Life After EMF Sensitivity

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Note: This is an area that used to cause symptoms – switching station in a train museum in California.

Wanted to share that in the near future I will be doing a follow-up interview with Lloyd Burrell about life after EMF Sensitivity.

Date to be determined.

To add interest I recently spent time in the SF Bay Area going over all the locations that previously caused me to be sick due to EMF Sensitivity.

I’m excited to share this next phase in my relationship with sensitivity to electromagnetic frequencies.

Geologic, Atmospheric, Technologic, Esoteric.

Stay tuned and be well!

The Road to a Dream

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Hello all!  Taking this special day to remind people to follow their dreams.

Celebrate Life

What’s special about this day?  44 years ago at 2:15pm EST I suffered a brain hemorrhage that left me blind, paralyzed on my left side, and in a coma.

I also died 3 times – twice on August 6 and again on August 9.

If not for the quick acting of two men I would not be here.

  • My dad who got me to the hospital

Drove up over the lawn and kicked in the door as he called out “Comin’ Thru!”

  • Dr Arturo Paz, neurosurgeon.

He told me he felt me slipping away and that he “…refused to let go…”

There are numerous others working that day who contributed and I’m very grateful to them all.

I went back years later to thank them.

The Power of Goals

Needless to say it was a long road to recovery.  What fueled the fire to drive that recovery were numerous goals I held to my heart.

  • “I will play and ride a bike again.”

My dad would hold me up so I could look out at the lawn under the summer sun.  

I was just getting my eyesight back and wanted to stare at the green grass. 

  • “I’m going to be out there riding my bike soon.”

I achieved the goal several weeks later.  Relearning to ride a bike was very difficult as my balance was off big-time and I was still regaining movement on my left side.  

  • “I’m going to walk again.”

Thanks to the efforts of my cousin MaryAnn and my mom I was able to walk within a month.

  • “I’m going to put this behind me.”

This was perhaps the toughest of all the goals and if it weren’t for the tireless efforts of my mom and dad I’m not sure I would have gotten past the trauma as quickly as I did.  We turned the date into a celebration of life which totally turned everything around for me.

  • “I’m going to live a normal life.”

Thanks to the incredible patience and love of my brother I was able to feel normal far quicker than I might have thought.  He was truly my hero in helping me adjust to school and feeling as normal as I could want.

Looking Deeper

While I made incredible strides and got to a point that people wouldn’t know by looking at me that anything happened there were deep wounds associated with what happened.  Apparently life wanted me to deal with them because shortly after meeting my husband I came face to face with the festering.

I ran into someone who knew me from that time and it brought painful memories to the surface.

Aaron and I were at the H.O.R.D.E Fest at Pine Knob and I had a breakdown in the parking lot as traumatic memories surfaced.

Aaron’s love and compassion were the perfect balm that started a healing that – though it took longer than I hoped – nonetheless completed.

I am grateful for all the love and support I’ve gotten throughout the years as well as the congratulations and well wishes from those who understand this is a day to celebrate.

I encourage people to pursue goals that will lead them to their dreams.

And celebrate the victories along the way!

Note:  In closing I’d like to say a special thank you to Dr. Patricia Paz Arabo for her love and support – from the beginning.  You helped me feel whole again.

She was a child who accepted me as a friend when I – 11 years old – really neeeded one.

PhD: The Path Unplanned

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A recent conversation had me reflecting on my path to becoming a holistic doctor.

PhD with a Bachelor’s in Holistic Childcare.

The gentleman I was speaking with is a retired psychiatrist which had me reflecting on a class on how nutrition affects and is treatment for many psychiatric disorders.

The class was taught by a psychiatrist who specialized in ADD/ADHD and the positive effect of elimination diets for some cases.

The part of that class I found most fascinating was borderline personality disorders.

Further ruminating led me to the day circumstances set me on this path.

My Bio and About pages show I’ve had many interesting stops along this path.

Life Intervenes

A domestic situation between my parents meant my mom brother and I were about to be homeless and if not for an offer from a woman from the UK we would have been in dire straits.

She was the wife of a brilliant ENT surgeon who was the first in the US to do cochlear transplants so deaf children could hear.  He passed away while at a conference teaching other doctors to do this life-changing procedure.

I met him a month after deciding I wanted to be a doctor.

Six, I needed my tonsils and adenoids out.

One morning as I was getting ready for school 

He was just coming in from surgery and rounds at UM.

After teasing me about not being a morning person and asking how school was coming he asked if I’d ever considered pursuing alternative medicine.

Which was and is embraced throughout the UK.

