That Tiny Nagging Voice

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At this point in my life when my nagging inner voice suggests I need to do something I pause to consider

  • Does it have to be now?
  • Do I feel like doing it?
  • Will something get messed up if I ignore it?

Does It Have to Be Now?

I’ve learned to distinguish how important a suggestion is by discerning how insistent the little voice is.

The more it nags the bigger the repercussions if I don’t listen.

Do I Feel Like Doing It?

If I’ve got inertia going I evaluate whether something needs to be done that moment, that day, that week.

I also consider whether inertia is boredom or something deeper.

Will Something Get Messed Up If I Ignore It?

One of the most painful lessons I’ve learned – one that still haunts me – what happens when I ignore the voice – regardless of how loud or soft it’s whispering.

I haven’t forgiven myself and yes I know I need to work on it.

The silver lining is I have a true understanding of the repercussions of ignoring the voice trying to guide me out of a bad situation and/or into a good one.

Case In Point

Last night while meditating I realized I forgot to mail 3 cards.  After calming the initial panic I mentally said “Hey another reason to take a second morning walk.”

It’s several miles to the post office.

Before drifting off I reminded myself there was no urgency.

Or So I Thought

This morning the inner voice said “Do the cards now.”  

I didn’t feel like doing the cards.

Like I said there was no urgency.

Turn Up the Volume

The next time the inner voice spoke it shouted. “Do the cards now!”

I did the cards.

Next Order

It was earlier than I would normally do a second morning walk but the naggy little voice insisted I 

  • Go to the post office
  • Take My Wallet

Take my wallet?  Why?  I’m not going to buy anything!  I’m walking to the post office and back and that’s it.

Louder

“Take your wallet and put business cards in it!”

I’d run out from handing them out.

Okay fine.

As I started down the sidewalk I said “Okay God, it’s obvious there’s someone I’m supposed to see/meet.”

Which is why the timing was so important.

Next Order

While walking I mentally calculated which return route I would take.  

You know, just to shake things up?

“Go to Starbucks.”

WHAT?!

“Go to Starbucks.”

“I’m not going to Starbucks!”

I had a pot of coffee waiting at home!

Louder

As in shouting.

“GO TO STARBUCKS!”

Knowing how things go when I ignore the naggy little voice – let alone a naggy shouting voice – I calculated my route so it would take me to Starbucks.

As It Happens

It all comes together.

As I was walking toward the door I saw a very pretty lady coming toward me.  Smiling I wished her a good morning.

Coming round to start back home I saw her staring into the distance.  I asked if she needed help.  She smiled and explained she was looking at a car that had Merry Christmas across the trunk.  Following her line of sight I saw and smiled.

Now It Truly Comes Together

I was about to walk on when she asked if she could ask a question.  

“Why are you limping?”

I explained I’d had a subdural hematoma from falling off a diving board, was paralyzed on my left side and when I’m tired I limp.

Her Response

“I had a stroke.”

Mind and Spirit.

We had a wonderful back and forth – one I think helped us both.  

While people can empathize there’s something about talking with someone who’s been there that helps you feel understood if not whole.

As the conversation wound down she asked my name.  Explaining I’m a holistic doctor I pulled out one of those business cards the naggy little voice insisted I take with me and handed it over.

It pays to listen.

Generations: Why We Need to Tell Our Stories

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Finding myself staring at the sceen and knowing I needed to get out of my environment to break it loose I decided to take advantage of a bit of chilly winter sun and walk to a place I could get lunch.

It’s a further walk – more Vitamin D – and with my laptop in my backpack – more of a workout.

I was seated at a booth on the other side from a table of adults where I proceeded to set the laptop on the table and open it up.

And dig into some awesome chips and salsa.

Not long after and before ordering a woman with two small children came in.  The younger one – a boy about 4 – was already whining.  

Diagnosis?  Overtired and very hungry.  Maybe some molar action too.

I’d just gotten my lunch order when a mom came in with a very whiny toddler – about 4.  

They put them on the other side of me.

Working diligently I was able to block out the chaos going on on either side of me.

Mostly.

At one point I saw the mom take both kids who’d be in competition with a fire alarm outside.  At the same time I heard the woman behind me explaining to a 4-year-old what  SHE does when she has a tummy ache.

Ummmm – did that translate?

I kept at it making awesome progress on my project.

To the degree I was happy I followed my instinct to go to this place for lunch.

