Dreams Take Decades

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Just released an upcoming app to a beta tester** – listening to tunes to chill.

Separate Ways by Journey.

Glanced over to see the cover of a Metatron’s Army series notebook.

I was 16 when this series born of interesting creative life circumstances appeared in my mind’s eye.

The visual download was overwhelming.

The universe.  I drew it in pencil on typing paper I stuck to my bedroom wall.

Using toothpaste because we were renting and tape would pull paint off.  We’d be ding’d by the landlord.

Fast forward decades to publishing a story that lived in my soul for over 3 decades.  I decided having a visual cue would help so turned to a member of my team.

Um.

He proceded to tell me everything wrong with my drawing.

The “star” was too close to certain planets and the aspect ratio of the system was way off.

We had a discussion during which I listened and respected his expertise even as my heart pounded off my chest.  

I was in the process of releasing a story to the world no words could do justice to.

The Expert.

It was evident he wanted a happy customer.

I had to accept he had a handle on this I didn’t.

I told him to do as he saw fit.

That Notebook?

When I first saw it?  I got tears in my eyes. My chest felt tight.  

He somehow managed to design an image that filled a gaping hole in my soul.

Never stop believing in your dreams.

They never stop believing in you.

** App is for those dealing with Esoteric EMFs.

Ice Cream Man: We Need to Tell our Stories

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I volunteer to help kids with literacy.  I showed up on a recent day and was asked if I’d be willing to work with a special needs child because the specialist had to call out.  Happy to do so I soon found myself in a secluded part of a hallway listening to a little boy read about a tour of an ice cream factory.

The nature of the program means the volunteers and students find places to sit together which may be in an overcrowded room with a cacophany of voices or in a hall where students changing classes walk by.

At one point he looked at me and asked “Why so many screams?”

This was after watching him struggle with the fact he was trying to form the thought.  Telling him to take his time seemed to help him relax and articulate what was on his mind.

Why So Many Screams?

I immediately picked up his concern over the word scream but also knew he lacked context.  I quickly explained it was a childhood rhyme.

I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream.

I suspected my explanation didn’t fly because he wasn’t familiar with the rhyme so I quickly explained it was something kids would call out when chasing the ice cream man.  This necessitated I explain what the ice cream man was.

And why kids would be chasing him.

I admit – I have not seen or heard an ice cream man in all the years I’ve lived in this region of the country but that didn’t stop me from telling this sweet boy

“I’m old.  When I was little in Michigan my friends and me would chase the ice cream man – you could hear him coming by the music in his truck – yelling “I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream.”

I watched him think over the honest explanation then slowly nod.  And then he smiled.

A beautiful smile that lit up his features.

He said “I can’t wait to tell my mom.”

I don’t know if his mom is a translplant from another part of the country – maybe a place where she grew up hearing the telltale sound of an ice cream truck coming in her direction – but it reinforces my belief that we need to share stories with our kids

and grandkids …

I saw first hand how the lack of knowledge confused and alarmed.

We need to tell our stories

To share wisdom and give context.

And to reassure.

Manifesting 101: Wouldn’t it Be Cool?

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Happy New Year readers and visitors!  I hope 2025 brings joy and wonder.  

And good health!

Given many of us are thinking of what we want – or don’t – for the coming year I thought I’d share a holiday manifesting story.

On Christmas Eve I received a gift that included a hand-written note providing special information about each piece that was part of the gift.  Unfortunately in my haste to clean up wrapping paper the note was lost.  When I couldn’t find it I assumed it was accidentally thrown away.

I felt very bad as the gift giver made a point to tell me the note provided unique details about each piece.

Over the next days as I took my morning walk I considered the lost paper with no small regret.

I felt guilty I hadn’t slowed down to look at the paper when the gift giver mentioned it.

I did something else.  I visualized the paper in my mind and thought how cool it would be if it somehow turned up somewhere.  

As in maybe it didn’t get thrown out with the trash!

