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Like Photography, Writing Can Benefit from Focus

There are multiple ways to approach a novel and for me, each story seems to take a different route from start to finish.  This can be frustrating, trust me.

In focus: Character  I’m working on a novel in which a secondary character from a previous book is stepping into the limelight.  Because of this, I needed additional details about who he is, where he’s from, what motivates him, etc.  This was proving unexpectedly difficult and for several weeks I floundered in my efforts to get the book off the ground.  Then I decided to really try and bring the character into focus.  I asked myself, if this guy was standing in my living room, who would he be?

The image that popped into my head was that of an actor from a TV show that was popular in the late 20th century.  The image was so vivid I was able to hear the voice, see the way a t-shirt fit over his upper body, see how tall he is, and observe subtle character traits, such as his ability to appear aloof when he’s anything but, or to see a storm brewing in his eyes, telling me something deeper is going on.  It worked beautifully and from that day forward, whenever I have to bring my main character into focus, I superimpose the actor so that I’m able to hear his voice, see his saunter, watch how he stands.  In doing so, I remove blocks and am able to proceed with the scene.

In focus: Scene  In The Company  She Keeps I found that music brought to life scenes and the characters within them in great detail.  One of the characters (a ghost) is a musician, so it was easy to integrate specific songs and types of music into the story in meaningful ways.  When I added the musisc it turned an otherwise static visual frame into a moving picture, complete with sound effects, making it a lot more fun to work on.

In focus: Audience  With the push to use social media as a marketing tool, it’s easy to see that potential customers can live anywhere in the world where there is an Internet connection.  What writers need to be cautious about is avoiding mistaking the world as their audience.  When Jack Chalker pens a book, he knows his audience loves Sci-Fi.  When Nora Roberts begins a novel she has to consider whether she’s writing for the Nora Roberts audience or the JD Robb audience.  When Clive Cussler writes, he has Dirk Pitt novels, Kurt Austin adventures, Isaac Bell adventures, and more.  Each has a potentially different audience.   If you lose focus of who your audience is, you can write yourself into a quandry.  Remind yourself who your are writing for and what you’re trying to accomplish (i.e. educate, entertain, etc).

In focus:  You  I’m finishing Stephen King’s On Writing, a book I highly recommend to aspiring and accomplished writers alike.  It’s a book that will ultimately help you remember who you are, what your’e doing, and why you’re doing it.  It’s at once inspiring and supportive.  It helps you bring your priorities back into focus to the degree that you remember who you are; a storyteller.

Minerals – not to be overlooked

When I was  studying for my doctorate, one of my textbooks was Tired or Toxic.  While reading this book, I learned that many Americans are deficient in a crucial mineral, magnesium.  Today, when I saw a Yahoo! News headline about a crucial mineral, I knew without reading the article it was magnesium.  That wasn’t psychic, it was knowing that unlike calcium and iron, magnesium is an unsung mineral.  It’s vital to health but most people don’t understand why it’s so important and why most Americans are deficient in it.

Some minerals get all the breaks.  Calcium and magnesium work together, ideally in a specific ratio, for absorption.  Iron cancels out calcium, so when a mineral is taken has a lot to do with whether we get enough of it.

Eat it or add it?  When it comes to nutrition, most experts agree that getting crucial vitamins and minerals through food is the ideal way.  Unfortunately, soils that have been leached of valuable components and the addition of pesticides mean the food we buy is often as short-changed as we are, so supplementation is appropriate.

Chew it?  Swallow it?  Drink it?  Mineral supplements come in chewable tablets, pills we swallow, and liquid we can add to our beverages.  It makes a difference.  Some people, such as myself, do not absorb tablets as well as liuquid, so it pays to find out the form that works for you.

I’ve written several articles about minerals, not the least about the fact that they have made a tremendous difference in my EMF Sensitivity challenge.  Thanks to the liquid minerals I take, I am 95% symptom free.  My body is better able to handle any problematic frequencies and I’ve noticed other health issues** clear up and disappear as I continue to take them.