I explained that being the granddaughter of people who’d lived on farms and understood animal husbandry and our relationship to nature it was innate as a lifestyle but as a profession in the US it was a hard way to go.

As was being a female in a male-dominated industry though I had the support of my dad.

Familiar with the bureaucracy involved in the industry, not to mention my somewhat rebellious temperament

Ahem

He felt I would thrive under a discipline just getting a foothold in the US.

Training Begins

Some  eight months later we were in a rental.  As I was a determined hiker along the college path he took it upon himself to train me in the rudiments of holistic therapy.

Starting with herbs and tinctures and moving on to homeopathy.

Years later I formalized my education eventually earning my doctorate and then the secondary bachelor’s.

The intervening years doing extensive research and study.

The path forward took turns I didn’t expect

EMF Sensitivity anyone?

And as I sit typing this one-handed

Broke my left humorous though it’s healing well and fast

I think on the joy that crazy unplanned path has brought

Including meeting this wonderful retired psychiatrist who makes my life better

Be Well!

Coming to Peace With Oneself As a Writer

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It’s only because I’m a holistic doctor I believe I could better explain what to expect to an aspiring writer than how it was explained to me when I attended my first Writer’s Conference.

Sixteen, a classmate and fellow aspiring writer gave me The Writer’s Market for Chrismas and took me to my first Writer’s Conference at Oakland University.  Thank you, Eric H (Hoho).

Though my intention had been to be a novelist life intervened and I started out with nonfiction. 

Beginning in 2011 I released works, interspersing fiction and nonfiction.

I didn’t have any trouble bouncing between the two genres.  My problem circled back to one I’d been facing from the time I was 13 and wrote my first novel.

In a spiral notebook in blue ink.

The dilemma

If I wrote for an audience – to sell – I would be compromising my voice.

How did I get to this awful fork in the road?  Research.

Personal Research

Though I enjoyed reading fiction there was a single genre that put me off even as the stories and characters were fun if not cool.

Especially historical.

Fluff

From the first time someone put a romance novel in my hands …

I was 12 living with my mom and brother in a basement because my parents split and we had no money.

This well-meaning soul thought I might enjoy a break from life

And a break from what I what I was reading at the time – Kane and Abel and other awesome works…

I don’t think this kind woman understood I WAS getting a break by reading this stuff.

And that I’d been reading college level since I was 6.

While I enjoyed the story plots of the romance novels she gave me it was the characters I had issues with.

Like the stupid bodice ripping covers of the era, the characters were cardboard cutouts of reality.

A Turning Point

I remember how this lovely woman reacted when, after asking how I liked the stories, I responded

“When I become a writer I’m not going to write women as brainless twits.”

She laughed.

She also tried to explain the stuff I was reading was escapism.

Key Word:  Tried.

I told her all fiction is escapism and I preferred stories that painted characters – especially women – more realistically.

 The Cabinet

Instead of telling me I was too young to understand or trying to tell me why I was wrong

Or trying to dissuade me from my dreams of being a novelist

This woman took me to a room in her basement

Stage left: Irony

This lovely woman was a close family friend of the neighbor whose basement we were living in.

She opened a rather tall cabinet containing a lot of romance novels.

She suggested I might like what was in there.

In other words, keep reading – if not keep living and don’t give up on your dreams because your young life was yet again pushed off the rails.

I went through the entire cabinet in a period of 3 or so months (all the while living in that basement) and weirdly enough decided if this was what was published it must be what people wanted to read.

So Here We Are

“…in the backwater overflow…” – Catch and Release, Silversun Pickups

The genre has evolved but what never changed was my desire to balance what I want to give readers with my view of how characters – especially females – should be.

Strong, independependent and educated either by life or some formal way such as military or secondary/higher education.

As I’m working through my Dragon Core project I’m reminded of this battle of wills.

A battle I can finally – having come into myself as a writer – address.

To my satisfaction. As a writer.

Stay tuned

Manifesting 101: Feelings Not Required

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For whatever reason while on my morning walk a former colleague popped into my mind.  A quick perusal down memory lane gave rise to a stunning – in terms of manifefsting goals – realization

While feelings can help the process they are not necessary to achieve the goal.

A Story to Illustrate

Hey, I’m an author

As I thought of the toxic environment we worked in

Though he was in a different department

Another thought came to mind

I deserved better.

I knew I did.

As I mentally examined the memories including the LAVC I managed

Though I didn’t have the title or salary to match the work I was doing

I gained clarity on the thought I deserved better.

I really did believe it in spite of the fact I didn’t feel it.  