When I returned from my walks I would check various places thinking it might have wound up under a piece of furniture or in some other out of the way place.

No luck.

I continued to visualize the paper while I walked and casually thought how cool it would be if it turned up.

Randomly.  

I’d like to point out I did not consider what I was doing a manifestation attempt.

It wasn’t done with intent.

A few days ago I decided instead of taking down the Christmas tree I would go to the garage and break down boxes.

Which Aaron and I would take to the recycle center later this week.  

Normally I do this type of activity with Aaron but he was on a work call so I waded into the cardboard on my own.

Along with bubble wrap and styrofoam peanuts.

I was about 2/3 through sorting recycle from trash – organizing it for further disposal when I reached into a small box and pulled out the mesh bag that had held the gift.  Setting it aside – it too had gone missing – I thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if I found that paper in some box?”  

Drum Roll

I reached into the same box seconds later and withdrew the paper I thought lost!

What makes this pretty cool from the Manifesting 101 side

  • Though I was unhappy about losing the paper I didn’t do the visualization with the intent to find it.

It was one of a number of thoughts that went through my mind while walking on a chilly morning.

  • The Wouldn’t it be Cool? was not a heart-rending level of emotion tied to it all.

In spite of my disappointment at losing the paper.

  • Something told me to break down the cardboard boxes rather than take down the Christmas tree in spite of knowing I’d be doing it myself.

It’s an activity Aaron and I enjoy doing together.

  • If Aaron had been helping me chances are the paper would have been tossed into a recycle bag and lost for good.

I didn’t tell anyone I’d lost the paper so Aaron wouldn’t have known to keep an eye out for it.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

I want to circle back to what I feel is an important point when it comes to manifesting.

Pun intended.

The concept of releasing/letting go of attachment to an outcome is considered an important step in manifesting.  It’s also one of the steps I’ve had the biggest challenge with.

How the heck can you not feel emotion about something you want?

Some part of me must have been working in the background over the years to give me the key to this step because I’ve come to see that whenever I’ve manifested something it went with the following

Wouldn’t It Be Cool?

Or Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

I don’t know if this will work for others but for me when I feel that phrase?  The emotion attached is pretty low level.

Caveat

This isn’t to say it means I don’t care if I get it or not or that I’m not prepared to accept what goes along with having it.  It’s just that I recognize my life won’t be ruined if it doesn’t happen.

I had a plan B – to talk with the individual who designed the piece so I could get the information.

Knowing this, I can frame future efforts in such a way as to lower emotional noise that would interfere with its coming to be.

The Science in the Fiction

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I’m thrilled to announce a project months in the making.

Visitors will note a new link on my front page.

Above Choose a Path.

This takes visitors to a page with a number of scientific principles found throughout my novels.  Clicking on each principle will take readers to the story behind how it wound up in my work.

This project – that I’m very proud of – gives readers a glimpse into me as the author.

An author who draws from imagination, education, and experience.

Enjoy!

Feng Shui – Chicken or the Egg

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This is a piece about using Feng Shui to help and reflect where you are in life.

While I’ve been the beneficiary of feng shui since first implementing it after reading Terah Kathryn Collins’ book The Western Guide to Feng Shui Room by Room in the winter of 1996 I recently got one of the most important lessons.

One I’ve never encountered before.

I wanted to share because I think it’s an important perspective.

One that may prepare people for how the end result manifests.

It All Began…

Some two years ago this December I began a rather significant decluttering.

The biggest impacts were my home office and the garage.

It so happened that a good friend’s daughters were going to college and had rented a small apartment to share.

They needed a few things.

To my delight I was able to donate pretty much my entire home office along with some things from the garage to the cause.

Uh-oh

Less than a month later I hit a wall.

Complete burnout.

Two months after that I found myself in the ER.

Related to said burnout.

My ability to write was gone so completely I honestly didn’t think I would ever write again.

I did not connect this to donating my home office soup to nuts.

Turn Turn Turn

Purge Purge Purge

Over the next months as I continued to purge I found more and more of my life falling into chaos.

