That Tiny Nagging Voice

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At this point in my life when my nagging inner voice suggests I need to do something I pause to consider

  • Does it have to be now?
  • Do I feel like doing it?
  • Will something get messed up if I ignore it?

Does It Have to Be Now?

I’ve learned to distinguish how important a suggestion is by discerning how insistent the little voice is.

The more it nags the bigger the repercussions if I don’t listen.

Do I Feel Like Doing It?

If I’ve got inertia going I evaluate whether something needs to be done that moment, that day, that week.

I also consider whether inertia is boredom or something deeper.

Will Something Get Messed Up If I Ignore It?

One of the most painful lessons I’ve learned – one that still haunts me – what happens when I ignore the voice – regardless of how loud or soft it’s whispering.

I haven’t forgiven myself and yes I know I need to work on it.

The silver lining is I have a true understanding of the repercussions of ignoring the voice trying to guide me out of a bad situation and/or into a good one.

Case In Point

Last night while meditating I realized I forgot to mail 3 cards.  After calming the initial panic I mentally said “Hey another reason to take a second morning walk.”

It’s several miles to the post office.

Before drifting off I reminded myself there was no urgency.

Or So I Thought

This morning the inner voice said “Do the cards now.”  

I didn’t feel like doing the cards.

Like I said there was no urgency.

Turn Up the Volume

The next time the inner voice spoke it shouted. “Do the cards now!”

I did the cards.

Next Order

It was earlier than I would normally do a second morning walk but the naggy little voice insisted I 

  • Go to the post office
  • Take My Wallet

Take my wallet?  Why?  I’m not going to buy anything!  I’m walking to the post office and back and that’s it.

Louder

“Take your wallet and put business cards in it!”

I’d run out from handing them out.

Okay fine.

As I started down the sidewalk I said “Okay God, it’s obvious there’s someone I’m supposed to see/meet.”

Which is why the timing was so important.

Next Order

While walking I mentally calculated which return route I would take.  

You know, just to shake things up?

“Go to Starbucks.”

WHAT?!

“Go to Starbucks.”

“I’m not going to Starbucks!”

I had a pot of coffee waiting at home!

Louder

As in shouting.

“GO TO STARBUCKS!”

Knowing how things go when I ignore the naggy little voice – let alone a naggy shouting voice – I calculated my route so it would take me to Starbucks.

As It Happens

It all comes together.

As I was walking toward the door I saw a very pretty lady coming toward me.  Smiling I wished her a good morning.

Coming round to start back home I saw her staring into the distance.  I asked if she needed help.  She smiled and explained she was looking at a car that had Merry Christmas across the trunk.  Following her line of sight I saw and smiled.

Now It Truly Comes Together

I was about to walk on when she asked if she could ask a question.  

“Why are you limping?”

I explained I’d had a subdural hematoma from falling off a diving board, was paralyzed on my left side and when I’m tired I limp.

Her Response

“I had a stroke.”

Mind and Spirit.

We had a wonderful back and forth – one I think helped us both.  

While people can empathize there’s something about talking with someone who’s been there that helps you feel understood if not whole.

As the conversation wound down she asked my name.  Explaining I’m a holistic doctor I pulled out one of those business cards the naggy little voice insisted I take with me and handed it over.

It pays to listen.

Soothsayer Now Available

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Pleased to announce Soothsayer, a Paranormal Journeys Story is now available.  Second in the Port Gallatan series this is the story of Fiona whose attempt to walk away from the paranormal brings her up close and personal to the fact we can’t walk away from who and what we are.

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it.

At Times Everyone Needs Help

Though appreciative of their love and guidance, abuse survivor Fiona Gladstone is tired of living in the shadow of her elder siblings who always seem to have the answers.

Everyone Needs a Break

Burnt out from the havoc the paranormal has wrought in her life she’s more than ready for a little peace and quiet so she can figure out what’s next.

Everyone Needs a Plan

When sexy rocker Clint Maverick offers to help her figure that out, Fiona jumps at the chance, unaware that finding a new start will bring her face to face with a past she’s desperately trying to walk away from.

New Fiction: Project Update

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Hope everyone is doing well.  I’m excited to announce after years in which I never thought I’d be able to write again…

Thank you post-Covid burnout.

I’m about to release a work of fiction and already at work on the follow-up.

Soothsayer – a Port Gallatan novel – was released some years ago.  I was never satisfied with it so I pulled it, set it aside.

Never thought I’d touch it again – just assumed I’d work on the follow-on which will launch into a sub-series I’m really excited about.

