We learned of a world neither knew existed.  

A world forged by experience and while that suggests nurture whatever was in our nature enabled us to navigate that experience in a way that shaped who we became.

What’s New?

I came across an article today that had me considering

  • I was ahead of my time 
  • I had such an innate feeling it was the right way I walked the holistic path in the face of incredible criticism and among a large circle of influence that went in the opposite direction

Was I born to follow the holistic [read natural/traditional] way or was I shaped by my experiences?

Nurture

As I discuss in my podcasts I witnessed what happens when individuals follow a certain philosophy of healing and yes, this entrenched my natural proclivity to go Mother Nature’s route.

The route that got us this far.

It was heartbreaking to watch loved ones who put their faith in the allopathic way suffer.

Nature

For as long as I can remember – going back to 4 years of age I instinctively knew when someone was sad, tired, hurting.  I frequently approached these individuals to see how I could help.

Though I have a memory of this behavior going back before kindergarten there’s a story related to me by my mom that illustrates it started much earlier.

I discuss in a podcast

My parents lost many classmates to the Vietnam War and many of the men who returned weren’t in a good space.  One afternoon my mom took me to a local park.  I was just walking and talking.  We ran into a gentleman in a wheelchair.  Apparently I approached and asked, “Where are your legs?”  

Worrying I’d rubbed salt in a wound my mom was quick to apologize.  His response is the nature part of this equation.

“This is the first time I’ve laughed and smiled since coming home.”

Nature and Nurture Meet

When I read the article, one bit stood out.

“Meditation was all this ‘woo-woo stuff’ but now, seeing all these advances in neuroscience and showing changes in brain waves from functional magnetic resonance imaging, which we couldn’t do before – actually being able to trace the pathways that lead to changes in health measurements – I think this is really, really exciting,” she says.”

Nurture

This information was known and studied in the late 70s if not before.  My dad and I would watch various pieces from 60 Minutes to documentaries on the subject.

Nature

It’s in my nature to want to understand the science and research behind Mother Nature’s gifts.  This need to understand inspired me to go back to school to study what I’d been living:  Holistic healing.  As a result I learned in class that in the 90s Tibetan monks – some of the world’s superior meditators – had been hooked up to EEGs and undergone brain scans and all sorts of what I’m guessing were invasive medical tests – all in the name of research into the health benefits of meditation.  

I read the research papers as part of my class work.

A Real-Life Twist

Readers know that when I was 10 I fell off a diving board and had a brain bleed that left me blind paralyzed on my left side and in a coma.  Over the course of my recovery – and likely due to my nature – I forged a beautiful friendship with the neurosurgeon who saved my life.  

Whenever I visit Michigan I make a point to stop by and say hi.

On a recent trip I brought my family with me.  After a bit of small talk he mentioned something I’d written in one of the letters I’ve been sending since I was 12 and my family moved out of state.

Meditation.

He told me of the science behind why meditation is so good for the brain after which he encouraged me to keep on the holistic path.  

A man of science I also know him as a man of faith and a man who understands the role of traditional healing.

As my story illustrates Nature and Nurture are not an either or but part of a circular dance that has been going on for centuries with plenty of enlightened individuals on both sides of the equation.

Be well.

Note: I’ve been using homeopathy successfully for decades, trained by a British ENT surgeon.

Career – Making Your Way

emaxLeave a comment

Listening to Woman by John Lennon and thinking of one of those transformational moments in life.

Career life.

A total neophyte I was part of a district that supported Automotive OEMs and their supply chains. 

After years of experience and education I became an international supply chain expert.

 Regarding the OEM I was part of what became known as the GM C4 program.

This was back in the day of beepers.

As part of the effort to prove my mettle I was handed my very first beeper on a Friday afternoon and told there was a good chance it would go off in the middle of the night after which

I had to call the number

I probably had to follow instructions lest millions of dollars per hour would be lost – by our customer.

Oh – and if I had to go on-site?  Bad part of town.

Leroy Brown anyone?

The irony – unlike my colleagues who tended to be 15 – 25 years older – I’d spent a good deal of my childhood in the “bad part of town.”

Wasn’t so bad “back then.”  Those days came after Colman Young chased everyone – including the job providing corporations – to the suburbs – which happened when I was 4 – 6 years old. A witness.

My Heart – Detroit

Unlike my colleagues I wasn’t afraid to go to Detroit.  Still – stupid to send me there at 2 – 3 in the morning to walk by myself to the parking lot GM reserved for “Vendors.”

Surprised they didn’t put us in the dumpster.

It was a 2 – 3 block walk in the dark.