It sucked.

Those familiar with feng shui won’t be surprised.

It sucked.

It was easy enough for me to see the correlation and what got me through was understanding why my life was devolving into ever more chaos.

It sucked.

At the same time I was walking miles a day.  

Miles in which I did a tremendous amount of introspection.  

Slowly surely I put my health back together.

Next Stop?  Level Out.

No more clearing!

Focusing on restoring my health and well-being meant I wasn’t bothering with any other feng shui tweaks.  It wasn’t a conscious decision so much as my attention was focused on restoring my health.

And other obligations such as career and family.

Insight Gained.

Round Two.

I recently decided it was time to tackle a few frustrating energy spots in my home.

One of which I’d been trying for years to fix.

My approach is to try to determine the feel of what’s missing.

Put a name to the feeling.

I then think of a color scheme associated with the feeling.

For instance pink might say romance whereas for me red says power and energy.  Zing. Purple does not mean royalty though some associate it thusly.

I then look at what is in the area that has the opposite message.

What is pulling this energy away or blocking it from coming in?

I may take something from one energy area and move it to another.

It may pull or block in one but be perfect in another.

Analyze the feeling.

This was perhaps the most important lesson I learned.  As I sat working on an upcoming writing project I was semi-distracted by a feeling.

Where’d Everybody Go?

With my attention no longer focused on restoring my health and well-being I became aware that a lot of the items I was used to seeing – used to feeling – were gone.

The great clearing project of 2023!

As I pondered the feelings from the big empty I was reminded of the joke that we get rid of stuff then buy a bigger house so we can get more stuff – the idea being that we get rid of stuff – see the big empty – and fix it.

By getting more stuff!

I consciously resisted getting anything.

For months.

Even as I felt heightened awareness that there was an awful lot of space available.

For more stuff!

Aha!

Because I resisted the urge to fill those spaces with stuff – stayed focused on my upcoming writing project – I was able to determine the next step.

Grounding.

Imagine that you have a space that was being filled by stuff and taking some from – the middle.  Why the middle?  

I’m illustrating a point.

Depending on various factors the items to the top left and right would move in such a way as to fill in that space – using something natural.

Like gravity.

And like with gravity it all falls into place.

Organize! 

Having cleared I had areas of space whereas other areas had items in a jumble.

i.e. candles I have for when we lose power and/or decorate with for various holidays.

As I set about redistributing and organizing I came to realize the benefit.  I was grounding energy that had been akimbo since the great clearing!

I’d gone around for months feeling something was off but not knowing how to put a name to it.

As I’m putting the finishing touches on this stage of the tweaks I see that understanding the correlation between feng shui action and reaction isn’t enough.  It’s critical to stop and evaluate before trying to fix what isn’t – truthfully – broken.

It wasn’t fun living through the chaos but in giving myself space to go through it I came to see what next steps needed to happen.

Who We Are.

I also came to see the importance of doing clearing when we are going through major life changes.  This actually circles back to the advice from feng shui practitioners.  Specifically, not holding on to items that have negative associations.  But…

It was too vague.

For me at least.

I understood the idea that holding on to things that no longer serve us can cause issues including keeping us locked in an old version of ourselves.

Mentally and emotionally.

I now see that clearing has to happen to allow for inner transformation.

It creates a physical space that is mirrored within us.

As William Bridges explains in his book Transitions** the change may start at the end – not the beginning.

Having clutter – even if it wasn’t underfoot – was clogging up inner space.

Space needed for inner transformations I didn’t even know had to happen in order for me to level up.

The No Plan Plan.

My advice is to sit with any feng shui work and not have a knee-jerk reaction if the results don’t appear to be positive.  That chaos?  It was a blessing in disguise.  That’s because the chaos that ensued after clearing items no longer needed or used had a benefial effect within.

As above so below.

The shifting and organizing was also mirrored.

In my thoughts and feelings which became calmer and more organized.

