This morning I was thinking about a couple I know who have overcome adversity without being bitter for what they had to go through. In point of fact they shower the world and everyone in their sphere with love and joy. This had me recalling a conversation with a relative.
Some years back at a family gathering.
“You were never angry like that.”
It was in the context of how individuals may act out their frustrations, might take their anger out on those around them.
It wasn’t the time or place to get into it but truth was, I had been angry at one point in time. I just held it inside.
Source
Long before the Me-Too movement women in business were facing challenges.
In spite of a few bad apples I thrived in a male dominated industry.
I enjoyed a strong working relationship and work friendships with many guys – customers and coworkers – throughout my decades in tech.
I’m still friends with some of them decades later.
Solution
There came a point where I could see the anger I was holding inside was harming me and I did look for solutions.
- I read about forgiveness – the anger harms the person more than the one who did the harm.
- I meditated
- I read books on the subject
- I talked to someone from my church
Weirdly, those actions only made me more angry.
What finally worked?
I will never forget the day.
I was pacing my bedroom raging at the injustice and suddenly – for whatever reason – I stopped mid-stomp and said to myself I had a right to be angry.
I was harmed. Anger is a natural response.
It was an epiphany.
I had a right to be angry?
I stood staring at my dresser for the longest time with the words I have a right to be angry going through my mind on a loop. And in that moment the anger dissolved.
It was giving myself the right to be angry that enabled me to let everything go and move on with my life.
Maybe sharing this will help someone going through their own challenge with emotions tied to being treated poorly.
Be well.
Elizabeth Maxim 