** All of the issues were tied to adrenal function/exhaustion.

While I whole-heartedly agree that magnesium is an unsung hero when it comes to minerals, I want to provide a cautionary anecdote.  If you take more than your body is ready to process, you will find that any constipation you might be experiencing is totally cleared up.  Ironically, our soils became depleted of magnesium just about the time that constipation became a widespread problem in our country.  Could be a coincidence, I guess…

Homeopathic Staples for Family – Allergy

I have been using homeopathy for decades with excellent results.  The brands I’ve used and had good luck with are BoironHyland’s, and Nova.  In general, I get Boiron for single remedies, Hyland’s for Children’s Remedies, and Nova for specific combinations aimed at treating a condition in adults.

For many remedies, I keep two sets; one for home and one for travel.  These remedies have been invaluable in keeping my family healthy so I thought I would share them here.  The best part of homeopathy is the lack of side effects, the lack of contraindications with other medications, and the safety for infants and children.  Of course, you can always talk to your health care provider for your specific needs.

Organization.  It’s best to keep the remedies organized so you can find them when you need them.  One of the keys to homeopathy is to administer the remedy at the onset of symptoms.  I organize by what they treat.  For travel, I keep the remedies in ziplock bags marked appropriately.  At home, I have small plastic containers I purchased at the Container Store.  They have pull-out drawers that hold each group of remedies.

Allergy.  I’ve had excellent results with homeopathic remedies for treating allergies, not just in myself.  Apis mellifica is good for swelling from insect bites.  Natrum muriaticum is for a runny nose caused by allergy.

Sabadl Allergy by Boiron.  The following Nova Combinations have proven effective:

Hayfever, Asthma, Respiratory, and Pollution.

I also keep Benadryl in both liquid and cream form for emergencies.  I’ve never had to use the liquid, but have used the cream to treat skin lesions after contact with an allergen.

EMF Sensitivity and the Immune System – Upping the Ante

In a previous post, I explain that, in spite of having tremendou results with liquid minerals in treating my EMF Sensitivity, I still suffer symptoms under certain conditions.  It’s a puzzling tug of war between my immune system response and my observations.  Why does my body perceive certain geologic electromagnetic frequencies as a threat?

As I write in Riding the Waves: Diagnosing, Treating, and Living with EMF Sensitivity, I have a comprehensive toolkit to address symptoms which are often debilitating and life-altering.  Each of the tools follows a specific scientific approach, one of which is to deal directly with the immune response.

It’s an allergy.  In someone who is EMF Sensitive, the adrenals release histamine when exposed to certain electromagnetic frequencies.  For some reason, these frequencies, which tend to fall at the low end of the EMF spectrum, are perceived by the body’s immune system as a threat.

Actually, it isn’t.  Although the body’s response mimics a regular allergy, EMF Sensitivity is not an allergy.  With only two exceptions, no allergy medications and/or antihistamine medications ever reduced or eliminated symptoms for me.  Additionally, it is not possible to build up immunity to problematic EMFs.  In fact, continued exposure to even small doses of the problematic frequencies can lead to life altering and debilitating symptoms.  The longer the exposure, the worse the symptoms, and the sicker the individual becomes.

What is going on?  EMF Sensitivity is an incredibly complex condition and quite frankly, a total pain to deal with.  I have yet to understand why my body perceives certain geologic frequencies as a threat.

 Fault Lines or Land Subsidence?  Shortly after learning that I am sensitive to the EMFs that are emitted by the fissures associated with land subsidence, I read an article about the relationship between pumping out ground water, which leads to land subsidence, and earthquakes.

I already knew that I was sensitive to the EMFs that come out of SF Bay Area fault lines in the hours and days prior to an earthquake.

After reading this geologic relationship I began to wonder.  Had the 1906 quake been worsened, if not caused, by extensive ground water pumping?  After all, the San Francisco Bay Area experienced and continues to experience severe land subsidence due to decades of ground water pumping for agricultural and residential development.

Geologic nuances.  Not all fault lines are created equal.  Sound waves (EMFs associated with earthquakes) travel more slowly through bedrock than loose soil.  Depth and other nuances can mean the difference in whether I am affected or not.