I gained a better grasp of projects that are important to me as well as which ones needed to be reallocated or delegated to someone else.

Potentially helping them whereas it would only burden me.

I also created healthy boundaries.

A project long overdue.

I felt it a lesson worth sharing.

Knowledge is power. Experience is power to share.

Be well!

**A great read.

Manifesting 101: Pursue Your Dream and the Universe Responds

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Though I’ve been passionate about walking for decades** I’d gotten away from it after a move left me in a place where it was it was a challenge.

Not to mention I was working on publishing the Metatron’s Army and Dragon Core series.

Life Intervenes

Thanks to Covid and biting off more than I could chew in terms of writing and consulting I hit a giant brick wall.

And wall thy name is Burnout.

When this hilarity landed me in the ER I knew I needed to get back to basics.

Live what I write about – a holistic healthy approach to life.

Those first steps out the door in the middle of a Pacific Northwest Rainy Season were tough.

I would come home soaked through.

Not a Choice

I knew from experience that walking is therapeutic on an incredible scale.

For body mind and spirit.

I also knew if I was going to recover I had to keep at it.

Regardless of the weather.

I’d done it before.

Walked in snow and freezing rain and sleet in Michigan while working in a high-stress industry.

Hold Your Head Up

2 miles turned into 6 turned into 8

Every day 7 days a week

I found myself feeling better.

Slowly but surely.

Um – Have You Noticed?

Not really no.  

Too  busy watching my feet as I put them one in front of the other.

I would come home from the morning walk and kick off shoes soaked through, peel off soaked socks and do what I could to warm up.

I was so sick at that point I couldn’t handle coffee.

When I pushed myself out the door for the midday walk those dry socks became wet as I put on shoes still damp from the earlier walk.

And head out in the rain with an umbrella woefully inadequate for the task of a PNW Rainy Season.

Turn Turn Turn

Eventually the seasons changed.

I made a vow that by the time PNW Rainy Season came back around the following year I would be prepared.**

I began to see the same faces day after day.

A number of them told me seeing me slog through the inclement weather inspired them to start walking.***

I introduced myself to them.

So we could do more than smile and say Good Morning/Afternoon

A Fun and Funny Thing Happened

Weeks of putting one foot in front of the other turned into months and Good Morning/Afternoon turned into small talk that evolved.

I came to see that I’d attracted like-minded souls because I’d pursued something incredibly important to me.

Health in mind body and spirit.

Not The First Time

While out walking recently considering how I’d attracted such wonderful souls into my life I realized it wasn’t the first time.  Decades earlier while working for a Fortune 500 company going down in flames I found myself hitting the pavement of Kensington and/or Maybury.

It started with random conversations with colleagues during which we would discuss our plans for after work – usually working on one proposal or another – and/or the weekend.

Conversations during which a number of us said we would be walking at one of the local parks.

Within a short time those of us of like-mindedness were agreeing to meet to walk together.

No Geek Fest

These were never b*tch sessions.  

We were all so done with the stress and chaos of a career that ever seemed like we were Wylie Coyote to the Discrete Manufacturing Road Runner life.

Start Slow and Go From There

Great philosophy for manifesting dreams.

It started where we would talk about what we were doing after we were done with the walk.

Some talked about going out with their spouse or going to a sports game of their kids.  Some of us talked about our hobbies.  Mine was writing – had a dream of doing it full-time – learned some of my colleagues were on the same path.  One colleague played in a band.  Another entered marathons.

As trust between us grew we began sharing life philosophies.

And talking about dreams we wanted to achieve.

We offered advice to help each other realize those dreams.

We Liked Each Other!

Yeah But

We may have come to trust and like each other but walking 8 miles and discussing the meaning of life was a far cry from spending 80 plus hours a week in a cubicle.

We went to the mat against each other if necessary but once we were one with Mother Nature?  The gloves came off.

The Take Away?

Ah yes – corporate speak.

When you pursue what you love you will attract like-minded souls who can help you on your path to manifesting your goals.