The Idea That Won’t Die

The same challenge that haunted me years ago has been eating up mental cycles in recent months.  I wanted to move on to this very cool sub-series but there was another book that had to happen first and for that to happen – I had to release the follow-on to Port In a Storm.

Any other way would be a betrayal to the series and my vision for it.

Digging deep I pulled together the same energy that put me on this path in 2011 when I published Riding the Waves.

Courage to face the unknown.

I edited the manuscript, updated it with an eye to how the winds of fiction shift.

In terms of manuscript this translates to grammar as well as the potential for an oversaturated market.

I’m proud to say Soothsayer will be available soon.

With Gimme Shelter in the works.

Release dates TBD.

I’m also determined to make Podcast 4 work.

Stay tuned.

The Healing Power of Experience

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It’s been an interesting day, starting early with a routine that included checking headlines to see if the Martians had landed.

Tongue-in-cheek – goes back to my high school “I have to read Ray Bradbury” days.

A London Times article – Social media is dead — none of my friends are posting any more caught my attention.

With a line putting me in the mind of an app that helps people spend less time on devices.

But Wait There’s More!

Ginsu knife anyone?

This isn’t a promo ad.

Double-Edge Sword

Long before the cell phone came along technology was changing society.  It takes time to see patterns and it takes hindsight to see the extent of the change.  And then comes judgment.

The technology that saves lives can disrupt lives.  It’s something we have to navigate.

So Navigate

I published my first book in 2011.  

I always thought my first book would be a novel; didn’t pan out.

A holistic healer, I intended my work help others.  

People who, like me, were suffering from EMF Sensitivity.

Life Happens

My dance with EMF Sensitivity sent me in a different direction though I didn’t give up on my dream.

I spent ensuing years alternating fiction and nonfiction projects.

That’s Nasty

Soon after I published I encountered my first Internet troll.  

It devastated me. 

 It took 7 years to recover from one person’s comment.

8 billion humans on this planet and I get a comment that destroys my soul and lands me in the sewer for 7 years..

One human being on planet earth shredded me for 7 years.

What helped me get past deep wounds left by someone I’d never met was listening to the sage advice of people who had more experience than me.

People who’d been there, who understood.

My angels of the heart happened to be teenage kids. Though expressed differently – as per their vernacular – each said “Oh, goes with the territory of putting yourself out there.”

Which they’d been doing for years in an environment that is – in some respects – harsher than what I was dealing with in my isolated corner of the web.

Pay It Forward.

Recent events have – at times – shaken those same angels.  I’ve been able to help by drawing from life experience.

  • Vietnam

I was a child but my parents’ friends …

I recount specifics in my podcasts

  • We Will Bury You

I was a child but conversations with my maternal grandmother helped me put bomb shelters in the back yard in perspective

  • Recession After Recession 

By the time I was 40 I’d gone through 4

Detroit experiences one about every 10 years.  

I gave words of comfort without being condescending.  

I didn’t pretend to understand.

Some experiences are universal and history may repeat itself but teens today are growing up in a world I never knew. Cell phones? iPads? The microwave was new technology when I was growing up.

So was Atari and Apple IIe.

I had a rotary dial wall phone in my house!

I believe I was able to convey that as a society we’ve been in tough spots before – that I feel people want to work together for the common good.  

The issue is there are different definitions of the common good.

General and Specific

Later today.

I was about to get back to my first fiction project since post-Covid burnout when I got another opportunity to pay it forward.

With a stranger.

Fulfilling a Dream

Right up my manifesting alley.

A young woman creating a film was seeking help with filming locations.  Rather than suggesting locations to scout I gave words of encouragement and praised the beautiful amazing experience of seeing a vision – what started as a thought or a whisper in the soul – come to life.  

It was – from what I could tell – appreciated.

Be well

Hauntings and EMF Sensitivity

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Just in time for Halloween

I love when science validates my work after-the-fact.  From an article on possible explanations for supposed hauntings:

Of course, there are some cases of ‘hauntings’ for which there is evidence of some physical phenomena: magnetic, pressure or temperature variations…

Right up my EMF Sensitivity Alley!

I cover this along with information on dealing with real hauntings in-depth in my app Destination Unknown: Explorations of the Paranormal.

I include locations throughout the world where I’ve experienced true hauntings.

The Whaley House in Old Town San Diego is haunted as validated by the US Government.  

Having had my own experiences there, I agree.

My app and accompanying workbook are filled with examples of logical scientific explanations of paranormal phenomenon, including the fact spirits themselves are an EMF and thus subject to the laws of physics.

