Nature V Nurture: The Holistic Approach

Does nature or nurture have more sway over the path we choose?

And how we turn out?

A good friend and I debated this throughout the years.

Often switching sides.

We listened respectfully while walking on lunch hours or after work and made arguments for our beliefs.

Was it that we were taught good manners or that we have a passion for understanding that drove this cooperation for a potentially contentious subject?

At the end of the day I think we were saying the same thing in different ways but in debating we gained knowledge and perspective.

We learned of a world neither knew existed.  

A world forged by experience and while that suggests nurture whatever was in our nature enabled us to navigate that experience in a way that shaped who we became.

What’s New?

I came across an article today that had me considering

  • I was ahead of my time 
  • I had such an innate feeling it was the right way I walked the holistic path in the face of incredible criticism and among a large circle of influence that went in the opposite direction

Was I born to follow the holistic [read natural/traditional] way or was I shaped by my experiences?

Nurture

As I discuss in my podcasts I witnessed what happens when individuals follow a certain philosophy of healing and yes, this entrenched my natural proclivity to go Mother Nature’s route.

The route that got us this far.

It was heartbreaking to watch loved ones who put their faith in the allopathic way suffer.

Nature

For as long as I can remember – going back to 4 years of age I instinctively knew when someone was sad, tired, hurting.  I frequently approached these individuals to see how I could help.

Though I have a memory of this behavior going back before kindergarten there’s a story related to me by my mom that illustrates it started much earlier.

I discuss in a podcast

My parents lost many classmates to the Vietnam War and many of the men who returned weren’t in a good space.  One afternoon my mom took me to a local park.  I was just walking and talking.  We ran into a gentleman in a wheelchair.  Apparently I approached and asked, “Where are your legs?”  

Worrying I’d rubbed salt in a wound my mom was quick to apologize.  His response is the nature part of this equation.

“This is the first time I’ve laughed and smiled since coming home.”

Nature and Nurture Meet

When I read the article, one bit stood out.

“Meditation was all this ‘woo-woo stuff’ but now, seeing all these advances in neuroscience and showing changes in brain waves from functional magnetic resonance imaging, which we couldn’t do before – actually being able to trace the pathways that lead to changes in health measurements – I think this is really, really exciting,” she says.”

Nurture

This information was known and studied in the late 70s if not before.  My dad and I would watch various pieces from 60 Minutes to documentaries on the subject.

Nature

It’s in my nature to want to understand the science and research behind Mother Nature’s gifts.  This need to understand inspired me to go back to school to study what I’d been living:  Holistic healing.  As a result I learned in class that in the 90s Tibetan monks – some of the world’s superior meditators – had been hooked up to EEGs and undergone brain scans and all sorts of what I’m guessing were invasive medical tests – all in the name of research into the health benefits of meditation.  

I read the research papers as part of my class work.

A Real-Life Twist

Readers know that when I was 10 I fell off a diving board and had a brain bleed that left me blind paralyzed on my left side and in a coma.  Over the course of my recovery – and likely due to my nature – I forged a beautiful friendship with the neurosurgeon who saved my life.  

Whenever I visit Michigan I make a point to stop by and say hi.

On a recent trip I brought my family with me.  After a bit of small talk he mentioned something I’d written in one of the letters I’ve been sending since I was 12 and my family moved out of state.

Meditation.

He told me of the science behind why meditation is so good for the brain after which he encouraged me to keep on the holistic path.  

A man of science I also know him as a man of faith and a man who understands the role of traditional healing.

As my story illustrates Nature and Nurture are not an either or but part of a circular dance that has been going on for centuries with plenty of enlightened individuals on both sides of the equation.

Be well.

Note: I’ve been using homeopathy successfully for decades, trained by a British ENT surgeon.

Manifesting 101: Time to Travel

In his book I’m Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams I am I am I am Thomas Pauley suggests adding the line (paraphrasing here) It is seeking me as I am seeking it when writing your goals.

The idea being what you want is attracting you as you are attracting it.  

I recently saw this in action.

As a novelist one of the first decisions I make after deciding on a plot and the characters is setting.  As part of my selection process I take into consideration whether or not I’ve been to the area I’m considering.

If not then I consisder whether I’ve been to a place close or in some other way similar location.

In the case of my Dragon Core series it wasn’t just deciding between Seattle and New Orleans it was deciding on the setting within the setting.

I lived in New Orleans but so long ago I didn’t feel I could do it justice.

When it came to Aesop’s Cove I had the perfect location in mind as a “stand-in.”

I planned on having it as a place I could go work at so I could really soak up the vibe for the story.

Excited to have this ironed out I went with hubby for a celebratory lunch only to learn we’d shown up on the last day.

I remember staring at the waitress in shock as she told me they were going out of business.

Timing

What are the chances?

She brought the boss over after I explained why we were there.  He was polite but strained.

No wonder.

Though I was ready to go forward with the story I knew I had to find a suitable place as a stand-in for Aesop’s.

To serve as a place to go when I needed an energy tune-up during times of writing fatigue.

Weeks turned to months and I could not find a suitable location.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Waterfront

For a variety of reasons including serious career burnout I took time off from writing.

A lot of time.

During this time I focused on self-care.

lot of walking.

As I walked I sorted through challenges, mysteries, and solutions to those mysteries.

Many of those mysteries related to manifesting goals.

What I didn’t do was focus on the challenge of finding a suitable location to be a stand-in for such an important plot element.

I just kept walking and “not” thinking.

One day I decided to try to get a bit of work done.  At the time I was more thrilled with the idea I’d be able to do a bit of writing than where. As a result I gave little thought before slipping into a local haunt and sitting down to work.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It had been some time since I’d been there.

Thank you Covid lockdown.

On some of these occasions I struck up conversations with visitors either local or not.  While I occasionally mentioned what I was doing more often than not I just enjoyed listening to their stories.

I love hearing people’s stories.

I continued this trend and came to see the location was becoming key in my recovery from burnout.

Likely because while I was working there I didn’t associate it with work.

I associated it with relaxing and the opportunity for spontaneous conversation.

I tuned into the music playing, the conversations.

Conversations that took my mind off my troubles.

And then it hit me.  I’d found my Aesop’s.

It only took about a year of not looking for it.

On a recent walk I pondered the mystery of how this happened.  I’d been in that place before burnout and never considered it a suitable stand-in for the Cove.  No sooner had that thought surfaced then Pauley’s words came to mind.

It is seeking me as I am seeking it.

During the time away from writing due to events beyond anyone’s control the place underwent a shift.

Thank you Covid shutdown.

I came to understand that as I was changing through my focus on self-care and health and wellness the location and its employees were also changing.  By the time I circled back around it had become what I needed.

The Lesson  

If only I had changed or only that location had changed it’s doubtful I would have found it to be a suitable stand-in.  It’s because we were both pulling mutual energy for the same or similar goal that I was able to manifest what I needed.

One of the bigger changes was that they wanted to be more than just a place to hangout.  They wanted to serve their diverse customers’ needs in ways I feel is friendlier.

Warmer, more inviting.

More like how I pictured Aesop’s Cove.

In coming to understand this need for transformtive change not just in myself but in some other aspect of the goal I found myself relaxing about a key element in the manifestation game.

Time

I’m more relaxed about how long the goal may take to manifest because I now truly understand it won’t til things are in place.

And that may take time.