At one point I saw the mom of the two youngins crouch down and ask a very teary-eyed 4-year-old – bawling from being overly tired – while his older sister – also whining – stood by his side.

“What do you want?”

What Do You Want?

A for effort mom but – um – not the most productive approach.

His wailing would have been heard at Ford Field after the Detroit Lions scored a touchdown.

Not being critical just realistic.  I seriously wonder if – bawling his eyes out – he even heard the question.

Generations.

It was at this point I recalled a conversation my son and I had recently wherein we talked of the benefits of multiple generations being involved in family life.

I went so far as to suggest a big part of why fewer couples are having kids is because they don’t have the support they need and don’t want to have to choose between the well-being of their kids and the need to bring more income into the home so they can make a better life for their kids.

As I watched both moms struggle to control kids who were going further and further into meltdown territory…

At one point a woman came in to help the mom behind me and I heard her shortly after order a Jim Beam with lime. 

 Kiddo was fun!

I thought how different the day could have gone for each mom if they’d been coached by someone who’d been there before and could explain why their go-to strategy was making the situation worse.

Grandparents?  Older Sibling?  Cousins?

All People I watched guiding family members through those fun days.

And who later guided me.

It made me think how I grew up in a large multi-generational family – holding babies on my lap from the time I was old enough to bear their weight so my aunts and uncles could get a break long enough to eat.

And listening to my grandma coach her daughters – new moms – on the normalcy of what they were experiencing and offering other advice.

Which included “THROW THAT BOOK OUT!” when it came to the Dr. Spock book.

It brought me back to the conversation with my son and how even though the realities of today’s economy makes it so some have to move far from home

Having lived through multiple economic downturns in Detroit – thanks to the Manufacturing Industry – I understand the need to move so you have peace of mind to start a family without having to worry about being laid off shortly after you do.

There is a need for people to tell their stories!

Email?  Cell phone?  SNAIL MAIL?

Why not me?

Oh sure I considered offering a word of encouragement to the harried women or even distracting their kids by telling the little girl how beautiful her dress was, etc but I remembered how well that turned out for me last time.

I was at Target and needed to go to the bathroom.  There was a very young toddler girl in there by herself asking for her mom and putting her head under every stall door – including mine – in an effort to find her.  Alarmed when this went on for several minutes I decided I’d go to a customer service representative after I washed my hands so they could page for the mom …

This poor little girl was so scared asking all these strange adult women for her mom.

After drying my hands I stepped out to find a woman standing in the general area.  I inquired whether she had a young daughter to which she replied yes.  When I mentioned she was scared and going under the stalls asking for her mom the woman turned on me like a rabid animal and snapped “Well you’re just perfect aren’t you?”

???!

Um – no.  

Never came close to suggesting as much either.

She followed up by screaming at me with a lot of – well – it wasn’t great to be on the receiving end.

At the restaurant? My heart went out to the moms but with the memory of the Target fun – which happened years back – inflicting fresh wounds? I elected to stay silent rather than offer a word of encouragement.

Or to compliment the little boys on how cool their sweatshirts were which might have distracted them long enough to give the mom a chance to catch their breath.

Once Bitten Twice Shy, No?

All the more reason we need to tell our stories!

I offered silent support but thought how much better it would have been for those women had they had the type of support that comes from generations of moms telling their stories.

So they would have a plethora of tools in their toolbelts.

We Need to Tell Our Stories

Note: Image by Richard Anderson of San Jose, CA

Synchronicity Leads to Anxiety Help

emaxLeave a comment

 In my article Manifesting with a Twist I write part of the overall manifesting ethos is the idea of like attracting like.  Today that guy’s vibrational harmony was such that I left for my walk at the perfect time to come upon him

Yesterday I decided to walk to a local place for lunch.  I was working when I felt the urge to leave earlier than I would have.  Startled I wondered why.

I decided it must be that the sun was shining – that I was telling myself to get a bit of extra Vitamin D.

I was walking the route I decided would provide maximum sun when I got the urge to turn back and go a different way.  

Still sun though not as much thanks to trees.

I resisted because the sun felt nice on the chilly winter day.

The urge to take the other route got stronger.

Listen to Instinct.

I’ve been making an effort recently to listen to my instincts.

Things don’t turn out too well for me when I don’t.

About halfway along the changed route I saw a familiar face.

A gentleman I occasionally see while walking. 

We hadn’t seen each other in awhile.

We knew each other’s names but not much else.  

