NOTE: Longer post. Cross-posted on

Don’t you love it when life throws you a curveball?

Losing 3 family members in 3 weeks definitely classifies.

After a couple of days off I am back to the nonfiction project.

It’s the first time in years I took a few days off writing.

As I reengage I note the more permanent changes that have affected things.  


Months back  in preparation for adding more nonfiction into the career picture – I began clearing out anything that wouldn’t serve the vision I had.

Professionally, and personally.

I put a great deal of time and energy into laying the foundation for success and while I’m happy – overall – with the progress I’m also dealing with an aspect of change:  

Getting There From Here

In his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges points out change doesn’t always start with a new beginning.

This is an excellent book by the way.  I highly recommend it.

Sometimes change is introduced with/by an abrupt ending.

Loss of a job through downsizing for instance.

While that was revealing it was the other part of the story that really got my attention.

The Road Between

He points out not only does change sometimes start with an ending, the new beginning doesn’t always happen right after.  There is often a period of “between” separating the two.

But I’m Ready!!

I‘m fueled up for the journey!

He explains that this Road Between can be uncomfortable because it’s a time of unknown.  

The familiar has ended but the new hasn’t started.

I was so busy laying the foundation for what’s next in this project – while simultaneously clearing what wouldn’t serve – I didn’t realize I landed on the Road Between!

That curveball – which is far more than the recent deaths -shoved me there.  Slowly.

Fortunately, I’ve been in this situation before.

Multiple times professionally and personally throughout my life.

Between = Empty Cupboards

Because I’ve been in this situation a number of times in my life – which should tell you how often I experience change – I am prepared to ride it out.  That doesn’t mean I won’t be doing what I can during this time to set myself up for success.

I am starting to fill in World of EMF content which is part foundation/part launch.

It’s a delicate balance because if you allow a feeling of restlessness to direct your actions you could wind up wasting a lot of time and energy.  To illustrate I will share one of my favorite metaphors.

It’s one I’ve used to help others who’ve found themselves in the land of Confusion.  I mean on the Road Between.

Imagine you need new dishes but your cupboards are already filled.  There are a few ways – each different – that you could go about this.

If you already have the new dishes in possession then it’s simply a matter of clearing the old and putting the new ones in.

Or is it?

What are you going to do with the old set?

Hint:  Storing them somewhere only serves to turn them into clutter.

What if you don’t have the dishes yet and you aren’t exactly sure what would look right?

Maybe all you have is this notion that it’s time for change.

Step One:  Remove the old.

Step Two:  IMPORTANT!  Do something with them!

Something other than storing them.

Why is this step so important?  It backs you into a corner and forces you to see the change through.

You need to eat on something right?

Step Three:  Sit with it for awhile.

You know, stare at- I mean contemplate – those empty cupboards.

This step is the most likely to make people uncomfortable if not anxious.


You cleared out what no longer works.

Which sends a powerful message you are ready for this change!

You don’t have the new yet which may bring a lot of panic.

  • OMG what did I do?  I just got rid of the only set of dishes I had!

But they are no longer reflective of who you are.  You’re doing yourself a favor in letting them go!

  • I have no idea what to put in there!

At some point you thought you did else you wouldn’t have taken the step of getting rid of the old.

In other words – trust yourself!

  • What is everyone going to think?  What if they hate what I put in there?

I’ve struggled with this myself on and off throughout the years and what I’ve concluded is some will, some won’t, move on.**

To do otherwise only saps you of energy.

  • Why is this taking so long?

This is that uncomfortable part where you stare at – I mean contemplate – those empty cupboards.

Which is wise.  It’d be worse to put something in there just to make yourself feel better then realize you hate the new even worse than the old!

All of which leads to – as Jen Sincero put it – learn to love feeling uncomfortable.

This more than about anything helped me know I was doing it right.  You know, because I was uncomfortable!

To the extent I’ve gotten very little sleep in recent months.

It’s the familiar discomfort of the Road Between that lets me know I’m doing everything right.

Familiar as it’s reflective of the truth my life has been one one long string of changes.

Making it an adventure!

Changes Big and Small.

As recent events have shown change isn’t always instigated by the one going through it.

Pandemic anyone?  Talk about living on the Road Between after abrupt endings!

Genie Out of the Bottle.

Fighting change isn’t a good use of time.

Neither is trying to force things back to the way they were.

When I watch the tug of war between employers demanding their employees get back to the office and make it so things are back to normal – whatever the hell that is or ever was – and the employees who have other ideas – I wonder if those making demands understand  

That genie?  He ain’t goin’ back in the bottle.

Change happened.

The best way forward is forward.

New dishes more reflective of the new way/person/lay of the land/etc.


It’s a lot less painful that way.

I understand accepting change is easier for those of us who have had nothing but for the entirety of our lives but anyone can embrace it.

Embracing it has its advantages.

The best place to start? Embrace the Road Between.

After all, as they say in the Matrix, it’s inevitable.

Everything for new projects – fiction and non – is on track.

Stay tuned!

**What really helped me with this was an interview with Chris Cornell talking about a new Audioslave direction.  (I’m paraphrasing).  He acknowledges that the change left fans unhappy but shrugs and explains some will always be unhappy and that’s what goes with it.  

Change: It needs to happen.

Wow – not bad for someone who was woken by birds before 6. Espresso does wonders!

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