Nature V Nurture: The Holistic Approach

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Does nature or nurture have more sway over the path we choose?

And how we turn out?

A good friend and I debated this throughout the years.

Often switching sides.

We listened respectfully while walking on lunch hours or after work and made arguments for our beliefs.

Was it that we were taught good manners or that we have a passion for understanding that drove this cooperation for a potentially contentious subject?

At the end of the day I think we were saying the same thing in different ways but in debating we gained knowledge and perspective.

We learned of a world neither knew existed.  

A world forged by experience and while that suggests nurture whatever was in our nature enabled us to navigate that experience in a way that shaped who we became.

What’s New?

I came across an article today that had me considering

  • I was ahead of my time 
  • I had such an innate feeling it was the right way I walked the holistic path in the face of incredible criticism and among a large circle of influence that went in the opposite direction

Was I born to follow the holistic [read natural/traditional] way or was I shaped by my experiences?

Nurture

As I discuss in my podcasts I witnessed what happens when individuals follow a certain philosophy of healing and yes, this entrenched my natural proclivity to go Mother Nature’s route.

The route that got us this far.

It was heartbreaking to watch loved ones who put their faith in the allopathic way suffer.

Nature

For as long as I can remember – going back to 4 years of age I instinctively knew when someone was sad, tired, hurting.  I frequently approached these individuals to see how I could help.

Though I have a memory of this behavior going back before kindergarten there’s a story related to me by my mom that illustrates it started much earlier.

I discuss in a podcast

My parents lost many classmates to the Vietnam War and many of the men who returned weren’t in a good space.  One afternoon my mom took me to a local park.  I was just walking and talking.  We ran into a gentleman in a wheelchair.  Apparently I approached and asked, “Where are your legs?”  

Worrying I’d rubbed salt in a wound my mom was quick to apologize.  His response is the nature part of this equation.

“This is the first time I’ve laughed and smiled since coming home.”

Nature and Nurture Meet

When I read the article, one bit stood out.

“Meditation was all this ‘woo-woo stuff’ but now, seeing all these advances in neuroscience and showing changes in brain waves from functional magnetic resonance imaging, which we couldn’t do before – actually being able to trace the pathways that lead to changes in health measurements – I think this is really, really exciting,” she says.”

Nurture

This information was known and studied in the late 70s if not before.  My dad and I would watch various pieces from 60 Minutes to documentaries on the subject.

Nature

It’s in my nature to want to understand the science and research behind Mother Nature’s gifts.  This need to understand inspired me to go back to school to study what I’d been living:  Holistic healing.  As a result I learned in class that in the 90s Tibetan monks – some of the world’s superior meditators – had been hooked up to EEGs and undergone brain scans and all sorts of what I’m guessing were invasive medical tests – all in the name of research into the health benefits of meditation.  

I read the research papers as part of my class work.

A Real-Life Twist

Readers know that when I was 10 I fell off a diving board and had a brain bleed that left me blind paralyzed on my left side and in a coma.  Over the course of my recovery – and likely due to my nature – I forged a beautiful friendship with the neurosurgeon who saved my life.  

Whenever I visit Michigan I make a point to stop by and say hi.

On a recent trip I brought my family with me.  After a bit of small talk he mentioned something I’d written in one of the letters I’ve been sending since I was 12 and my family moved out of state.

Meditation.

He told me of the science behind why meditation is so good for the brain after which he encouraged me to keep on the holistic path.  

A man of science I also know him as a man of faith and a man who understands the role of traditional healing.

As my story illustrates Nature and Nurture are not an either or but part of a circular dance that has been going on for centuries with plenty of enlightened individuals on both sides of the equation.

Be well.

Note: I’ve been using homeopathy successfully for decades, trained by a British ENT surgeon.

Career – Making Your Way

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Listening to Woman by John Lennon and thinking of one of those transformational moments in life.

Career life.

A total neophyte I was part of a district that supported Automotive OEMs and their supply chains. 

After years of experience and education I became an international supply chain expert.

 Regarding the OEM I was part of what became known as the GM C4 program.

This was back in the day of beepers.