In the “bad” part of town.

There’s a WRIF Drew and Mike go round about this that is insightful – about needing tennis shoes so you could run from your car to your office in a manner that gave you a chance to outrun the muggers.

Sure Enough

As the moon was dark.

My beeper went off at 2am.

I was 22.

I rolled from bed, called the number, confirmed the system was down.

They would lose – as I understood it – $100 million an hour for every hour they were down.

This is global supply chain.

I promised I would be on-site as soon as I got dressed – they knew I’d been asleep – confirmed with my colleague who would meet me at “the parking lot.”

Asphalt patch of space 2 – 3 blocks from GM HQ downtown Detroit.

It was raining.

Typical Michigan March.

The colleague who was to meet me beeped so I called – agreed to the location.  He was adamant I understood the exact location which meant at 2:35 am I had to explain why I knew downtown Detroit better than any of my older suburbian coworkers.

Including him – who lived in Milford and had just cleared a bunch of trees from his newly purchased lot to build his McMansion.

Made It

Though I brought my own umbrella – it was pouring – he showed up on the asphalt with an umbrella – escorted me to the GM building.

The Elevator

We shut our umbrellas – checked in with the guard who seemed antsy – about me.  When we got on the elevator my coworker instructed me to look up at the corner.  Apparently there was a camera.  He said, “It’s so if someone on the elevator assaults you…”

Oh just yay.

The Lab

He walks me to a chair – I’m … a mental confusion mess – asks if he can bring me coffee.

Coffee?  I don’t drink coffee.

Not until after I became a sleep deprived parent decades later.

I only started to feel human once I recognized the “stuff” on the VJ290.

That’s a computer monitor from the past for those of you just joining us.  Before WYZYWYG.

I don’t think the decision makers in terms of my career thought I had what it took before that night and they’ve moved on but I can be proud because I did good.

That Tiny Nagging Voice

emaxLeave a comment

At this point in my life when my nagging inner voice suggests I need to do something I pause to consider

  • Does it have to be now?
  • Do I feel like doing it?
  • Will something get messed up if I ignore it?

Does It Have to Be Now?

I’ve learned to distinguish how important a suggestion is by discerning how insistent the little voice is.

The more it nags the bigger the repercussions if I don’t listen.

Do I Feel Like Doing It?

If I’ve got inertia going I evaluate whether something needs to be done that moment, that day, that week.

I also consider whether inertia is boredom or something deeper.

Will Something Get Messed Up If I Ignore It?

One of the most painful lessons I’ve learned – one that still haunts me – what happens when I ignore the voice – regardless of how loud or soft it’s whispering.

I haven’t forgiven myself and yes I know I need to work on it.

The silver lining is I have a true understanding of the repercussions of ignoring the voice trying to guide me out of a bad situation and/or into a good one.

Case In Point

Last night while meditating I realized I forgot to mail 3 cards.  After calming the initial panic I mentally said “Hey another reason to take a second morning walk.”

It’s several miles to the post office.

Before drifting off I reminded myself there was no urgency.

Or So I Thought

This morning the inner voice said “Do the cards now.”  

I didn’t feel like doing the cards.

Like I said there was no urgency.

Turn Up the Volume

The next time the inner voice spoke it shouted. “Do the cards now!”

I did the cards.

Next Order

It was earlier than I would normally do a second morning walk but the naggy little voice insisted I 

  • Go to the post office
  • Take My Wallet

Take my wallet?  Why?  I’m not going to buy anything!  I’m walking to the post office and back and that’s it.

Louder

“Take your wallet and put business cards in it!”

I’d run out from handing them out.

Okay fine.

As I started down the sidewalk I said “Okay God, it’s obvious there’s someone I’m supposed to see/meet.”

Which is why the timing was so important.

Next Order

While walking I mentally calculated which return route I would take.  

You know, just to shake things up?

“Go to Starbucks.”

WHAT?!

“Go to Starbucks.”

“I’m not going to Starbucks!”

I had a pot of coffee waiting at home!

Louder

As in shouting.

“GO TO STARBUCKS!”

Knowing how things go when I ignore the naggy little voice – let alone a naggy shouting voice – I calculated my route so it would take me to Starbucks.

As It Happens

It all comes together.

As I was walking toward the door I saw a very pretty lady coming toward me.  Smiling I wished her a good morning.

Coming round to start back home I saw her staring into the distance.  I asked if she needed help.  She smiled and explained she was looking at a car that had Merry Christmas across the trunk.  Following her line of sight I saw and smiled.

Now It Truly Comes Together

I was about to walk on when she asked if she could ask a question.  