It’s all energy.  For as long as I can remember I have had strong psychic abilities.  Psychic energy is simply another form of electromagnetic energy.  Not everyone is sensitive to the frequencies I am.  Just as with the ultra-low geologic frequencies, I am able to tune in to pyshic frequencies.

Yin-yang.  In Riding the Waves, I discuss   the discovery of a relationship between problematic EMFs and psychic energy.  When I am impacted by problematic EMFs, my psychic abilities are reduced and/or eliminated.  When I am away from the problematic frequencies, my psychic abilities are fine.  When I utilize certain remedies, my abilities are strengthened.  I have often wondered, if I come to a point where I am completely immune to the geologic frequencies, will I lose my psychic abilities?  On the surface, it would’t seem so, given that yin-yang relationship.  However, EMF Sensitivity is a complex condition with subtleties and confusing anomalies.

My new mantra?  Complexity is fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

EMF Sensitivity and the Immune System – Turn up the volume

The more I study (and live) the intracasies of EMF Sensitivity, the more I know and the less I know.

And the more I validate previous observations and research.

In an earlier post, I wrote how shortly after discovering the beneficial effects of liquid minerals on my own EMF Sensitivity, I began to experience respiratory symptoms.  We later discovered black mold in the house we were renting and that certainly would have explained that.

We have been living in a variety of places since then while we search for the ideal place for us to stay.  It’s nice to have the flexibility we do because much of the area is geologically challenging when it comes to EMF emissions.  We are able to move when I realize there’s a problem.

However…

Moving around is tiring in its own right and so I began to look at symptom severity versus the hassle of relocating yet again.  I never discussed this with my family.  I made assumptions that they would be happy to have a bit of stability and if I didn’t mention what I considered fairly mild EMF symptoms, what was the harm?

Lesson learned.  They care a great deal and don’t like to see me suffer.

What’s the harm?  We recently stayed in a very nice place.  Unfortunately, within a couple of days, I realized I was being impacted by EMFs.  Due to the minerals and other factors, the impact was quite low, if annoying (I couldn’t write).

Being in the middle of a manuscript, this wasn’t welcome knowledge.  However, I figured, it’s only for a few more days, so what’s the harm?

What’s the HARM I ask?  ME?!  Previous experience taught me that even low levels of problematic EMFs would be devastating given enough exposure (read time).  I figured since we were leaving in 7 days, I could handle it.  After all, I had my toolkit.

She’s not listening.  Let’s get her attention.  Within four days, I began experiencing respiratory symptoms.  The mucuas was clear and I didn’t feel sick so I figured…strangely enough allergies.

Allergies alright…EMF allergies!

It’s ironic – I write a book on EMF Sensitivity and yet because I’m removed from the worst source – the SF Bay Area Fault Lines, I forgot more than half of the symptoms.  Allergies…I should go back and reread my own work!  Save myself a lot of tissue!

I tried taking allergy medicine but it didn’t work.  I tried cold medicine.  Nope.  Homeopathic stuff.  Nada.  Uh-oh…

Something nagged at the back of my mind…

I shrugged it off and reminded myself that it was only a few more days left.

Damned stubborn.  Turn up the volume.  One night I woke up drowning in phlegm.  I went and sat on the couch and searched the Net for information.  I took another allergy pill, to no avail.

Aha!  When hours later I found myself on the couch, still misrable and barely able to breathe, it dawned on me.  When I was in Caliornia, allergy medicine hadn’t done anything to relieve the symptoms because they were caused by EMFs!

Between being away from the worst EMF source and the miraculous change due to liquid minerals, I am 90 – 95% symptom free.  I feel “normal.”  Because of this, it takes an inordinate amount of time to put two and two together and realize I’m too healthy to be feeling so crappy and maybe I should be looking at EMFs.

The next day we drove to our next destination.  We weren’t supposed to move there for several days but we now knew I had to see if the “allergies” followed me.  Nope.  The moment we crossed one of the intersections, my respiratory distress completely cleared up.  The mucus disappeared and the mucus membranes shrunk to normal.  By the time we got back to our current resting place, I was sick all over again.

Yes, we moved sooner.