As part of the effort to prove my mettle I was handed my very first beeper on a Friday afternoon and told there was a good chance it would go off in the middle of the night after which

I had to call the number

I probably had to follow instructions lest millions of dollars per hour would be lost – by our customer.

Oh – and if I had to go on-site?  Bad part of town.

Leroy Brown anyone?

The irony – unlike my colleagues who tended to be 15 – 25 years older – I’d spent a good deal of my childhood in the “bad part of town.”

Wasn’t so bad “back then.”  Those days came after Colman Young chased everyone – including the job providing corporations – to the suburbs – which happened when I was 4 – 6 years old. A witness.

My Heart – Detroit

Unlike my colleagues I wasn’t afraid to go to Detroit.  Still – stupid to send me there at 2 – 3 in the morning to walk by myself to the parking lot GM reserved for “Vendors.”

Surprised they didn’t put us in the dumpster.

It was a 2 – 3 block walk in the dark.

In the “bad” part of town.

There’s a WRIF Drew and Mike go round about this that is insightful – about needing tennis shoes so you could run from your car to your office in a manner that gave you a chance to outrun the muggers.

Sure Enough

As the moon was dark.

My beeper went off at 2am.

I was 22.

I rolled from bed, called the number, confirmed the system was down.

They would lose – as I understood it – $100 million an hour for every hour they were down.

This is global supply chain.

I promised I would be on-site as soon as I got dressed – they knew I’d been asleep – confirmed with my colleague who would meet me at “the parking lot.”

Asphalt patch of space 2 – 3 blocks from GM HQ downtown Detroit.

It was raining.

Typical Michigan March.

The colleague who was to meet me beeped so I called – agreed to the location.  He was adamant I understood the exact location which meant at 2:35 am I had to explain why I knew downtown Detroit better than any of my older suburbian coworkers.

Including him – who lived in Milford and had just cleared a bunch of trees from his newly purchased lot to build his McMansion.

Made It

Though I brought my own umbrella – it was pouring – he showed up on the asphalt with an umbrella – escorted me to the GM building.

The Elevator

We shut our umbrellas – checked in with the guard who seemed antsy – about me.  When we got on the elevator my coworker instructed me to look up at the corner.  Apparently there was a camera.  He said, “It’s so if someone on the elevator assaults you…”

Oh just yay.

The Lab

He walks me to a chair – I’m … a mental confusion mess – asks if he can bring me coffee.

Coffee?  I don’t drink coffee.

Not until after I became a sleep deprived parent decades later.

I only started to feel human once I recognized the “stuff” on the VJ290.

That’s a computer monitor from the past for those of you just joining us.  Before WYZYWYG.

I don’t think the decision makers in terms of my career thought I had what it took before that night and they’ve moved on but I can be proud because I did good.

That Tiny Nagging Voice

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At this point in my life when my nagging inner voice suggests I need to do something I pause to consider

  • Does it have to be now?
  • Do I feel like doing it?
  • Will something get messed up if I ignore it?

Does It Have to Be Now?

I’ve learned to distinguish how important a suggestion is by discerning how insistent the little voice is.

The more it nags the bigger the repercussions if I don’t listen.

Do I Feel Like Doing It?

If I’ve got inertia going I evaluate whether something needs to be done that moment, that day, that week.

I also consider whether inertia is boredom or something deeper.

Will Something Get Messed Up If I Ignore It?

One of the most painful lessons I’ve learned – one that still haunts me – what happens when I ignore the voice – regardless of how loud or soft it’s whispering.

I haven’t forgiven myself and yes I know I need to work on it.

The silver lining is I have a true understanding of the repercussions of ignoring the voice trying to guide me out of a bad situation and/or into a good one.

Case In Point

Last night while meditating I realized I forgot to mail 3 cards.  After calming the initial panic I mentally said “Hey another reason to take a second morning walk.”

It’s several miles to the post office.

Before drifting off I reminded myself there was no urgency.

Or So I Thought

This morning the inner voice said “Do the cards now.”  

I didn’t feel like doing the cards.

Like I said there was no urgency.

Turn Up the Volume

The next time the inner voice spoke it shouted. “Do the cards now!”

I did the cards.