** I invested in waterproof shoes and other gear that will get me through this year.

Aaron gave me an aawesome new umbrella for Christmas.

*** I discovered walking as a wonderful way to strengthen after being paralyzed by a brain bleed when I was 10.

Nine months after the incident that caused it – falling off a diving board – I walked 26 miles to raise money for Muscular Dystrophy.

Walking story from Nashville…

Link to Jamf Nation User Conference

Knowing: The 4th Component

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I’ve written that my work is drawn from imagination experience and education.  In an upcoming project I explore how a 4th component – Knowing – has influenced my writing.

Fiction and Nonfiction both.

Fiction

I share how decades of following the trail of something I couldn’t prove was ultimately validated years after publishing fiction works with the themes and information.

Included are stories of how conversations with various experts in the field played into my research efforts.

Nonfiction

“I know something’s wrong.”

I elaborate on how this solid belief allowed me to continue to dig for answers in the face of apparent evidence to the contrary.

And how doing so was ultimately the right course of action.

Never Give Up.

Never Give In.

I share how falling back on knowing helped through some of the toughest challenges.

And ultimately led to success.

Details to Follow…

Note: As I searched through my library of images for this post I was taken aback by how they beautifully illustrated my evolution as a writer.

A pictorial walk down memory lane.

Validating.

The perfect example of better late than never.

Be well!

Coming to Peace With Oneself As a Writer

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It’s only because I’m a holistic doctor I believe I could better explain what to expect to an aspiring writer than how it was explained to me when I attended my first Writer’s Conference.

Sixteen, a classmate and fellow aspiring writer gave me The Writer’s Market for Chrismas and took me to my first Writer’s Conference at Oakland University.  Thank you, Eric H (Hoho).

Though my intention had been to be a novelist life intervened and I started out with nonfiction. 

Beginning in 2011 I released works, interspersing fiction and nonfiction.

I didn’t have any trouble bouncing between the two genres.  My problem circled back to one I’d been facing from the time I was 13 and wrote my first novel.

In a spiral notebook in blue ink.

The dilemma

If I wrote for an audience – to sell – I would be compromising my voice.

How did I get to this awful fork in the road?  Research.

Personal Research

Though I enjoyed reading fiction there was a single genre that put me off even as the stories and characters were fun if not cool.

Especially historical.

Fluff

From the first time someone put a romance novel in my hands …

I was 12 living with my mom and brother in a basement because my parents split and we had no money.

This well-meaning soul thought I might enjoy a break from life

And a break from what I what I was reading at the time – Kane and Abel and other awesome works…

I don’t think this kind woman understood I WAS getting a break by reading this stuff.

And that I’d been reading college level since I was 6.

While I enjoyed the story plots of the romance novels she gave me it was the characters I had issues with.

Like the stupid bodice ripping covers of the era, the characters were cardboard cutouts of reality.

A Turning Point

I remember how this lovely woman reacted when, after asking how I liked the stories, I responded

“When I become a writer I’m not going to write women as brainless twits.”

She laughed.

She also tried to explain the stuff I was reading was escapism.

Key Word:  Tried.

I told her all fiction is escapism and I preferred stories that painted characters – especially women – more realistically.

 The Cabinet

Instead of telling me I was too young to understand or trying to tell me why I was wrong

Or trying to dissuade me from my dreams of being a novelist

This woman took me to a room in her basement

Stage left: Irony

This lovely woman was a close family friend of the neighbor whose basement we were living in.

She opened a rather tall cabinet containing a lot of romance novels.

She suggested I might like what was in there.

In other words, keep reading – if not keep living and don’t give up on your dreams because your young life was yet again pushed off the rails.

I went through the entire cabinet in a period of 3 or so months (all the while living in that basement) and weirdly enough decided if this was what was published it must be what people wanted to read.

So Here We Are

“…in the backwater overflow…” – Catch and Release, Silversun Pickups

The genre has evolved but what never changed was my desire to balance what I want to give readers with my view of how characters – especially females – should be.