“Why are you limping?”

I explained I’d had a subdural hematoma from falling off a diving board, was paralyzed on my left side and when I’m tired I limp.

Her Response

“I had a stroke.”

Mind and Spirit.

We had a wonderful back and forth – one I think helped us both.  

While people can empathize there’s something about talking with someone who’s been there that helps you feel understood if not whole.

As the conversation wound down she asked my name.  Explaining I’m a holistic doctor I pulled out one of those business cards the naggy little voice insisted I take with me and handed it over.

It pays to listen.

Soothsayer Now Available

emaxLeave a comment

Pleased to announce Soothsayer, a Paranormal Journeys Story is now available.  Second in the Port Gallatan series this is the story of Fiona whose attempt to walk away from the paranormal brings her up close and personal to the fact we can’t walk away from who and what we are.

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it.

At Times Everyone Needs Help

Though appreciative of their love and guidance, abuse survivor Fiona Gladstone is tired of living in the shadow of her elder siblings who always seem to have the answers.

Everyone Needs a Break

Burnt out from the havoc the paranormal has wrought in her life she’s more than ready for a little peace and quiet so she can figure out what’s next.

Everyone Needs a Plan

When sexy rocker Clint Maverick offers to help her figure that out, Fiona jumps at the chance, unaware that finding a new start will bring her face to face with a past she’s desperately trying to walk away from.

You Matter

emaxLeave a comment

I’ve written and spoken in podcasts about how a buddy of mine in the Bay Area fished me out of the murky waters of post-pandemic burnout.  

The Beginning

It was so bad I wound up in the ER.

Fortunately, no health issues.

A passionate walker for decades I dragged myself out of miserable mornings and put one foot in front of the other day after day, week after week, month after month.  Didn’t matter the weather – pouring rain, snow, record-breaking heat, I kept it up.

Initially I spent the time mentally combing through my life and wondering how the hell I got there.  After all I’d been through so much worse.  

On Impulse

Over past decades I’d kept in touch with a buddy I worked with in tech, emailing then eventually texting. One morning I asked – given he was getting ready to brave Silicon Valley traffic – if it was okay I “brought him” on my walks by texting him.  

Sending him pics of sunrises, fogged skies/misty mornings, beautiful foliage, holiday decorations.

At the time I was going so early it was dark and while I saw a few souls walking or jogging I was pretty much alone.

Well, me and my phone light.

Mutual Benefit

He was more than happy to exchange the occasional text – some before getting in the car – some after he got to work.  

In the course of dialogue it came to light he was going through his own struggle.  He’d been taking care of his mom for eons and it got to a point he needed help.  I’m sure readers can fill in the blanks of the stress involved with finding a place where his mom would get the best care and having to deal with the house and other details.

Day after day, week after week, month after month I listened via text as he shared the challenges of finding an apartment close to where his mom would be, of the stress and chaos of getting the home that had been in his family since the 70s ready to sell – by himself.

No siblings.

He listened as I sorted through a roller coaster of emotions and faced incredible anxiety.

Family

I want to note I absolutely had the support of my family but they had their stress too.  Having my buddy meant they could address their own post-Covid chaos.

A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis?

This morning a good friend sent a video – Diary of a CEO: A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis? in which a gentleman talks about the impact of texting someone to let them know someone is there.

Someone.

This man’s commentary perfectly summarizes the healing texting did for my buddy and me.

Beyond Text

In an age in which many people are trying to do digital detox I can add that over those days/weeks/months I came across a number of individuals out pounding the pavement.

Face to Face Human Interaction.

Some walking dogs, some jogging, some riding bikes, – many just walking.

Often with flashlights.

Over time we began to smile – seeing each other every morning it seemed the polite thing to do.  I began introducing myself. 

You Matter.

Me:

“I look forward to seeing you every morning.”

“It makes my life better to see you in the morning.”

“You always look so pulled together as you’re walking to work.”

I met people who play in the orchestra, who are passionate Rolling Stones fans, who lived overseas…

People of all age groups – yep kiddos waiting for the bus – ALWAYS wish them a good day 

Taking time to connect pays in a myriad of ways big and small and goes in both directions.

Don’t hesitate to tell people they matter.

Be well.

Healing Frequencies: Fiction Meets Reality

emaxLeave a comment

I’ve long said I draw from imagination, education, and experience when writing my fiction.  Today proved that out in a way I wouldn’t have imagined.

Pun intended.

I’m working on the opening scene for Gimme Shelter, a Port Gallatan story.  One of the characters has recently recovered from an injury that almost ended his musical career.

This is explained in detail in Soothsayer which will be available soon.