It’s not the air.  In my book Riding the Waves: Diagnosing, Treating, and Living with EMF Sensitivity, I go out of my way to explain that although it mimics certain aspects of a regular vanilla allergy, EMF Sensitivity is not an alleregy.  Yes, it evokes an immune response, but it will not respond the way an allergy does – to treatment – and you cannot build up immunity to it.  In fact, the opposite is true.

Symptoms gone but not the condition.  I had wondered…if I am not feeling the symptoms, is my body still perceiving the electromagnetic frequencies as a mortal threat?  The answer is a resounding yes.  Like taking a cold remedy … the symptoms can be alleviated but the condition still exists and your body is under attack.

The one and only cure for EMF Sensitivity is to get away from the source of the problematic frequencies.

Down the rabbit hole.  So, where does all this lead?  If I continue to treat the symptoms but I don’t get away from the source…what will happen?  I have a feeling where it will eventually end.  The volume turns up louder until it gets your attention.

For those who need interpretation…the key phrase is mortal threat.

Since I don’t plan on ignoring the messages my body is sending me, I won’t spend time on isolating the what and why…I will just accept it and move on to safer ground.  That is – AWAY from problematic EMFs.

Homeopathic Staples for Family – Colds and other respiratory infections

I have been using homeopathy for decades with excellent results.  The brands I’ve used and had good luck with are BoironHyland’s, and Nova.  In general, I get Boiron for single remedies, Hyland’s for Children’s Remedies, and Nova for specific combinations aimed at treating a condition in adults.

For many remedies, I keep two sets; one for home and one for travel.  These remedies have been invaluable in keeping my family healthy so I thought I would share them here.  The best part of homeopathy is the lack of side effects, the lack of contraindications with other medications, and the safety for infants and children.  Of course, you can always talk to your health care provider for your specific needs.

Organization.  It’s best to keep the remedies organized so you can find them when you need them.  One of the keys to homeopathy is to administer the remedy at the onset of symptoms.  I organize by what they treat.  For travel, I keep the remedies in ziplock bags marked appropriately.  At home, I have small plastic containers I purchased at the Container Store.  They have pull-out drawers that hold each group of remedies.

Cold and other respiratory infections.  This includes fevers and other viral and antibacterial infections.  I have had excellent results keeping the kids away from the doctor by administering homeopathic remedies at the onset of symptoms.  I have found that homeopathy also shortens the duration of any illness.

I don’t like taking kids to the doctor or emergency room where they will be exposed to other sick people and will expose others to whatever they have.  I would much rather treat them at home.  It’s very important to avoid dehydration when a child is sick.  If you suspect your child (or you) suffers from dehydration, it’s important to seek medical assistance.  An IV may be necessary to replenish vital fluids.

Hyland’s offers a Kids’ Kit that is absolutely fabulous and takes the guess work out of dosage and diagnosis.  It’s available online as well as at various health food stores (Call first to check).

Hyland’s Sniffles N Sneezes is a great combination for kids when the symptoms of a cold first kick in.  This remedy has been effective at shortening the duration of the illness.  Hyland’s Cold N Cough 4 Kids and Nighttime Cold N Cough 4 Kids is great at soothing a cough so the kids can rest.

These remedies can often be found at Walgreen’s (Smart company) as well as health food stores.  When the stores have been out, I’ve tried other remedies but none of them worked nearlry as well as the Hyland’s formulas.

Pulsatilla is for colds with thick yellow nasal discharge.  However, I had good luck stopping a croupy cough with this remedy.  Kali bichromicum is for colds with thick nasal discharge, but again, I’ve had luck stopping a nagging cough when nothing else worked.

Antimonium tartaricum is good for a wet nonproductive cough.  Aconitum napellus is good for high fever of sudden onset.

Belladonna is an excellent remedy for infections, including urinary tract and bladder.  When I am uncertain (in very early stages) which remedy to try, I add belladonna.

I have used a neti pot when I had Influenza A.  It wasn’t fun but it helped.

I have had decent luck with a traditional hot toddy.

A friend told me that her grandmother, a nurse, used to wrap her in a cold wet sheet when she was sick.  Although she hated the feeling of the cold, she said that she soon warmed up and then began sweating profusely, allowing her body to sweat out the toxins and recover.