Next Order

It was earlier than I would normally do a second morning walk but the naggy little voice insisted I 

  • Go to the post office
  • Take My Wallet

Take my wallet?  Why?  I’m not going to buy anything!  I’m walking to the post office and back and that’s it.

Louder

“Take your wallet and put business cards in it!”

I’d run out from handing them out.

Okay fine.

As I started down the sidewalk I said “Okay God, it’s obvious there’s someone I’m supposed to see/meet.”

Which is why the timing was so important.

Next Order

While walking I mentally calculated which return route I would take.  

You know, just to shake things up?

“Go to Starbucks.”

WHAT?!

“Go to Starbucks.”

“I’m not going to Starbucks!”

I had a pot of coffee waiting at home!

Louder

As in shouting.

“GO TO STARBUCKS!”

Knowing how things go when I ignore the naggy little voice – let alone a naggy shouting voice – I calculated my route so it would take me to Starbucks.

As It Happens

It all comes together.

As I was walking toward the door I saw a very pretty lady coming toward me.  Smiling I wished her a good morning.

Coming round to start back home I saw her staring into the distance.  I asked if she needed help.  She smiled and explained she was looking at a car that had Merry Christmas across the trunk.  Following her line of sight I saw and smiled.

Now It Truly Comes Together

I was about to walk on when she asked if she could ask a question.  

“Why are you limping?”

I explained I’d had a subdural hematoma from falling off a diving board, was paralyzed on my left side and when I’m tired I limp.

Her Response

“I had a stroke.”

Mind and Spirit.

We had a wonderful back and forth – one I think helped us both.  

While people can empathize there’s something about talking with someone who’s been there that helps you feel understood if not whole.

As the conversation wound down she asked my name.  Explaining I’m a holistic doctor I pulled out one of those business cards the naggy little voice insisted I take with me and handed it over.

It pays to listen.

Soothsayer Now Available

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Pleased to announce Soothsayer, a Paranormal Journeys Story is now available.  Second in the Port Gallatan series this is the story of Fiona whose attempt to walk away from the paranormal brings her up close and personal to the fact we can’t walk away from who and what we are.

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it.

At Times Everyone Needs Help

Though appreciative of their love and guidance, abuse survivor Fiona Gladstone is tired of living in the shadow of her elder siblings who always seem to have the answers.

Everyone Needs a Break

Burnt out from the havoc the paranormal has wrought in her life she’s more than ready for a little peace and quiet so she can figure out what’s next.

Everyone Needs a Plan

When sexy rocker Clint Maverick offers to help her figure that out, Fiona jumps at the chance, unaware that finding a new start will bring her face to face with a past she’s desperately trying to walk away from.

You Matter

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I’ve written and spoken in podcasts about how a buddy of mine in the Bay Area fished me out of the murky waters of post-pandemic burnout.  

The Beginning

It was so bad I wound up in the ER.

Fortunately, no health issues.

A passionate walker for decades I dragged myself out of miserable mornings and put one foot in front of the other day after day, week after week, month after month.  Didn’t matter the weather – pouring rain, snow, record-breaking heat, I kept it up.

Initially I spent the time mentally combing through my life and wondering how the hell I got there.  After all I’d been through so much worse.  

On Impulse

Over past decades I’d kept in touch with a buddy I worked with in tech, emailing then eventually texting. One morning I asked – given he was getting ready to brave Silicon Valley traffic – if it was okay I “brought him” on my walks by texting him.  

Sending him pics of sunrises, fogged skies/misty mornings, beautiful foliage, holiday decorations.

At the time I was going so early it was dark and while I saw a few souls walking or jogging I was pretty much alone.

Well, me and my phone light.

Mutual Benefit

He was more than happy to exchange the occasional text – some before getting in the car – some after he got to work.  

In the course of dialogue it came to light he was going through his own struggle.  He’d been taking care of his mom for eons and it got to a point he needed help.  I’m sure readers can fill in the blanks of the stress involved with finding a place where his mom would get the best care and having to deal with the house and other details.

Day after day, week after week, month after month I listened via text as he shared the challenges of finding an apartment close to where his mom would be, of the stress and chaos of getting the home that had been in his family since the 70s ready to sell – by himself.