When he asked what I’d been up to I explained I’m a holistic health doctor and told him of an upcoming project.  We chatted a bit and he asked what I would recommend to someone experiencing anxiety.  I immediately rattled off a number of options but seeing he didn’t have anything to write with handed him my business card and suggested he email me so I could give him my suggestions.

Wait!

Before he started walking again I told him instead of an email, check out my blog because I was going to post my recommendations for a larger audience.

A Blog Instead

It was an easy decision, one guided by the fact that in the past four months I’ve had numerous people mention they’re having a hard time with anxiety.

A Common Theme

For some it was the political tension in the country.  For others they were still grappling with fallout from the Covid Lockdown.  

There were other reasons as well but the above are the ones I heard most often.

Those telling me of their challenges with anxiety are different ages and come from different walks of life.  

And live throughout the country and the world.

I intended to post this yesterday but got buried with a different project.  Turns out the wait was serendipitous as this morning I came across an article by a Harvard Trained Expert on strategies for handling anxiety.

Another in a series of “coincidences” that let me know this is the right topic at the right time.

Suggestions

Without further ado here are my suggestions for coping with anxiety.

This does not replace consulting with your personal health care provider and you should not stop any medications you take.

And consult with your health care provider to see if there is any reason not to utilize them.

These are remedies I’ve used at various points in my life with great success.

Walking

I’ve written about suffering severe burnout, fallout from the Covid Lockdown.

It was heartbreaking to watch the toll it took on family,  friends, community.

I originally began walking to help a student fulfill their remote learning gym requirement but soon found being outdoors regardless of the weather was restoring my health.

It was keeping me sane during a crappy time.

I continued walking long after Lockdown was lifted and soon began hearing people in my community say “Hey, don’t I see you walking?” 

I got up to between 2 and 10 miles/day depending.

Walking is an excellent option for dealing with anxiety.

The second it started up I got my tennis shoes on and head out.

I continue to walk rain snow or shine.

Meditation

There are a number of forms of meditation.  

As someone whose mind wouldn’t slow down I was unable to meditate until I came upon the Silva Method.

I’ve been successfully utilizing the Silva Method to solve problems since 2000.

Rescue Remedy!

Bach Flower Remedies are an excellent option for dealing with anxiety.  Developed by Dr. Edward Bach while treating WWI veterans suffering PTSD and what was known as hysterical paralysis or shell-shock syndrome  they are well suited to address a variety of symptoms associated with anxiety, including fright shock and depression.

For details visit this site.

Homeopathy

Another excellent option for dealing with anxiety and conditions associated with it including PTSD is homeopathy.  Developed by Samuel Hahnemann in Germany in the late 19th Century they have been shown to be effective for a variety of symptoms assiciated with anxiety.

Dr. Bach used his principles as a foundation for developing his flower remedies.

For information on which remedies are ideal visit this site.

Homeopathy is considered safe and not contraindicated with medication.  It’s still a good idea to check with your health care provider before incorporating them.

Warning!

Homeopathic remedies, also known as cell salts, are formulations and while the names are unique it’s important to differentiate them from other therapies with similar names.  An example is the fact the homeopathic remedy arnica montana is not the same as the herb arnica, which can be poisonous.  Here is a government site with additional information.

Alcohol

As a research scientist I’ve been very concerned about headlines regarding alcohol and various studies associated with alcohol consumption.

The headlines and the interpretations/conclusions of the data are misleading and in some cases out and out flawed.

I spoke with the gentleman about this when I suggested a glass of wine could be helpful and he mentioned the headlines and not knowing what to think.  I gave him my thoughts on the matter then pulled up my phone and showed him an email I’d sent that morning that contained a link to an article validating my thoughts about the flawed interpretations and conclusions.

I clicked the link – showed him the article.

Click here to read the transcript of the interview with Dr. Emily Oster wherein she sheds light on these studies.

What makes it serendipitous is that I only saw the article that morning!

Timing Like Perspective Is Everything!

Talk To Someone

When anxiety becomes so bad it’s interfering with your ability to function it’s a good idea to seek professional help.  When it isn’t that severe, it’s still helpful to talk to someone.

During the worst of my burnout I began texting with a buddy in California who was also going through sudden life changes.

Even though things calmed for us both we continue to keep in touch.

Sharing joys as well as frustrations.

You are not alone!

And finally?  Know that there are a lot of people feeling anxious these days.

Perhaps some of the suggestions here can help them find peace.

Be Well.