Although I take homeopathic remedies, I also take over the counter medicines for relief when appropriate.  I rely on Nyquil with alcohol to help me get the sleep I need.  Without rest,  the illness is prolonged.

Modern Dads – A Holistic Perspective

The backpack caught my eye.

“Hey, look,” I said to my husband, “another guy carrying a backpack!”

Turns out Darryl Bell is a member of the same club Aaron is.  He’s a modern dad.

Isn’t a dad a dad?  Biologically, yes, but in terms of societal impact, a modern dad has transcended trail blazer, is beyond trend setter, and is truly a whole new paradigm.

What’s so different?  While my mom was spending 25 hours and 50 minutes in labor, my dad was in the expectant father’s lounge, smoking and drinking champagne brought by his sister.  Years later, my husband’s father was by his wife’s side in the delivery room…but he fainted.  Aaron and I watched a football game before going to sleep, only waking up for the important part.

Thanks to programming myself based on the Silva Method, Hypnobirthing, and Dr. Grantly Dick-Read’s Childbirth Without Fear, I slept through my labors, only waking up when my kids arrived, without having to push once.

My body but our baby.  I’m lucky.  My parents set me up for pregnancy success.  When I was about nine, my father told me of a special he’d seen on TV.  In Russia, women sometimes gave birth in hot tubs with midwives.  He told me, “You should have seen it.  They gently lifted the baby out of the water and the change in temperature caused it to gasp for breath.  No smacking a newborn butt.  Natural.  It was beautiful.”

My mother told me, “I picked up the phone after you were born and called my mom.  I told her you were a girl and said the next one is going to be a boy.”  I was born at ten before midnight.  She’d been in labor since ten o’clock the night before.  They’d told her at 1 in the afternoon that it would be any time.  What do doctors know?

When I got pregnant, I had positive experiences to draw on, a lot of humor, and my understanding of holistic and natural methods to draw from.  Still, this was Aaron’s baby too.  All decisions were jointly made.

I think Aaron would have been more comfortable at a hospital but he was willing to investigate the alternative, so we interviewed midwives and visited the birthing center.  I had a hard time picturing us going through the experience in a building next to the bail bondsmen, across from the jail, in a rather seedy part of town.  The organization also had a high rate of women who ended up being transferred to hospitals to give birth for failure to progress and a no-refund policy.  My doctor is an amazing Chinese American who supported my holistic approach to pregnancy, birth, and health, so we went with a traditional hospital birth.

A mobile professional.  Because my husband is a mobile professional he was able to push the baby stroller while participating in conference calls, enabling me to catch up on badly needed sleep.  He built up muscles holding a growing infant in one hand while typing answers to a proposal in the other.

I spotted Darryl and Nicole Bell across a restaurant, and was immediately curious.  Was he really a modern dad or was he window dressing?  Did he do it voluntarily or did his wife browbeat him into it?  Did he get grief from his dad?  His father-in-law?  His peers?

Whipping out my business card, I went and introduced myself.  Then I did what writers do… I interrogated.

“I noticed you have a backpack.”  Yeah, we used to have a diaper bag but realized they aren’t very practical.  A backpack is a whole lot easier.

True.

“Are you self-conscious about being an equal partner in parenting your child?”  No, I don’t judge my parenting skills by what other people think. 

What a healthy attitude!

At this point, Nicole walked up and I introduced myself.

“I’m writing an article about modern dads and how, unlike their predecessors, they are equal partners in raising their kids, helping their wives.”

Nicole, a very pretty woman who glowed with health and happiness, smiled.  “They have to be, don’t they?”

I nodded in agreement.  Especially when the women work.

“Did you guys have this understanding before you were married?  That you would work together to raise your kids and be equals?” 

Fellow Midwesterner, I bet Darryl caught my use of you guys.  He shook his head.  Nicole replied.  No, we didn’t.  It evolved.

Working together…the marker of a strong healthy relationship!