No siblings.

He listened as I sorted through a roller coaster of emotions and faced incredible anxiety.

Family

I want to note I absolutely had the support of my family but they had their stress too.  Having my buddy meant they could address their own post-Covid chaos.

A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis?

This morning a good friend sent a video – Diary of a CEO: A Cure to the Loneliness Crisis? in which a gentleman talks about the impact of texting someone to let them know someone is there.

Someone.

This man’s commentary perfectly summarizes the healing texting did for my buddy and me.

Beyond Text

In an age in which many people are trying to do digital detox I can add that over those days/weeks/months I came across a number of individuals out pounding the pavement.

Face to Face Human Interaction.

Some walking dogs, some jogging, some riding bikes, – many just walking.

Often with flashlights.

Over time we began to smile – seeing each other every morning it seemed the polite thing to do.  I began introducing myself. 

You Matter.

Me:

“I look forward to seeing you every morning.”

“It makes my life better to see you in the morning.”

“You always look so pulled together as you’re walking to work.”

I met people who play in the orchestra, who are passionate Rolling Stones fans, who lived overseas…

People of all age groups – yep kiddos waiting for the bus – ALWAYS wish them a good day 

Taking time to connect pays in a myriad of ways big and small and goes in both directions.

Don’t hesitate to tell people they matter.

Be well.

Healing Frequencies: Fiction Meets Reality

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I’ve long said I draw from imagination, education, and experience when writing my fiction.  Today proved that out in a way I wouldn’t have imagined.

Pun intended.

I’m working on the opening scene for Gimme Shelter, a Port Gallatan story.  One of the characters has recently recovered from an injury that almost ended his musical career.

This is explained in detail in Soothsayer which will be available soon.

The character is reflecting on another character’s suggestion to use a Tens machine to aid his recovery.  While this scene was created from imagination it turns out I have a bit of experience with Tens technology.

A Tens machine stimulates nerves through electrical pulses transmitted through skin.

Then 

Years back an orthopedist suggested I get a “tune-up” for my left leg which was paralyzed after I fell off a diving board at the age of ten and suffered a subdural hematoma.  As a result when I become overly tired I have a tendency to trip on that side.  He felt the therapy tune-up would help.

It did.

As part of the tune-up they attached a Tens machine to an area above my left knee that – after 24 years – was still numb to the touch.

As of this blog that area is no longer numb.

And Now

A few weeks back after an x-ray showed my left arm break not healing well the PA working with me asked if I’d be up for electrical stimulation after which she clarified insurance wouldn’t cover it til after 90 days had gone by.

One:  I was open to the use of Tens

Two: I was determined I wouldn’t need it and that upon the next visit I would have new bone growth

Three: I didn’t come out and say it but I think she knew – it wasn’t slow bone growth. I screwed up.  I’d gone on a business trip and while at the airport – out of instinct – grabbed a wheelie to put on the escalator.  I felt sharp pain and knew – just knew in my gut I undid all the healing in the weeks since the break.

Aaron knew it too – he saw me go chalk white from pain and I saw his expression.

Needless to say we had a “discussion” about me letting him manage the wheelies.

She was gracious enough to not say anything though she did gently implore me to allow others to help instead of trying to do things for myself.

A tall order but I acquiesced.

Home Tens To the Rescue

Two days later while meditating I got the word Silva in my mind followed by The Alpha Frequency.

This is a frequency Jose Silva observed brought people “to level” where they could solve all sorts of problems.

I then remembered. One of the success stories we heard during the BLS involved a man in Texas.  He was in the hospital with a fracture of the femur that wasn’t healing well.  Jose was alerted to this by a member of the community that knew of his work with healing.  He brought a portable tape recorder with him to visit the man instructing him to play the cassette while holding the tape player so that the speaker was directly on top of the break.

As per teachings he was to do this 3x/day.

The man’s bone healed quickly after that.  

Fascinated I asked how students might take advantage of this option given we were way past the age of cassettes.

Though years before mp3s.

As I lay in bed I considered – given we ARE in the age of mp3 – how could I emulate that experience?  My first thought was to use the speaker from my iPhone.