Or maybe in this situation belief is feeling.

Before continuing I will point out a few realities

  • The environment I was working in was incredibly toxic
  • I was significantly underpaid for the work I was doing
  • While some of my colleagues treated me with great respect, others were resentful and/or disrespectful

Even as I put up with a lot I knew I deserved better.

I didn’t think about it or try to tell myself this was true, I just knew.

I didn’t have many opportunities to see examples of women being treated fairly or with respect. 

I saw female colleagues in senior positions treated with the same disrespect and consistently saw women making significantly less for doing the same exact work a male counterpart was doing.

In spite of this I knew I deserved better.

Knowledge = Feelings?

In terms of potential action yes.

Even though my feelings were on the side of the spectrum associated with low self-esteem and self-doubt I acted from the belief I deserved better.

Or maybe it was boredom.

It got to a point where I tuned out the noise around me and set about finding tasks that challenged me.

Working in tech there’s always an opportunity for this, a good part of the reason I enjoyed that industry.

  • I self-taught the skills necessary for managing the LAVC

Which earned my colleagues’ gratitude since they no longer had to.

  • I self-taught hardware and software skills.

Building computers from spare parts in an old closet full of “junk” which earned my colleagues’ gratitude since I cleaned it out over a weekend. **

  • I volunteered to test new hardware and software

Which gained the gratitude of contacts in the corporate divisions I was later able to tap for help with customers.

My efforts got the attention of a top sales rep.

Had all sorts of awards  in his cubicle.

He began asking me to do various tasks for his customers.

Helping me gain experience.

One Fateful Day

Burned in memory.

This rep who became a mentor asked if I would be willing to go to a customer to do a NIC installation.

NIC = Network Interface Card.

I was one of the few who knew network interoperability – both hardware and software – for multiple operating systems, including competitor systems.

Thanks to all that work I’d been doing on my own time – working lunchtimes, nights, and weekends for months upon months.

I went on what turned out to be one of the most terrifying yet most successful professional experiences of my life.

An entire college class crammed into 5 or so hours.

Turning Point

After colleagues realized I could go on customer visits to do hardware and software installations

And complex tasks on production systems without bringing them down

I was tagged for numerous projects ranging from cusomter visits to writing the answers for high-level proposals.

Those contacts I made in the divisions were always happy to help validate my answers before the proposal was turned over to the customer.

You Scratch My Back

My involving division peeps in real customer wins meant their review scores went up.

As did their post-review raises.

My division experiences went from “Who are you and why am I talking to you?” to “Hey, Elizabeth, would you be willing to test…?”

And so it went that my knowledge I deserved better spurred actions that enabled me to manifest my goal of becoming a senior technology consultant.

I even advised then GM CEO, Rick Wagoner.

Who silenced a competitor in a meeting so he could listen to my counsel – a personal career high point.

What I came to understand from my morning musings is even if you don’t feel emotions associated with manifested goals you can still attain the goal.

Apparently, actions speak loudest of all.

** I had the company CEO come upon me one Friday – after work hours when all my colleagues had bailed – many by 2pm – to find me building a computer from spare parts and altering it so it supported the latest OS.

In spite of the fact my kluged computer was several generations earlier.

I didn’t know it was the CEO.  

We had a great conversation and years later – after I was finally given the title – I was recoginized by him – for something else entirely – in the company newspaper.

Note: I got a new manager who appreciated my attitude and approach and began sending me to formalized training including a grad course at Carnegie Mellon – another career high point. I went on to gain a number of certifications and have a tremendously successful career as a tech consulant.

Manifesting 101: Time to Travel

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In his book I’m Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams I am I am I am Thomas Pauley suggests adding the line (paraphrasing here) It is seeking me as I am seeking it when writing your goals.

The idea being what you want is attracting you as you are attracting it.  

I recently saw this in action.

As a novelist one of the first decisions I make after deciding on a plot and the characters is setting.  As part of my selection process I take into consideration whether or not I’ve been to the area I’m considering.

If not then I consisder whether I’ve been to a place close or in some other way similar location.

In the case of my Dragon Core series it wasn’t just deciding between Seattle and New Orleans it was deciding on the setting within the setting.

I lived in New Orleans but so long ago I didn’t feel I could do it justice.

When it came to Aesop’s Cove I had the perfect location in mind as a “stand-in.”

I planned on having it as a place I could go work at so I could really soak up the vibe for the story.

Excited to have this ironed out I went with hubby for a celebratory lunch only to learn we’d shown up on the last day.

I remember staring at the waitress in shock as she told me they were going out of business.

Timing

What are the chances?