Kids are a lot of work.  Careers are a lot of work.  For two people to be juggling all of that responsibility and doing it with such a healthy attitude is outstanding.  Clearly, the Bells have a very healthy sense of self.  They don’t need to prove anything.  They don’t justify why they do it this way, but they are more than happy to satisfy sincere curiosity.

A healthy sense of self.  My dad was self-employed and very active in our upbringing.  My mom has a queasy stomach so he stepped in when we puked up in the middle of the night.  He coached my baseball team, went to bat against the nuns when they told me it wasn’t seemly for girls to play hockey, and taught my brother what it meant to run your own business.

My brother’s a modern dad, too!

He told me girls could do whatever we wanted…equality and treating people how we wanted to be treated.

Setting a new standard.  Aaron had a more traditional upbringing which, in my eyes, makes him more of a hero for stepping up to the plate as my partner raising our kids.  Darryl explained that he also had a traditional upbringing and that he and his wife, who is from the east coast, had additional differences.  However, it’s obvious he takes these differences in stride and they don’t interfere with his decision to be an equal partner in raising their family.

Weekend dads.  Most modern dads rarely saw their own dads participate in their upbringing.  Their dads might have caught the kids in time to say good-bye as they went to catch the bus.  They may have gotten home in time to join the family for dinner, but typically got home in time to say good-night.  Around on the weekend, these dads might have taken the kids to a ball game while the moms cleaned the house from top to bottom, ran errands, and caught up on anything they didn’t have time to accomplish during the week.

Modern dads change dirty diapers, laugh at wearing mushed peas, plop screaming kids in front of Baby Einstein videos, and take their kids’ class groups on field trips to museums.  They also cook (not just barbeque), and do housework, including laundry and scrubbing toilets.

And get this…they do it because they choose to.  Without the image hang-ups of their predecessors, they shrug off implications they somehow aren’t masculine and step up to the plate to, in the eyes of their families, hit a home run.

And it’s outta here!

Post Script:  I believe every expectant woman, along with dads-to-be, can benefit from reading Dr. Grantly Dick-Read’s Childbirth Without Fear.  You can find more information about hypnobirthing at http://www.hypnobirthing.com.  The wall chart from the Silva Method Basic Lecture Series shows the brain frequency range associated with painless childbirth.  Techniques taught in this course can help facilitate it and nicely dovetail the principles taught in hypnobirthing.

Smart Women – A Holistic Perspective

I just caught a headline about Princeton Alum Susan Patton’s advice on marriage.  The article drew a lot of fire but I suspect her intent may have been lost in the crossfire.  I am not Susan – I don’t know her intent, but one thing I know is good advice…

it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart as you.”

This is solid advice – but lacks an explanation of what it means to be as smart as you.  There are too many measures of intelligence, including experience.  Also, intelligence covers a variety of subjects, including religion, which means it’s not just about marrying or dating a guy as smart as you, but more about being with someone who is compatible.

I have heard from numeous people that being with someone in the same industry helps their relationship.  Who would better understand you than someone who knows, from the inside, what you do and why you do it?  For instance, two doctors would understand the demands of the profession, the politics involved, and would be in a position to do more than just listen…they could offer advice on how to deal with challenges.

When I was in my mid-20s I began to get pressure from various family members about being single with no children.  Especially as my younger female cousins were mostly married with children and my younger brother had also gone this path.

“When are you going to quit playing career woman and marry so a man can take care of you?” my paternal grandmother asked me.

I calmly explained that I had worked hard on my career and I wasn’t playing at anything.  I also told her I would never let some man take care of me and that I intended to work long after I did marry – if I ever did – which I wasn’t certain I wanted anyway.

As if I hadn’t even spoken, she looked over at my grandfather who was hiding behind the Wall Street Journal and asked, “Can’t you fix her up with someone at the company (ANR)?  There are bound to be smart guys there.”

She then turned to me and said, ‘You might want to start acting dumb.  You know, men don’t want to marry a woman who is smarter than they are.”  My grandfather began clearing his throat repeatedly while he loudly flipped pages of the journal.

I replied, “But I’m not dumb and if I pretened to be in order to trap some poor guy he would soon find out and then he’d know he’d been lied to.  Not a good way to start a relationship…built on a lie.”