Strong, independependent and educated either by life or some formal way such as military or secondary/higher education.

As I’m working through my Dragon Core project I’m reminded of this battle of wills.

A battle I can finally – having come into myself as a writer – address.

To my satisfaction. As a writer.

Stay tuned

Manifesting 101: Time to Travel

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In his book I’m Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams I am I am I am Thomas Pauley suggests adding the line (paraphrasing here) It is seeking me as I am seeking it when writing your goals.

The idea being what you want is attracting you as you are attracting it.  

I recently saw this in action.

As a novelist one of the first decisions I make after deciding on a plot and the characters is setting.  As part of my selection process I take into consideration whether or not I’ve been to the area I’m considering.

If not then I consisder whether I’ve been to a place close or in some other way similar location.

In the case of my Dragon Core series it wasn’t just deciding between Seattle and New Orleans it was deciding on the setting within the setting.

I lived in New Orleans but so long ago I didn’t feel I could do it justice.

When it came to Aesop’s Cove I had the perfect location in mind as a “stand-in.”

I planned on having it as a place I could go work at so I could really soak up the vibe for the story.

Excited to have this ironed out I went with hubby for a celebratory lunch only to learn we’d shown up on the last day.

I remember staring at the waitress in shock as she told me they were going out of business.

Timing

What are the chances?

She brought the boss over after I explained why we were there.  He was polite but strained.

No wonder.

Though I was ready to go forward with the story I knew I had to find a suitable place as a stand-in for Aesop’s.

To serve as a place to go when I needed an energy tune-up during times of writing fatigue.

Weeks turned to months and I could not find a suitable location.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Waterfront

For a variety of reasons including serious career burnout I took time off from writing.

A lot of time.

During this time I focused on self-care.

A lot of walking.

As I walked I sorted through challenges, mysteries, and solutions to those mysteries.

Many of those mysteries related to manifesting goals.

What I didn’t do was focus on the challenge of finding a suitable location to be a stand-in for such an important plot element.

I just kept walking and “not” thinking.

One day I decided to try to get a bit of work done.  At the time I was more thrilled with the idea I’d be able to do a bit of writing than where. As a result I gave little thought before slipping into a local haunt and sitting down to work.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It had been some time since I’d been there.

Thank you Covid lockdown.

On some of these occasions I struck up conversations with visitors either local or not.  While I occasionally mentioned what I was doing more often than not I just enjoyed listening to their stories.

I love hearing people’s stories.

I continued this trend and came to see the location was becoming key in my recovery from burnout.

Likely because while I was working there I didn’t associate it with work.

I associated it with relaxing and the opportunity for spontaneous conversation.

I tuned into the music playing, the conversations.

Conversations that took my mind off my troubles.

And then it hit me.  I’d found my Aesop’s.

It only took about a year of not looking for it.

On a recent walk I pondered the mystery of how this happened.  I’d been in that place before burnout and never considered it a suitable stand-in for the Cove.  No sooner had that thought surfaced then Pauley’s words came to mind.

It is seeking me as I am seeking it.

During the time away from writing due to events beyond anyone’s control the place underwent a shift.

Thank you Covid shutdown.

I came to understand that as I was changing through my focus on self-care and health and wellness the location and its employees were also changing.  By the time I circled back around it had become what I needed.

The Lesson  

If only I had changed or only that location had changed it’s doubtful I would have found it to be a suitable stand-in.  It’s because we were both pulling mutual energy for the same or similar goal that I was able to manifest what I needed.

One of the bigger changes was that they wanted to be more than just a place to hangout.  They wanted to serve their diverse customers’ needs in ways I feel is friendlier.

Warmer, more inviting.

More like how I pictured Aesop’s Cove.

In coming to understand this need for transformtive change not just in myself but in some other aspect of the goal I found myself relaxing about a key element in the manifestation game.

Time

I’m more relaxed about how long the goal may take to manifest because I now truly understand it won’t til things are in place.

And that may take time.