She brought the boss over after I explained why we were there.  He was polite but strained.

No wonder.

Though I was ready to go forward with the story I knew I had to find a suitable place as a stand-in for Aesop’s.

To serve as a place to go when I needed an energy tune-up during times of writing fatigue.

Weeks turned to months and I could not find a suitable location.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Waterfront

For a variety of reasons including serious career burnout I took time off from writing.

A lot of time.

During this time I focused on self-care.

A lot of walking.

As I walked I sorted through challenges, mysteries, and solutions to those mysteries.

Many of those mysteries related to manifesting goals.

What I didn’t do was focus on the challenge of finding a suitable location to be a stand-in for such an important plot element.

I just kept walking and “not” thinking.

One day I decided to try to get a bit of work done.  At the time I was more thrilled with the idea I’d be able to do a bit of writing than where. As a result I gave little thought before slipping into a local haunt and sitting down to work.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It had been some time since I’d been there.

Thank you Covid lockdown.

On some of these occasions I struck up conversations with visitors either local or not.  While I occasionally mentioned what I was doing more often than not I just enjoyed listening to their stories.

I love hearing people’s stories.

I continued this trend and came to see the location was becoming key in my recovery from burnout.

Likely because while I was working there I didn’t associate it with work.

I associated it with relaxing and the opportunity for spontaneous conversation.

I tuned into the music playing, the conversations.

Conversations that took my mind off my troubles.

And then it hit me.  I’d found my Aesop’s.

It only took about a year of not looking for it.

On a recent walk I pondered the mystery of how this happened.  I’d been in that place before burnout and never considered it a suitable stand-in for the Cove.  No sooner had that thought surfaced then Pauley’s words came to mind.

It is seeking me as I am seeking it.

During the time away from writing due to events beyond anyone’s control the place underwent a shift.

Thank you Covid shutdown.

I came to understand that as I was changing through my focus on self-care and health and wellness the location and its employees were also changing.  By the time I circled back around it had become what I needed.

The Lesson  

If only I had changed or only that location had changed it’s doubtful I would have found it to be a suitable stand-in.  It’s because we were both pulling mutual energy for the same or similar goal that I was able to manifest what I needed.

One of the bigger changes was that they wanted to be more than just a place to hangout.  They wanted to serve their diverse customers’ needs in ways I feel is friendlier.

Warmer, more inviting.

More like how I pictured Aesop’s Cove.

In coming to understand this need for transformtive change not just in myself but in some other aspect of the goal I found myself relaxing about a key element in the manifestation game.

Time

I’m more relaxed about how long the goal may take to manifest because I now truly understand it won’t til things are in place.

And that may take time.

Cradle of Love – A Study in EMF Sensitivity

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A child** of the 80s I recently decided to revisit Billy Idol’s Cradle of Love video.

A classic.

An interesting factoid came to the cosmic surface.

Factoid – fun.

It sounded more pleasing through the Youtube video.

Note:  Engineer Derek Gauger (author of the Foreward to my book Riding the Waves) once tried to explain the sometimes painful audio experiences I had listening to digital – especially satellite music – was due to compression ratio.

When I listen to satellite radio I hear a high-pitched (awful/painful) squeal and any male singer sounds as if he’s wearing his Speedos too tight.  Needless to say I’m not a fan.

Fiction V Nonfiction.

Though I’m working on a Dragon Core project I never miss the opportunity to learn.

Especially when it comes to EMF Sensitivity.

Something was niggling at the back of my mind.

An EMF something.

Donning a cherished Christmas gift 

Headphones from Grado Labs.

I compared listening to the same song via Youtube video V Apple Music.

Apple doesn’t offer the music video which would have offered me an apples to – no pun intended – apples comparison.

Note:  Every time I read “remastered” when searching for music I want to puke.

I cut my own casettes from album so don’t go there.

What I concluded is the Billy Idol video is far less painful – audially – than any remastered whatever.

I guarantee it has to do with that EMF context that gets caught up in the audio compression rate soup.

Conclusion

At this point?  Doest it matter?***   What I do know is I  won’t be downloading the mp3 anytime soon.

Given the video isn’t available for purchase I suppose I can play it in the background while working on Messenger of the Gods.

Audially?  I bow to no one.

Not when it comes it listening quality.  

** I was not a “child” then

*** Neil Young and his Pono project do.

I Get Every Season – But Why Now?

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Growing up with Hippie parents – not to mention LIVING through some of the times in question – child that I was – gives a unique perspective on life.

The gift that keeps on giving.