From my vantage point I could see my grandfather smirking behind the paper.

My grandmother, totally exasperated with me, began to prognosticate that if I didn’t act soon, I’d be an old maid and no one would ever want to marry an old maid.  I smiled and told her I wasn’t worried.

I had no reason to be.  I got married well past the average age – to the perfect guy for me, which, among other things meant being intelligent, experienced, and similar, though not identical philosophies.  I didn’t want a puppet, a wanted a friend and companion…

At a family picnic not long after, I had an uncle ask when I was going to get married so I could have kids.  I replied, “They aren’t mutually exclusive.  If I want a kid, I’d have one.  You don’t need a husband for that.”

Oh, what an uproar!  There were impressionable females around – like his wife … I just rolled my eyes and added “What makes you think I want kids or marriage?  I’m pretty happy with my life right now and I do travel quite a bit for my job.  Not conducive to a healthy relationship.”

His wife came to my rescue by saying she understood where I was coming from which resulted in more bluster from my uncle.  I went to find a pinochle game with people who wouldn’t nag at me.

It wasn’t just family, either.  A friend I hadn’t seen since high school asked me to lunch.  She was engaged and proceeded to state “I don’t plan on being a working wife, you know.”

I replied, “And I don’t plan on being a kept one.  I have earned a lot of respect in my career and I don’t plan to marry and quit and have babies.”

This seemed to upset a few of my male coworkers too, who looked at me in horror and said, “You don’t want to quit and have kids?  Why the hell not?”

I had one sales guy ask, “Does your boyfriend know this?”

I said, “Of course!”

That boyfriend, who is now my husband, understood from day one how I felt.  On our first date I told him ”I’m not June Cleaver and I will never be one.  If you want June Cleaver, I suggest you keep looking and we just remain friends.”  Obviously, he didn’t want June Cleaver…

I have dated guys who didn’t have common interests and who couldn’t understand where I was comig from.  When they couldn’t bring me to their way of thinking?  They got nasty and began putting me down for who I was … accusing me of being an intellectual snob.

It never feels good to be put down, so I reiterate my support for Susan’s advice.  Pair up with someone compatible in as many ways possible – including intelligence.

A lot less frustration and/or mental and emotional abuse…

Post script:  I wouldn’t recommend finding a spouse in college – not even grad school.  You are both still growing as people and finding yourselves as individuals.  That can come back to bite you if you marry – then change – or your spouse does.  A colleague told me the one solid piece of advice she would give people is not to marry in college – she credits her divorce to that mistake.

Homeopathic Staples for Family – Stomach

I have been using homeopathy for decades with excellent results.  The brands I’ve used and had good luck with are BoironHyland’s, and Nova.  In general, I get Boiron for single remedies, Hyland’s for Children’s Remedies, and Nova for specific combinations aimed at treating a condition in adults.

For many remedies, I keep two sets; one for home and one for travel.  These remedies have been invaluable in keeping my family healthy so I thought I would share them here.  The best part of homeopathy is the lack of side effects, the lack of contraindications with other medications, and the safety for infants and children.  Of course, you can always talk to your health care provider for your specific needs.

Organization.  It’s best to keep the remedies organized so you can find them when you need them.  One of the keys to homeopathy is to administer the remedy at the onset of symptoms.  I organize by what they treat.  For travel, I keep the remedies in ziplock bags marked appropriately.  At home, I have small plastic containers I purchased at the Container Store.  They have pull-out drawers that hold each group of remedies.

Stomach remedies.  This is probably the most important set of remedies to travel with, the possible exception being Arnica Montana.  I can’t count the number of times the remedy Nux Vomica has saved the day while on the road.  Excellent for stomach upset, stomach pain, and gas, this is a remedy I use instead of Pepto Bismol unless I can’t halt vomiting and dehydration is a danger.  This will also help with kids who are slightly constipated.  I have also used this remedy when early signs of stomach flu and/or food poisoning are present.