Lots of tools and strategies to deal with this sometimes bothersome frequency are included along with stories of how and why I used them. 

Before I close out I want to leave you with a bit of irony.  

This meme came across my path today.  It put me in the mind of the following experience I had over a decade ago while visiting Salem, MA with my family.

Enjoy and Happy Halloween.  

May it be filled with more treats than tricks.

From my book on the subject.

Not currently available.

The House of the Seven Gables

I thoroughly enjoyed touring the historic home.  

I love Colonial architecture – especially brick structures.

The Revolutionary War period is one of my favorites.

Of US history.

 Toward the end of the tour, we went into the beautiful master bedroom.  The guide stood near the fireplace and talked about the furniture, the family, and the town’s history.  Not long into the discussion, the ghost of John Turner III appeared.  

Arms crossed in front of his chest, with ankles also crossed, he was floating on the other side of the fireplace. 

 He was leaning back, even as he floated, listening as the guide talked about former owners, including him.

He seemed amused and nodded several times during the guide’s speech.

When the guide began talking about how John Turner III lost the house and the family fortune, another ghost appeared.

“I’ll tell you what happened,” the second ghost snapped, “he was a fool.”

At this point, John Turner III unfolded his arms, stood up and faced the other ghost.

His father, John Turner II.

“I was not a fool,” he replied calmly, “I was being cautious.  There was no way to know the colonists would win.”

While the guide explained that John Turner the III was suspected of being a Loyalist, the two ghosts continued to argue.

“The correct word is Royalist,” the son said with an impatient air.

This is the same term the spirit near the Customs House used: Royalist.

His father replied, “Which you were, and a fool besides.”

“How could I have known?” the son asked.

“You should have known,” the father growled back.  “You would have, if you’d thought about it from a business perspective.”

At this point the son rolled his eyes. 

Obviously, this was an old argument.  

As I listened to father and son go at it, I dug my nails into my palms to keep from laughing.  

The guide was doing a great job and I didn’t want to appear rude.

What I learned from listening to the ghosts was that John Turner III had assumed the British Crown would put down the Colonist rebellion.  He’d planned to benefit from that outcome.

He was in shipping and had been making deals with the Crown.  

Obviously, he’d thrown his lot in with the wrong side and centuries later, his father was still berating him for his stupidity.

“The boy was a fool,” he growled.

Father and son spirits were still arguing when we left.  As we proceeded down to the next room on the tour, I told Aaron what I’d seen and heard. 

“It was all I could do to keep from laughing.”

I decided not to tell the guide what I’d experienced.  

Something told me he wouldn’t take it well.

From There to Here: The Journey

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The journey to pursue my dream of being a writer is nothing like I envisioned when I left corporate in 2003.

3 months after being awarded a doctorate in holistic health.

I certainly never thought I’d come face to face with EMF Sensitivity which sent my vision on a serious detour.

From fiction writing.

While I’m the proud author of a number of fiction works nonfiction continues to take a significant place in my work and my life.

I have a passion for drawing on knowledge and experience to help others.

And then there’s the apps. 

Though I spent decades in tech with programming experience in multiple languages it had been years since I’d done any programming.  

Aaron to the Rescue!

My husband who supported my dreams from when I shared them on our first date and who’s been my partner in the madness of leaving safety to follow a dream offered to write the code if I gave him the content and the intent.

I’m proud of my work as all of it has been created with a passion for helping others.

Fiction is a wonderful way to explore a world you never knew existed and to take your mind off your troubles.

I can add that I’m hard at work on Podcast 4: Dealing with stressful and toxic environments holistically.

Dreams Take Decades

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Just released an upcoming app to a beta tester** – listening to tunes to chill.

Separate Ways by Journey.

Glanced over to see the cover of a Metatron’s Army series notebook.

I was 16 when this series born of interesting creative life circumstances appeared in my mind’s eye.

The visual download was overwhelming.

The universe.  I drew it in pencil on typing paper I stuck to my bedroom wall.

Using toothpaste because we were renting and tape would pull paint off.  We’d be ding’d by the landlord.

Fast forward decades to publishing a story that lived in my soul for over 3 decades.  I decided having a visual cue would help so turned to a member of my team.

Um.

He proceded to tell me everything wrong with my drawing.

The “star” was too close to certain planets and the aspect ratio of the system was way off.

We had a discussion during which I listened and respected his expertise even as my heart pounded off my chest.  

I was in the process of releasing a story to the world no words could do justice to.

The Expert.

It was evident he wanted a happy customer.

I had to accept he had a handle on this I didn’t.