To Every Season

Turn Turn Turn

Dragon Core

For whatever reason I stumbled when trying to find the vibe for Aesop’s Cove.

The heartbeat of Dragon Core

I wanted – needed – to sit in a place that felt like the Seattle centerpiece of the series. 

To bask in vibes I could wear as I wrote.

No Dice

Damn Goldilocks

Like other Creatives the Muse is in charge

For years I traveled to and visited venues in and around the Seattle Metro Area

Dive bars, places that landed in one periodical or another…

Disrupting various lives – including my own – in search of the physical embodiment of of what I lived while writing those scenes.

Like I said – the Muse is in charge.

Turn turn turn

Unable to find the right locale [read vibe] I forged a way through a path of pain and uncertainty.

I couldn’t write until I had the soul pieces in place.

Muse again ya?

Turn turn turn

Enter Covid

The path forced me to take a break.

Or was it the Muse?

Turn turn turn

And so it came to pass that while I healed the world healed and – changed.

The one constant right?

One day I ventured to a place I’d been to but never thought of as a possibility for the Aesop’s Cove vibe.  Lo and behold they’d evolved and the locale was now a solid physical option to wrap myself in the vibe.

Weirdly Enough

On the other side of the post Covid energy evolution …

I stopped by the place that had been a place holder for Aesop’s Cove only to find I no longer connected to it.

Still wrestling with that and what it means

Circle Back

A tool I use in my writing

Years ago I asked an engineer friend of mine living in A2 whether – when we move – do we change or does what we left behind change?  His answer?  Both

Which at the time was totally irritating.

I now understand what my friend was trying to convey.

Relativity revisited.

I couldn’t find my Aesop’s Cove before now because not only did the place not exist I was not ready; something the theory of relativity explains perfectly.

Thanks G3!

And so life happens.

When and as we need it.

Valentine’s Thank You

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Just taking time to wish readers and visitors a Happy Valentine’s Day and to thank you for all the wonderful support you’ve given over the years.

I feel very fortunate to have had lifelong support for my dream of being a novelist

  • Family

Especially my parents and grandparents

  • Neighbors

Who encouraged my love of reading as well as writing and were ready to discuss books 

  • Teachers

Math and science teachers who took time to discuss universal what-ifs? and others who advised me on how to do proper research or just gave encouragement 

  • Classmates

Including those who weren’t close friends but who were quick with an encouraging word

  • Coworkers 

Some of whom were also aspiring writers and who never tired of listening to me talk of my dream

  • Readers

Without whom this wouldn’t be possible

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Elizabeth

Manifesting 101: Feelings

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As I sat down  for a working lunch – having just arranged my laptop and other related tools –  I spared a moment to ponder a familiar feeling .  What makes it noteworthy is it’s a feeling I haven’t experienced in some time.

In a locale over a thousand miles away.

As I pondered further I considered I was finally getting a concept related to more recent treatise on manifesting

Drawing on emotion to enhance efforts.

The idea is that if you can “refeel” positive emotions it will put you in a frame of being that will draw a goal that elicits – once achieved – an equally positive one.  There’s a catch.

Manifesting in Reverse?

Confusion quickly set in because the feeling – good as it is – isn’t one I associate with this geography.

Yes the location I’m working at has a good vibe but it’s a far cry in numerous ways from the other locale.

One thing I can’t argue with is the fact I really was feeling the feeling from years ago in a place far away.  

It dawned on me:  What I wanted – was trying to manifest – was what I got.

That wonderful feeling.

As opposed to the location.

I didn’t see the difference bbefore now ecause I associated the feeling with a specific location and it’s a feeling I haven’t experienced anywhere else. prior to recent times

So recent I didn’t even put two and two together until today.

I always assumed it was a feeling unique to the far away locale

Especially given each and every time I visit the feeling returns – pretty instantaneously.

Quickly reviewing the manifestation goal tied to this feeling I realized I really had – perhaps unconsciously – fixated on a feeling rather than an image of the location associated with the feeling.  

Something to Work With

So says the Universe

It made me realize I got what I was trying to manifest.

A feeling associated with a time and a place.

What You Wish For

Doesn’t that suggest I really wanted the location associated with the feeling?

Maybe – but…

I can apply all sorts of hindsight as to why it’s better I didn’t get that place.  In the end?  I now understand – taking all factors into consideration – the Universe- in its infinite wisdom – works perfectly to help you achieve your goals if you zero in on the specific why – emotionally – you want it.

Bonus:  The Universe only responds to positive emotions and works for the best outcome for all involved.

You don’t have to worry about the details.

Revel in the feeling.

Your goals await.