The character is reflecting on another character’s suggestion to use a Tens machine to aid his recovery.  While this scene was created from imagination it turns out I have a bit of experience with Tens technology.

A Tens machine stimulates nerves through electrical pulses transmitted through skin.

Then 

Years back an orthopedist suggested I get a “tune-up” for my left leg which was paralyzed after I fell off a diving board at the age of ten and suffered a subdural hematoma.  As a result when I become overly tired I have a tendency to trip on that side.  He felt the therapy tune-up would help.

It did.

As part of the tune-up they attached a Tens machine to an area above my left knee that – after 24 years – was still numb to the touch.

As of this blog that area is no longer numb.

And Now

A few weeks back after an x-ray showed my left arm break not healing well the PA working with me asked if I’d be up for electrical stimulation after which she clarified insurance wouldn’t cover it til after 90 days had gone by.

One:  I was open to the use of Tens

Two: I was determined I wouldn’t need it and that upon the next visit I would have new bone growth

Three: I didn’t come out and say it but I think she knew – it wasn’t slow bone growth. I screwed up.  I’d gone on a business trip and while at the airport – out of instinct – grabbed a wheelie to put on the escalator.  I felt sharp pain and knew – just knew in my gut I undid all the healing in the weeks since the break.

Aaron knew it too – he saw me go chalk white from pain and I saw his expression.

Needless to say we had a “discussion” about me letting him manage the wheelies.

She was gracious enough to not say anything though she did gently implore me to allow others to help instead of trying to do things for myself.

A tall order but I acquiesced.

Home Tens To the Rescue

Two days later while meditating I got the word Silva in my mind followed by The Alpha Frequency.

This is a frequency Jose Silva observed brought people “to level” where they could solve all sorts of problems.

I then remembered. One of the success stories we heard during the BLS involved a man in Texas.  He was in the hospital with a fracture of the femur that wasn’t healing well.  Jose was alerted to this by a member of the community that knew of his work with healing.  He brought a portable tape recorder with him to visit the man instructing him to play the cassette while holding the tape player so that the speaker was directly on top of the break.

As per teachings he was to do this 3x/day.

The man’s bone healed quickly after that.  

Fascinated I asked how students might take advantage of this option given we were way past the age of cassettes.

Though years before mp3s.

As I lay in bed I considered – given we ARE in the age of mp3 – how could I emulate that experience?  My first thought was to use the speaker from my iPhone.

I have the Alpha frequency in mp3 format in a playlist.

Deciding it wasn’t practical I considered my routine – decided to play it on my laptop while holding my casted arm as close to the speaker as possible.  To help – I hoped – I pressed the cast against the laptop.  My thinking was the vibration would be picked up/transmitted through the material.

On the return visit – though I was expecting a ½ cast I was told I needed no cast.  The bone had healed that much – in weeks.

I was given a brace to wear when driving or outdoors but otherwise told to do what I do naturally to help loosen muscle that tightened – Mother Nature’s way of protecting healing bone – to loosen and function normally.

Today

It’s my final x-ray after a journey of healing.  I wanted to share that the Alpha frequency as recorded by Jose Silva – and the instructors of his method – is truly healing.  I highly recommend the BLS but it would be interesting to see if people who hadn’t taken the class but use the frequency get healing benefit.  I suggest visiting silvamethod.com to find where you can purchase the Alpha sound.

Be well

New Fiction: Project Update

emaxLeave a comment

Hope everyone is doing well.  I’m excited to announce after years in which I never thought I’d be able to write again…

Thank you post-Covid burnout.

I’m about to release a work of fiction and already at work on the follow-up.

Soothsayer – a Port Gallatan novel – was released some years ago.  I was never satisfied with it so I pulled it, set it aside.

Never thought I’d touch it again – just assumed I’d work on the follow-on which will launch into a sub-series I’m really excited about.

The Idea That Won’t Die

The same challenge that haunted me years ago has been eating up mental cycles in recent months.  I wanted to move on to this very cool sub-series but there was another book that had to happen first and for that to happen – I had to release the follow-on to Port In a Storm.

Any other way would be a betrayal to the series and my vision for it.

Digging deep I pulled together the same energy that put me on this path in 2011 when I published Riding the Waves.

Courage to face the unknown.

I edited the manuscript, updated it with an eye to how the winds of fiction shift.

In terms of manuscript this translates to grammar as well as the potential for an oversaturated market.

I’m proud to say Soothsayer will be available soon.

With Gimme Shelter in the works.

Release dates TBD.

I’m also determined to make Podcast 4 work.

Stay tuned.