Arsenicum album is good for symptoms of food poisoning.  It’s also good to have oral charcoal around for severe cases.  This is one where you want to be very careful about excessive vomiting and potential dehydration.  Use common sense and seek emergency care if appropriate.  Lycopodium clavatum is good for gas.  Aesculus hippocastanum is good for hemorrhoids, both in treating pain and in eliminating them.

Ah, Life…Sometimes ya gotta wonder!

Sometimes I wonder if life is pushing me to react.

Right after I discovered a cure for the negative impact of my EMF Sensitivity, I began experiencing strange respiratory symptoms that included coughing, runny nose, and watery, burning eyes.  When the other family memebers experienced the same issues, I figured we were passing around some virus.  When it lasted over two months I began to consider allergies.  Then we discovered black mold in the house we were renting and put two and two together.

You can imagine what it feels like to look up and see that black stuff on the ceiling in your kids’ bedroom, knowing what little lungs they have.  I’d had both kids at the ER with breathing issues.  Now I knew why.  We moved them out immediately and contacted the landlord.  While we waited for service, we cleared the room, bought a high performance filter at Lowe’s, and made preparations to move. 

While figuring out what’s next we rented a furnished place and beginning the day we moved in, I suffered respiratory symptoms.  I thought I’d smelled mildew and a musty smell but I know that can happen when a place is closed up for awhile, so  I dismissed it.  I sat on the balcony and sighed when I realized the woman below lights up on hers.  She sounds like she has emphysema but I’ve discovered that being sick and congested and constantly coughing rarely motivates a smoker to quit.

I began taking Nova Homeopathics Air Pollution and Respiratory formulas, with good results.

Today,  I decided to clean the bathroom.  At first glance, the tub and shower liner looked pretty spotless, so I figured it would be easy.  However, no sooner did i start scrubbing when I notied black and rust colored crud flaking into the tub.  I leaned down and shook my head.

The tub is a regular tub but the shower is one of those liners some people use instead of tiling the bathroom wall.  While some liners are one contiguous piece, this was actually several and get this…no caulk had been applied where the different pieces fit together!  At every seam, black and rust colored mold filled the space.  Yech!

Can you imagine what the wall looks like behind the liner?  Oh my!

Fortunately, the cleaner I’d bought has bleach in it.  Good ol’ bleach.  I quickly sprayed the bleach cleaner and let it sit before scrubbing it.  As I watched the black and rust colored mold, interspersed with the occasional dark green, flow into the tub, I momentarily pondered whether my allergies would worsen because of what I was doing.  Then I realized that because I was already taking the homeopathic remedies, I was as safe as I could get.

I felt and feel no worse for it so that homeopathic stuff must be doing its job.

I finished scrubbing wherever I could access and made a note to tell the owner of the condo.  I also scrubbed the tub again and left the fan running to deal with the smell of chlorine.

Wanting to vacuum up a few crumbs, I pulled the vacuum from the closet.  It’s an old-fashioned model and it took us awhile to find the on/off switch.  As I moved it into the bedroom I noticed that the air was suddenly filled with dust.  Dust that was billowing like smoke from the vacuum.  At this point I gave up.  I put the vacuum away, made a mental note to mention this to the owner, and went to make dinner.

As I stood browning beef, I shook my head.  Was life trying to make me react?  I mean, how the heck am I supposed to get used to being well from the EMF Sensitivity symptoms if I’m constantly fighting this respiratory onslaught?  Grrrrrrrr!

Hmm, a margarita is sounding awfully good about now.

Cointreau, key lime juice, and tequila.  Yes, key lime juice.  It’s very tart and takes a bit of getting used to but it’s good!

I prefer this simple concoction.  It’s spoiled me to the point I no longer enjoy the restaurant variety.  They add sweet and sour, if not sugar, which, to me, ruins the taste.

How did I end up using key lime juice?  I had some left over from making a key lime pie and didn’t want it to go to waste so I substituted it.  Talk about a pucker!  But once I got used to it I found I preferred it over regular lime juice.  Go figure.

Holistically speaking, having an alcoholic beverage can be a great idea and something to be considered without guilt.  As someone who’s seen plenty of alcoholics in my lifetime, I know the difference between needing one and simply wanting to enjoy one.

Ah, life…sometimes, ya gotta wonder!

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