I told him to do as he saw fit.

That Notebook?

When I first saw it?  I got tears in my eyes. My chest felt tight.  

He somehow managed to design an image that filled a gaping hole in my soul.

Never stop believing in your dreams.

They never stop believing in you.

** App is for those dealing with Esoteric EMFs.

Metal in the Brain: EMF Life

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It’s been a busy afternoon in EMF land.  I’m about to release an app and Handbook focused on Esoteric EMFs.

  

  • Ghosts
  • Psi
  • Hauntings
  • Sacred Spaces
  • Sensitivity to other People

And how these frequencies interact with and are impacted by

  • Geologic
  • Atmospheric
  • Technologic

EM frequencies.

Filled with tools and strategies that eliminate the negative impact of Esoteric frequencies the app and Handbook will appeal to novice and expert, to skeptic and believer alike.

As I was decompressing with music my mind drifted to one of my favorite human beings in the world.  My high school physics teacher Mr. Robert Parys.  I will never forget the day he learned I had a metal clip in my brain.

Titanium it was put in to stop bleeding from a subdural hematoma the result of falling off a diving board and hitting my chin on it on the way into the pool when I was 10 years of age.

He was – in a word – horrified.

“There’s metal in your brain?!”

As a 16-year-old I wasn’t particularly appreciative of the attention this got me.

I was the only female in the class of about 20.  Everyone turned to me expressions startled and horrified. You know – like I had a disease? 

Can we say “Yay?”

Note:  I had girlfriends who took physics.  They just had classes during a different time period.

To make matters worse – for me – he asked me to stay after class.

You can imagine what it was like to hear male feet shuffling by as they left. The sideways glances.

Oh just yay.

I tried pointing out I needed to get to my next class but he told me he’d write a note.

Joy.

The discussion led to more questions – his – than could be managed so he invited me to stay after school so he could learn more.  I had a job so this wasn’t easy but he was persuasive it would be worth my while.

I liked Mr. Parys.  He had a good sense of humor and related to students in a way that let them know he really cared about them, their dreams, goals, their success in life.

He spent time doing what he could to help students achieve their dreams.

Though I spent time answering his questions about life in the wake of an NDE with a metal clip in my head he is the one who gave the gift. Sharing his insight and access to materials meant I was able to conduct scientific research that helped me feel okay at a time when I didn’t…

I was still limping heavily after being paralyzed and my hair was still growing out after being shaved for emergency brain surgery.  You could still see a pretty big scar on my skull. Not a fun thing for a self-conscious teenage girl.

The groundwork he helped lay has led to the release of this app and Handbook.

Work that will help the world the way he helped his students.

His legacy lives on.

Teachers are amazing people who are often under appreciated.

I’m ever so grateful this one crossed my path.

The world benefits because he was a part of it.

RIP Mr. Parys.

Ice Cream Man: We Need to Tell our Stories

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I volunteer to help kids with literacy.  I showed up on a recent day and was asked if I’d be willing to work with a special needs child because the specialist had to call out.  Happy to do so I soon found myself in a secluded part of a hallway listening to a little boy read about a tour of an ice cream factory.

The nature of the program means the volunteers and students find places to sit together which may be in an overcrowded room with a cacophany of voices or in a hall where students changing classes walk by.

At one point he looked at me and asked “Why so many screams?”

This was after watching him struggle with the fact he was trying to form the thought.  Telling him to take his time seemed to help him relax and articulate what was on his mind.

Why So Many Screams?

I immediately picked up his concern over the word scream but also knew he lacked context.  I quickly explained it was a childhood rhyme.

I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream.

I suspected my explanation didn’t fly because he wasn’t familiar with the rhyme so I quickly explained it was something kids would call out when chasing the ice cream man.  This necessitated I explain what the ice cream man was.

And why kids would be chasing him.

I admit – I have not seen or heard an ice cream man in all the years I’ve lived in this region of the country but that didn’t stop me from telling this sweet boy

“I’m old.  When I was little in Michigan my friends and me would chase the ice cream man – you could hear him coming by the music in his truck – yelling “I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream.”

I watched him think over the honest explanation then slowly nod.  And then he smiled.

A beautiful smile that lit up his features.

He said “I can’t wait to tell my mom.”

I don’t know if his mom is a translplant from another part of the country – maybe a place where she grew up hearing the telltale sound of an ice cream truck coming in her direction – but it reinforces my belief that we need to share stories with our kids

and grandkids …

I saw first hand how the lack of knowledge confused and alarmed.

We need to tell our stories

To share wisdom and give context.

And to reassure.