I have the Alpha frequency in mp3 format in a playlist.

Deciding it wasn’t practical I considered my routine – decided to play it on my laptop while holding my casted arm as close to the speaker as possible.  To help – I hoped – I pressed the cast against the laptop.  My thinking was the vibration would be picked up/transmitted through the material.

On the return visit – though I was expecting a ½ cast I was told I needed no cast.  The bone had healed that much – in weeks.

I was given a brace to wear when driving or outdoors but otherwise told to do what I do naturally to help loosen muscle that tightened – Mother Nature’s way of protecting healing bone – to loosen and function normally.

Today

It’s my final x-ray after a journey of healing.  I wanted to share that the Alpha frequency as recorded by Jose Silva – and the instructors of his method – is truly healing.  I highly recommend the BLS but it would be interesting to see if people who hadn’t taken the class but use the frequency get healing benefit.  I suggest visiting silvamethod.com to find where you can purchase the Alpha sound.

Be well

New Fiction: Project Update

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Hope everyone is doing well.  I’m excited to announce after years in which I never thought I’d be able to write again…

Thank you post-Covid burnout.

I’m about to release a work of fiction and already at work on the follow-up.

Soothsayer – a Port Gallatan novel – was released some years ago.  I was never satisfied with it so I pulled it, set it aside.

Never thought I’d touch it again – just assumed I’d work on the follow-on which will launch into a sub-series I’m really excited about.

The Idea That Won’t Die

The same challenge that haunted me years ago has been eating up mental cycles in recent months.  I wanted to move on to this very cool sub-series but there was another book that had to happen first and for that to happen – I had to release the follow-on to Port In a Storm.

Any other way would be a betrayal to the series and my vision for it.

Digging deep I pulled together the same energy that put me on this path in 2011 when I published Riding the Waves.

Courage to face the unknown.

I edited the manuscript, updated it with an eye to how the winds of fiction shift.

In terms of manuscript this translates to grammar as well as the potential for an oversaturated market.

I’m proud to say Soothsayer will be available soon.

With Gimme Shelter in the works.

Release dates TBD.

I’m also determined to make Podcast 4 work.

Stay tuned.

The Healing Power of Experience

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It’s been an interesting day, starting early with a routine that included checking headlines to see if the Martians had landed.

Tongue-in-cheek – goes back to my high school “I have to read Ray Bradbury” days.

A London Times article – Social media is dead — none of my friends are posting any more caught my attention.

With a line putting me in the mind of an app that helps people spend less time on devices.

But Wait There’s More!

Ginsu knife anyone?

This isn’t a promo ad.

Double-Edge Sword

Long before the cell phone came along technology was changing society.  It takes time to see patterns and it takes hindsight to see the extent of the change.  And then comes judgment.

The technology that saves lives can disrupt lives.  It’s something we have to navigate.

So Navigate

I published my first book in 2011.  

I always thought my first book would be a novel; didn’t pan out.

A holistic healer, I intended my work help others.  

People who, like me, were suffering from EMF Sensitivity.

Life Happens

My dance with EMF Sensitivity sent me in a different direction though I didn’t give up on my dream.

I spent ensuing years alternating fiction and nonfiction projects.

That’s Nasty

Soon after I published I encountered my first Internet troll.  

It devastated me. 

 It took 7 years to recover from one person’s comment.

8 billion humans on this planet and I get a comment that destroys my soul and lands me in the sewer for 7 years..

One human being on planet earth shredded me for 7 years.

What helped me get past deep wounds left by someone I’d never met was listening to the sage advice of people who had more experience than me.

People who’d been there, who understood.

My angels of the heart happened to be teenage kids. Though expressed differently – as per their vernacular – each said “Oh, goes with the territory of putting yourself out there.”

Which they’d been doing for years in an environment that is – in some respects – harsher than what I was dealing with in my isolated corner of the web.

Pay It Forward.

Recent events have – at times – shaken those same angels.  I’ve been able to help by drawing from life experience.

  • Vietnam

I was a child but my parents’ friends …

I recount specifics in my podcasts

  • We Will Bury You

I was a child but conversations with my maternal grandmother helped me put bomb shelters in the back yard in perspective

  • Recession After Recession 

By the time I was 40 I’d gone through 4

Detroit experiences one about every 10 years.  

I gave words of comfort without being condescending.  

I didn’t pretend to understand.

Some experiences are universal and history may repeat itself but teens today are growing up in a world I never knew. Cell phones? iPads? The microwave was new technology when I was growing up.

So was Atari and Apple IIe.

I had a rotary dial wall phone in my house!

I believe I was able to convey that as a society we’ve been in tough spots before – that I feel people want to work together for the common good.  

The issue is there are different definitions of the common good.

General and Specific

Later today.

I was about to get back to my first fiction project since post-Covid burnout when I got another opportunity to pay it forward.

With a stranger.

Fulfilling a Dream

Right up my manifesting alley.

A young woman creating a film was seeking help with filming locations.  Rather than suggesting locations to scout I gave words of encouragement and praised the beautiful amazing experience of seeing a vision – what started as a thought or a whisper in the soul – come to life.  

It was – from what I could tell – appreciated.

Be well

Human Touch: There Is No Substitute

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I recently wrote about the value of good manners.

Smiling?  Treating People with respect?  Wishing them a good day?  Lifting them up when they need a helping hand?  THESE are the pillars upon which decent society was built and in spite of what you may read on the web it’s the fabric that still exists.

The irony in that paragraph?  By taking your cue from technology – what you read on the web – as opposed to a fellow human you end up with a skewed image of the world.  Allowing someone you’ve never met tell you how to think and feel about what may or may not be reality can and does cause harm in the form of mental and emotional stress.  It’s this truth that has driven communities across the globe to ban cell phones in classrooms and for kids under a certain age.

The Power of Human Connection

A powerful antidote is engaging with the people in your community, people who can help you determine whether what you read online is something you need to worry about.  I’ll share an example.

Months back I was at a local pizza place.

Arriving shortly after they opened.  

I love the energy of this place.  

Lots of windows to let in natural light, very cool tunes selected by the even cooler staff who know me for my periodic working lunches.  

Because of my timing I’m there when teens on their lunch break form a line to the door.

A line that goes by the table where I like to sit.

I’m always amazed by how polite the mostly male students are, talking and laughing quietly while they wait for their turn to order.

How nice they are to the staff.  

Obviously, they were taught manners.

One afternoon I looked up to see a man in an army jacket in the middle of the pack.  There were ribbons on his jacket reflecting service though it was evident he was no longer active.  What struck me was his expression.  The guy was in serious distress.

Are You Okay?

I mouthed the question to which, looking as if he was about to crumble, he shook his head.  I went to him, my intention to hug him and help him feel okay.  

After asking his permission that’s what I did.

I had a pretty good idea what was upsetting him.  The web was filled with headlines about the growing political divide and thanks to various media platforms it was all too easy to feel as if you would be the victim of malice by people you’ve never met and who don’t know you.

Keenly aware of the teens close by I dropped my voice and asked if he was upset about recent events which weren’t favorable to the men and women who serve our country.  He nodded put his head on my shoulder and cried silently while I held him.

Keeping his voice low he told me how proud he was to have served his country, how his parents raised him with good values.

Treating people with respect was high on that list.

I stepped back so I could look him in the eye, took his hands and said, “What you read is not reflective of your community.  The people here do not feel that way.  You are safe here.  Hear me?  You are safe.”

He sniffled but nodded and we chatted a few minutes more even as the line moved.  I gave him another hug, promised him it was going to be okay, then went back to my salad and my work.

I wrote about that day and there’s a very good reason I’m repeating it here.

There’s An App For That

Despite how often those in the tech industry are vilified many continually strive to make the world a better place.

To help people live healthier happier lives.

To that end a dynamic duo recently released an app to help people break addiction to screen time, the goal being to help them reconnect with their community so they can absorb the love and friendship of those in it.

As a holistic healer I have been an enthusiastic supporter of this effort from the beginning.

I am proud to promote NoPhone: A Digital Detox app.

Feedback Welcome

I would love to hear feedback on this subject so feel free to comment.

Before I sign off I’d like to wish you peace and joy in your home and your community.

Be well!